Relationships and the Expansion of Self

In relationships, people become a part of us as our brain makes predictions about their behavior based on the time spent together. The more unpredictable someone is, the more independent they remain from our sense of self. However, due to our ability to predict their actions to some extent, they become integrated into our concept of self, allowing us to feel pride, happiness, and sadness based on their experiences. The sense of loss experienced in a breakup or the death of a loved one is likened to a contraction of the self. The practice of soldiers marching in lockstep is not just for intimidation or discipline; it offers each soldier the perception of a larger self by having other predictable bodies around them.