i did have stage fright, mu, you know. My career up until that date represented a triumph of narcisism over fear. And so i was always kind of walking the line. But then you add in significant amounts of cocaine, and i crossed the line to freak out. Well, it was factorial, but i think the most important variable was my wife. She gave me a gift of a book by a a guy named doctor mark epstein,. He has written a beautiful series of books about the overlap between psychology and buddhism. I didn't actually know much about buddhism other than the fact that i had stolen buddha statue from a local gardening store when

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