I really try to how are you. in a surface way or at least intend to they give a lot away if you're paying attention. I'm watching for the body language underneath it the look of the eye and tilt of the head. Sometimes just from that question alone people have revealed amazing things really surprising levels of vulnerability because in some ways all of us are waiting all of the time for someone to be interested in us. For someone to really see us to really hear us to know that we really matter.