Relationship Renovation: Marriage Advice, Intimacy & Couples Communication

Couples often come to therapy because they are fed up with patterns of conflict that leave them both frustrated, alone, and hopeless. When couples end up in repetitive arguments, they increasingly lose confidence in their ability to stay connected in a difficult time. They build resentment and eventually become more emotionally and physically distant. When couples learn to listen, become aware, and empathize with their partner's experience, moments of conflict can become learning experiences where they gain confidence in each other.In this episode, Tarah and EJ share a recent argument between them. They use this personal experience to help couples understand why conflict happens in a relationship. They explore the conscious and unconscious choices, which pull them apart or bring them together. They show that by developing self-awareness and making intentional choices, a difficult moment can be an opportunity to learn and grow together.Episode TranscriptBuild a healthier bond with your partner ---> Relationship Renovation @ HomeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Trauma profoundly impacts an individual’s daily life and causes significant dysregulation in their nervous system, especially in times of distress. 70% of adults in the United States have experienced some form of trauma, which amounts to over 220 million individuals suffering from the effects of a traumatic event. With such a substantial amount of people having suffered from a traumatic event in their life, trauma and its’ effects have a profound impact on couples and families. Because of the complexity of trauma and the multitude of ways it impacts individuals, it often goes untreated, leading to significant disruptions in the lives of the suffering individual and their relationship.In this episode, Tarah and EJ interview Shara LPC, MSC, NCC, EAGALA, Clinical Director of Sabino Recovery. Sabino Recovery is a trauma-focused residential treatment center in Tucson, AZ. The three take a broad look at trauma, how it presents in life, and various treatments. They explore a wide range of treatment modalities that have proven to be effective in treating trauma-related disorders. They also discuss residential treatment and how this level of care can help individuals, couples and families heal from trauma’s profound effects.Episode Transcriptionhttps://www.sabinorecovery.com/https://www.eagala.org/indexhttps://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ArticleSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Throughout an intimate relationship, couples face challenging times. Many of the burdens you face as a couple, result from difficult times, external stress, and how you and your partner cope. Oftentimes, the stress you face is a direct result of your partner's choices and how they succeed and fail to adapt to the ups and downs of life. Resentment is the uncomfortable emotion that individuals in a committed relationship feel when they blame their partner for the emotional discomfort they are feeling. Resentment is a result of pulling apart in challenging moments and beginning to feel alone and unsupported at a time when you would like to feel deeply connected and united in the face of adversity.In this episode, Tarah and EJ discuss how resentment develops within a relationship and what happens when couples struggle to communicate this complicated emotion. They share their experience as therapists and a couple and share their insight into how couples may avoid falling into patterns of frustration and loneliness and instead stay emotionally present and intimately connected during difficult times.Episode TranscriptLearn more about all the ways Tarah and EJ support couples in having the best relationship possible!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Throughout an individual’s life, they have experiences that shape how they see and interact with the world. Our prior experiences create the way we respond consciously and unconsciously in our relationships. When couples come together, they have entirely different ways to adapt to their environment. When you enter into an intimate relationship, you respond to life simultaneously. Unfortunately, you and your partner will inevitably respond in asymmetrical ways that lead to conflict. By understanding each other’s past and becoming more mindful of your responses, you can begin to create new systems that allow you to solve problems and express affection in a mutually satisfying way. In this episode Tarah and EJ interview Gabe Lobato Therapist, business owner, husband, and father. The three discuss how couples often face struggles in their relationship due to their early life experiences. They discuss the insights needed for individuals, families, and couples to understand their struggles and create a pathway to love, connection, and healthy communication. Relationship Renovation at Home22 lessons following a structured approach to rebuilding your relationshipEach lesson provides a video and a take-home worksheet to facilitate an activityEach lesson builds upon the last, creating a clear path of growth and deepening connection with your partnerSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The beginning of a relationship is often a time of excitement and immense pleasure. You and your partner stay up late talking, kissing, and more! It’s almost like you can’t get enough of them. You can face the next day of work or school with little to no sleep and show up with the high of love exuding out of every pore on your body. This “honeymoon” period of love and attraction can last weeks, months, or even years. But when it ends, there can be a tremendous letdown, and suddenly the love of your life becomes human with all of their flaws and shortcomings. For some couples, the initial thrill of falling in love can be washed away by real-life stressors. Sometimes…It Gets Real Quick!In this episode, Tarah and EJ discuss the impact of complexity entering a relationship early on. They explore why relationships can become complex and help couples understand that this does not always mean that their relationship is flawed. They discuss the myriad of reasons the golden period of a relationship ends and focus on how facing challenges can help couples forge a deep bond of love and appreciation. They help listeners build the insights needed to better understand themselves and each other. They share stories from their relationship and wisdom gained from their decades of counseling experience.Learn more about all the ways Tarah and EJ support couples in having the best relationship possible!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Relationships face their most significant struggles in times of transition. Childbirth and having a baby is one of the most significant life changes that individuals and couples face during their lifecycle. Becoming parents creates a significant shift in the identity of an individual which can pull a couple apart in a time when they want to feel the most connected. Couples are often unprepared for the marital/relationship challenges that they face when they become parents.In this episode Tarah and EJ interview Catherine O'Brien author of Happy With Baby: Essential Relationship Advice When Partners Become Parents . Catherine is a family therapist, speaker and educator. After giving birth to her first child, Catherine realized that adding a baby into a relationship dynamic changes everything. She discovered her passion for helping new parents to communicate and thrive through this transition. They discuss common struggles and strategies that preparing and new parents can use as they prepare for and live through an addition to their family.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Individuals have countless options to help them find another person (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, HER, etc.). But, once you have found someone you want to be with, technological resources dry up, and you are left on your own. The process of building a healthy relationship is almost entirely unsupported in the digital world. The proliferation of dating apps can keep individuals in a constant state of seeking the “next best thing” instead of appreciating and cultivating their current relationship.In this episode, Tarah and EJ interview Zac Stern, creator of Official, an app designed to help couples build healthy relationships. They discuss the challenges of dating in the digital age and the obstacles couples face in working together to strengthen their commitment. In creating Official, Zac had a team researching what helps couples build a bond early in their relationship. During this interview, he shares how his app can help couples get the most out of the early moments of their relationship.getofficial.cohttps://www.tiktok.com/@getofficialappSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Taking an honest and empathetic yet critical look at how the past will affect the future helps couples create the loving relationship that they crave. It helps them identify the obstacles that get in the way of healthy conflict resolution. When couples lack the understanding of the roots of the discord in their relationship they get lost in destructive patterns of communication which diminishes their ability to feel intimately connected. In this episode, Tarah and EJ begin by reflecting on the fatigue and distress they have seen individuals and couples struggle with over the past year. They go on to discuss the importance of reflecting on the past year with your significant other than creating clear, concrete, and achievable goals for 2022. They share insights and strategies based upon their decades of helping individuals and couples live happier and healthier lives. Together Tarah and EJ have created Relationship Renovation at Home.Relationship Renovation at Home. is designed for couples facing struggles in their relationship and couples who want to strengthen their relationship. Relationship Renovation at home gives couples the tools to communicate in a healthier way and strengthen their intimate connection.This program focuses on developing a deeper understanding of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. And by doing so, you will gain confidence in the resilience of your relationship. Each of the 22 lessons has a video with Tarah and EJ discussing key concepts of relationship wellness that help you understand underlying dynamics and common obstacles that couples face. The videos prepare you and your partner to work through accompanying exercises that stimulate conversation where you build the trust, empathy and understanding needed to achieve your relationship goals.Relationship Renovation at home includes: 22 lessons structured approach to rebuilding your relationship Exploration of underlying dynamics and common obstacles that couples faceSequential exercises focused on deepening emotional and intimate connections Access to a closed Facebook Group with 600+ couples sharing their experiences Get direct access to E.J. and Tara’s Relationship Expertise Relationship Renovation at Home.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Couples often struggle to make their relationship a priority. They trust that the deep bond created early on in their relationship will naturally maintain their connection. Other aspects of their lives (career, hobbies, children, family) take up all their time and energy, and their relationship ends up on the back burner. It takes creativity, intentionality, and consistency to create ongoing quality time together. But when they do, they feel more intimately connected and supported by one another.In this episode, Tarah and EJ interview Diana and Robert Indries, creators of Better Topics Card Game for Couples. Better Topics is a couple’s card that helps couples have fun and enrich their relationship. They loved the idea of a card game for couples. They asked themselves - How do we make it fun? How do we design the card game so that couples can play it week after week? The goal is to help couples experience more love, joy, and connection with each other, and they believe this simple game will do just that! You can learn more on the Better Topics home page.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

When a couple seeks help for their relationship, they address various topics -- communication, parenting, finances, family integration, appreciation, work/life balance, and of course, sex and intimacy. No issue is more complicated to navigate than a couple's intimate relationship. Having the ability to express love and receive love from your partner is the foundation of wellness and satisfaction in your relationship. Unfortunately, sex and intimacy are frequently where couples are most ill-equipped to communicate constructively. When couples become comfortable talking about sex, they open the door to a mutually satisfying intimate relationship where they feel loved, cherished, and wanted. In this episode, Tarah and EJ discuss the new Netflix show "Sex Love and Goop." This series is produced by Gwyneth Paltrow and explores a variety of couples receiving support from experts in sexual wellness. Experts help couples learn how to enhance their relationships through more pleasurable sex and deeper intimacy. Tarah and EJ discuss the show and how they relate to it as couples therapists and as a couple themselves navigating a lifelong intimate relationship. Sex Love and GoopRelationship Renovation @ HomeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands