Emotions, even unpleasant ones, can serve a purpose as teachable moments. Viewing regret as a seminar on making wiser decisions, guilt as a class on doing the right thing, boredom as a lesson on intrinsic motivation, and disappointment as a tutorial on preparation or perseverance. This approach provides an alternative to judgment, avoiding suppression or rumination. It fosters a movement towards compassion, curiosity, and acceptance, allowing for gentleness with oneself rather than judgment. In addition, embracing curiosity in experiencing difficult emotions can help to uncover unmet needs and values that are important to us.
You don’t always decide what you feel, but you do own how you react to those feelings. In her bestselling book and TED Talk, Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David examines the skills involved in emotional agility. She and Adam go deep on this topic, discussing the risks of judging and suppressing unwanted emotions — and effective techniques for managing them. They explore why optimism is not essential to well-being and how to overcome pressure to be positive. And they reveal how paying attention to what you feel can reveal what you value. Transcripts for ReThinking are available at go.ted.com/RWAGscripts