Navigating the Mentor's Dilemma: Balancing Feedback and Support

The mentor's dilemma highlights the challenge of providing critical feedback to young individuals without damaging their motivation or self-esteem. Mentors face a choice between delivering harsh truths that may hurt a young person's feelings and offering soft, unhelpful support that fails to encourage improvement. This dilemma manifests across various settings, such as education and the workplace, where generational conflicts may arise due to differing approaches to feedback. Effective mentoring does not require choosing between being overly strict or overly lenient; instead, it hinges on clear communication that conveys high standards while showing support. Research indicates that simple clarifications of intent can significantly enhance receptiveness to feedback. For instance, studies involving seventh graders demonstrated that when teachers communicated their high standards and belief in the students' potential, students were markedly more willing to engage with critical feedback and revise their work. By emphasizing care and potential alongside standards, mentors can navigate the mentor's dilemma effectively, fostering both improvement and motivation in young people.