Interrupt, Ride the Wave, Ask Better Questions

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The first step in managing intense emotions is to interrupt the pattern by physically changing your environment or doing an activity to break the cycle. The second step is to ride the wave of intense emotions for 90 seconds to 2 minutes without reacting, by expanding internal awareness and focusing on the physical sensations rather than the story behind the emotions. The final step is to ask better questions once the emotions have settled, such as seeking alternative perspectives, opportunities, and learnings from the situation, which helps in avoiding impulsive reactions.

Former hostage negotiator Scott Walker shares powerful principles for masterful dialogue when the stakes are high.

— YOU’LL LEARN —

1) The number one skill of master negotiators

2) Two tricks to help prepare you for any conversation

3) How MORE PIES help build rapport

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— ABOUT SCOTT —

Scott Walker is one of the world's most experienced kidnap-for-ransom negotiators. He has helped resolve more than three hundred cases and other crises, such as piracy and cyber-extortion attacks. He spent sixteen years as a Scotland Yard detective engaged in covert, counterterrorist, and kidnapping operations. He left the police in 2015 to support organizations, government departments, and private individuals in securing the release of hostages. He now delivers negotiation workshops to organizations all over the world and is sought after as a keynote speaker. His first book, Order Out of Chaos, is out now and is a Sunday Times bestseller.

• Book: "Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion"

• Website: ScottWalkerBooks.co.uk

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW —

• Book: "I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships" by Michael Sorensen

• Book: "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" by Chriss Voss and Tahl Raz

• Book: "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)" by Marshall Rosenberg and Deepak Chopra

• Past episode: 311: Communication Secrets from FBI Kidnapping Negotiator Chris Voss

• Past episode: 693: Building Better Relationships through Validation with Michael Sorensen

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