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How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman

10% Happier with Dan Harris

NOTE

Speak Your Feelings, Not Their Flaws

Effective communication during conflict requires a shift from critiquing a partner's flaws to expressing personal feelings and needs. Individuals often err by highlighting their partner's perceived shortcomings, which invites defensiveness and hinders productive dialogue. Instead, one should focus on articulating their emotional response to the situation and clearly stating their positive needs. This approach fosters understanding and connection, increasing the likelihood that the partner will listen and respond positively.

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