141. How to get over someone you can't stop thinking about
The Psychology of your 20s
Understanding the Difficulty of Letting Go
When a relationship ends, it can feel like going through drug withdrawal. Our brains become addicted to the pleasure center sensations brought by the person. We continue to chase that feeling by texting and seeing them, which gives small addictive spikes of neurotransmitters. This attachment is not about self-discipline or desire to move on, but our brain demanding we lessen the emotional and physical withdrawal. Reminiscing over the person may be a projection of deeper unhappiness and assigning blame for emotional distress to the ex. It's a delusional way of thinking that their presence will make things better. Emotional distress may come from a deeper place, not just the end of the relationship. Seeking comfort in past memories is a result of stress and anxiety caused by the relationship's end. Losing someone triggers fear, especially for those with an anxious attachment style.
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