People often put a lot of effort into trying to be happy, but they still feel unsatisfied. This is because we have misconceptions about what will make us happy. We believe that if certain things happen, like getting a promotion, a higher salary, or achieving a specific goal, we will finally be happy. However, studies show that these things only provide a temporary happiness boost. Lasting happiness comes from something else. This misconception is known as the arrival fallacy or the happily ever after fallacy. We mistakenly predict that achieving certain things will make us happier than it actually does, and the happiness doesn't last as long as we expect. This sets us up for disappointment and the belief that we need to keep striving for more to finally be happy. Even wealthy individuals fall into this trap, thinking that more money or success will bring them happiness. However, they too realize that it doesn't fulfill them as they anticipated. We need to recognize and correct our bias in affective forecasting, understanding that the intensity and duration of happiness from external achievements are often overestimated.
Can you accurately identify what aspects of life make you happy? Would you even know if you found true happiness? Leading psychology professor and happiness expert Laurie Santos dives deep on all the factors that contribute to our happiness, why we spend so much energy pursuing it, some evidence-based methods to boost your happiness, why it’s crucial to protect yourself from unhappy people, and so much more.
Santos is a Professor of Psychology and the Head of Silliman College at Yale University. Since 2018 she’s been teaching Psychology and the Good Life, which is one of the most popular courses at Yale and at one point included approximately a quarter of the school’s undergraduates. She has also turned her course into a popular podcast series, The Happiness Lab.