Dr. Becky Kennedy: The One Thing You Can Say That Changes Everything
The Knowledge Project
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Internalizing Fault and Blame for Safety
Children need to believe that they are safe and their parents are good to feel secure. When children face adversity, internalizing fault and blame can be adaptive as it helps them maintain the belief that the world around them is safe. However, this adaptive behavior can hinder adults as they continue to blame themselves even in times of struggle. Repairing this tendency becomes crucial, as events themselves do not necessarily harm children; it is the negative stories they tell themselves about the events that impact them and become encoded in their memories.
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