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How to make friendship work. A conversation with Robin Dunbar

Inner Life, Talks and Thoughts

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Exploring the Contrasts Between Women's and Men's Friendships

Women's friendships are focused, dyadic, emotionally intense, with importance placed on 'who you are'. Maintaining high-quality conversations is crucial for women's friendships to last. On the other hand, men's friendships are casual, diffused, revolve around 'what you are', and emphasize doing activities together. Conversation has no impact on the longevity of male friendships; instead, engaging in shared activities strengthens their bonds. Men's social circles have a club-like dynamic, where members can be easily replaced, unlike women's friendships that are based on personalized and effortful dyadic relationships. Both forms of friendship are valid solutions to creating a social world.

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