Self-differentiation and Dealing with Triangulation in Relationships

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The key to avoiding being triangulated in a relationship is to practice self-differentiation, which involves taking responsibility for oneself and maintaining emotional connection without getting emotionally entangled. When someone tries to triangulate you, it's helpful to recognize that they are uncomfortable with another relationship, allowing you to avoid taking it personally or trying to fix the situation. Instead, you can give the person back responsibility for their problem, thus preventing yourself from being drawn into the triangle.

When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning.

This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer. You can find all 10 chapters of the book in Episodes 56-65 of this Podcast.

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If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer

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Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

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