“Women keep meeting the same 5%” - Matthew Hussey on What Men Get Wrong In Dating
Dropping In With Charlie Houpert
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The Romantic Model of Self-Love
Believing that we deserve love because of certain qualities can lead to feeling undeserving and unlovable when lacking those traits. On the other hand, valuing ourselves based on specific traits can prompt comparison and feeling less lovable when encountering someone embodying more of those traits. The speaker suggests that loving ourselves should mirror the way we fall in love with others, through seeing attractive qualities and a sense of mystery. However, constantly closing the gap between ourselves and this idealized self can lead to contempt over time, akin to the notion that familiarity breeds contempt in long-term relationships.
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