How to Change successfully

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Help rejecting complainers are people who don't actually want help or change, they just want to complain. Therapy aims to uncover what is keeping someone from changing and facing uncertainty. Change requires taking responsibility for one's own life. The stages of change include pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. Maintenance is crucial and self-compassion is essential when slipping up. The longer one stays in the maintenance phase, the easier it becomes to make the change a new normal.

Ryan speaks with Lori Gottlieb about the profound effect that stories have on our lives, why we are all unreliable narrators, how we can make real steps toward positive change by practicing self-compassion, understanding other peoples’ experiences by listening to their stories, and more.

Lorr Gottlieb is a physiotherapist, writer, speaker, and podcast host whose work focuses on the role that stories and storytelling take in shaping our mental landscape. She obtained an undergraduate degree at Stanford University and a Masters of Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and she is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She published the New York Times bestseller, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone in 2019, which she repurposed into a journal version in 2022 titled Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: The Journal. She also writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic and is the co-host of the iHeart Radio podcast "Dear Therapists." Her TED Talk was one of the top most-watched talks of 2019. Her work can be found on her website lorigottlieb.com.

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