The Importance of Generative Drive in Relationships

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GUEST SERIES | Dr. Paul Conti: How to Build and Maintain Healthy Relationships

Huberman Lab

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The Importance of Generative Drive in Relationships

We often focus too much on finding similarities in relationships, but that's not the key. Seeking differences can actually be more important. The only time sameness really matters is when it's a concrete factor like geographical location. When it comes to the pillars of self and generative drive, finding a partner who complements us and shares our drive is what truly matters.

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This is episode 3 of a 4-part special series on mental health with Dr. Paul Conti, M.D., a psychiatrist who did his medical training at Stanford School of Medicine and residency at Harvard Medical School. He is the author of the book, “Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic.” Dr. Conti explains how to find, develop and strengthen healthy relationships — including romantic relationships, work and colleague relationships, and friendships. He explains a roadmap of the conscious and unconscious mind that can allow anyone to navigate conflicts better and set healthy boundaries in relationships. We also discuss common features of unhealthy relationships and clinically supported tools for dealing with relationship insecurity, excessive anxiety, past traumas, manipulation and abuse. Dr. Conti explains how, in healthy relationships, there emerges a dynamic of the mutually generative “us” and how to continually improve that dynamic. The next episode in this special series explores true self-care, which can be cultivated through a process of building self-awareness along with other important practices.

For the full show notes, visit hubermanlab.com.