

Non-Monogamy Help
Lola Phoenix
Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Oct 9, 2026 • 26min
Episode 192 - Long Distance Priority
A partner with a long-distance, hierarchical dynamic wonders if wanting dedicated phone calls and a family introduction is asking too much. It isn't.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Sep 25, 2026 • 27min
Episode 191 - Cheating, Not Polyamory
Repeated cheating, gaslighting, and coerced sex get dressed up as non-monogamy. On telling the difference, setting a boundary, and when to bring in outside support.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Sep 11, 2026 • 25min
Episode 190 - Anxiety Misfiring
Anxiety about a partner's other relationships isn't a malfunction. It's a fear shaped by a monogamy-centric upbringing. On self-compassion, control, and what you can actually manage.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Aug 28, 2026 • 22min
Episode 189 - Pre-Approving Partners
A partner accused of cheating despite following the rules asks how much control is too much. On confronting, consenting, or cutting ties with a controlling agreement.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Aug 14, 2026 • 24min
Episode 188 - Coming Out Later
A crumb seems like a feast to someone who's starving, but the meals you actually deserve change what you're willing to accept. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jul 31, 2026 • 23min
Episode 187 - Ex Becomes a Metamour
Take the Beducated quiz and sign up with my link here: https://beduc.at/pd2627-lolaNo relationship is inherently safer than any other, and trying to control every possible outcome only breeds the fear it's meant to prevent.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

7 snips
Jul 17, 2026 • 28min
Episode 186 - Communication Versus Gaslighting
A listener in a triad feels increasingly excluded as their partner invests more attention in a long-distance relationship. The discussion explores reciprocal communication, defensiveness, jealousy, unequal attraction, and the realities of triad dynamics. It also examines withdrawn affection, overgiving for validation, therapy, boundaries, and the danger of staying trapped by sunk costs.

Jul 3, 2026 • 17min
Episode 185 - Relationship Anarchy and Autonomy
Conversation about balancing personal autonomy with responsibilities in relationships. Discussion of fairness in shared household and childcare tasks. A listener’s story about feeling sidelined sparks talk of scheduling intentional time and setting boundaries. Advice on recognizing resistance when a partner won’t meet needs and what that can signal for the relationship.

Jun 19, 2026 • 30min
Episode 184 - Dating a Co-Worker
Shrinking to make space in a partner's life only suffocates oneself and creates resentment that will eventually become unavoidable.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by the BeMoreKinky app. BeMoreKinky is the leading app for helping couples in kinky or non-monogamous relationships to understand their kinks, communicate them with their partners, and organize play. Learn more at https://bemorekinky.com.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact

Jun 5, 2026 • 24min
Episode 183 - Disclosure and Privacy in Polyamory
Sometimes the best way to address fear of missing out is to invite partners to share new experiences, rather than tell them afterwards.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help.This episode is sponsored by the BeMoreKinky app. BeMoreKinky is the leading app for helping couples in kinky or non-monogomous relationships to understand their kinks, communicate them with their partners, and organize play. Learn more at https://bemorekinky.com.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email [email protected] with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact


