How to Bring More Pleasure into Life (and Sex) | Emily Nagoski
Good Life Project
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Shared Ecstasy and Fascination in Relationships
In a relationship, partners do not spend their days gazing into each other's eyes, rather they turn their joint attention towards third things that bring shared ecstasy and fascination. This could be their kids, a sport, an art form, a favorite TV show, or any topic that excites both partners. According to John Gottman's research, when partners locate their sexuality as a third thing between them, it becomes a site of joint fascination, liberating them from assigning blame or feeling that something is fundamentally wrong with their relationship.
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