Harsh Startup vs. Soft Startup

In conflicts, aiming for the positive by using humor, validation, or expressing understanding can help maintain successful relationships. A 'bomb drop' fight occurs when suppressed irritations are suddenly expressed in a negative and blaming way, leading to defensiveness. Contrastingly, a 'soft startup' involves expressing feelings about a situation without blaming the partner and stating positive needs, providing a recipe for success. For example, addressing an issue with a partner's critical mother, a harsh startup blames the partner's mother negatively, while a soft startup focuses on expressing feelings and the situation neutrally.