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526: Relationship red flags & how to find The One | John Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Gottman, Ph.D., the world’s leading relationship experts
The mindbodygreen Podcast
Conflict Styles in Relationships
The way people engage in conflict within relationships can either lead to feelings of estrangement or intimacy. In healthy and stable relationships, conflicts are opportunities to deepen understanding, fostering closeness and intimacy. Three main conflict styles in relationships are identified as avoiding, validating, and volatile. Avoiding couples agree to disagree without trying to persuade each other. Validators calmly discuss and listen to each other's perspectives to reach resolutions. Volatile couples are intense and emotional, arguing passionately which can lead to escalated quarrels. All three styles are acceptable if the positive interactions during conflicts are at least five times more than negative ones. Problems arise when partners have mismatched conflict styles, such as one being persuasive while the other is avoidant.
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