Fantasy bonds can lead to prolonged, unfulfilling situationships characterized by longing, wishful thinking, and heartbreak. Often, individuals overlook their partner's lack of commitment, believing that more time or effort will change the dynamics. This mindset is misguided, as it relies on the false premise that the person will eventually become who we wish they could be. The fantasy of love is rooted in a misunderstanding of reality, creating an unconscious but harmful game of hoping for a love based on potential rather than actual commitment.
Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it prevents us from seeing someone for who they truly are, causes us to be lead along and invest in the wrong people. In this episode, we break down the psychology of fantasy bonding, including:
- The origins of fantasy bonding in childhood
- How a fantasy bond emerges
- Relationship intensity and attachment
- Why our fear of loneliness drives us into the wrong relationships
- The idealisation of our partners
- What happens when the fantasy fades
- How to avoid a fantasy bond
Listen now.
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