The Humane Way to End a Relationship

The key to ending a relationship or firing someone is to do it quickly and without unnecessary pain. Firing someone on a Monday gives them a work week to recover, while firing them on a Friday leaves them miserable all weekend. When delivering bad news, warn them first and then deliver it directly, without lingering. The sooner the relationship is ended, the sooner people can move on and embrace their resilience.

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In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions.

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