New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.
---
Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.
Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.
This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.
In this episode we talk about:
- Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
- The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called "displacement theory"
- The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness
- Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
- What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
- How to reframe social rejection
- The importance of generosity
- How to handle conflict with your friends
- The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
- When to walk away from a relationship
- How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
- How to deal with social anxiety
- And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561
