3min snip

Worklife with Adam Grant cover image

The science of healthy relationships with John and Julie Gottman

Worklife with Adam Grant

NOTE

Tools for Effective Conflict Resolution in Relationships

Couples are recommended to have a weekly 'state of the union' conversation to discuss and address issues without letting them affect the entire relationship. It is effective to solve problems before they escalate into anger. In this conversation, there are steps to follow to avoid repetitive fights. The first step is to use a softened startup when bringing up a problem, expressing emotions and positive needs. The next step is to engage in a deeper conversation called 'dreams within conflict', where both partners take turns asking profound questions about beliefs, values, history, ideal dreams, and underlying purposes. Finally, compromise is discussed, emphasizing the importance of separating flexible and non-flexible aspects, as compromise fails when individuals try to compromise on something they cannot give up.

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