What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

We’ve all been in moments when we have to make a Big Ask. As in: it’s 2 a.m. The baby is throwing up and spiking a high fever. Your partner is out of town. Your other kid is asleep upstairs. Who are you going to call in the middle of the night? Making that ask is never easy.But why? Why is it so hard to ask for big help, especially when we’re usually grateful to be able to assist a friend in need? Anyone who’s been a parent long enough has been on both the giving and receiving side of that Big Help ask. And when we’re on the receiving end of that kind of request, from a friend we know is struggling, we’re usually really happy– even grateful– to be able to help. So how can we become “askable friends” and better helpers?And how can we prepare for the big help times in our own lives before they arrive? In this episode, we discuss the reasons why asking for help can be so hard, especially for mothers when asking for big help is “justified” (and making asking for small help okay) acute needs vs. chronic needs how to really help a struggling friend, rather than saying “let me know if you need anything” some useful ways to help a friend grieving a loss and how we can make that short list of friends, and offer to BE on that short list of friends, before the time comes. In the end, asking for big help is about showing up for ourselves. Here’s how our listener Jennifer put it: “I can ask for help, even if I can technically handle it, but I just want, or need a break. I don't need to drive myself to the edge of the cliff before I ask.”Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Mayday: Asking For Help In Times Of Need, by Nora Bouchardlotsahelpinghands.com (@lotsahelpinghands on Twitter)Enjoli fragrance commercial Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Audible has everything you love to listen to, INCLUDING this podcast, all in one app! Try Audible free for 30 days by going to audible.com/fresh, or by texting FRESH to 500-500.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Cursing is one parenting dilemma that people have different takes on. Some feel that cursing has no place in the home and some feel that cursing falls firmly in the "no big deal" category.This week's Question of the Week addresses Brooke's dilemma from our Facebook page:How should I handle “bad” words with younger children? My husband wants our children never be exposed to cursing at all. I view them as words with functional meaning beyond their use for disrespect. I want to educate my kids on these words, but my husband fears our kids may use them socially and be punished. Our kids are 4 and 6.While both approaches to cursing (limiting their use at home vs. normalizing cursing at home) may be valid, it is unrealistic to believe that your children will never be exposed to cursing.If you choose to keep a tight reign on cursing (which Margaret is all for) it cuts down on the work of monitoring the "spaces and places" where using "bad" words is allowed as kids move out into the world. On the other hand, cursing, as a fairly low-stakes behavioral issue, can be an area where parents choose to allow more leeway.As long as you and your spouse are comfortable with the way your child is using language in your home and in public you are probably doing fine - but look for a few warning signs: A child that is using curse words frequently, in defiance of your rules A child that is using curse words towards other parents or caregivers A child that is getting in trouble at school for using bad language These uses of "bad language" can be examples of boundary-seeking behavior, and can indicate a child or a family relationship that is veering out of control. If you see these behaviors around language it may be time to revisit and reset your boundaries or seek the help of a professional in resetting the rules at home.Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Debbie Reber is a parenting activist,  bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of TiLT Parenting, a top podcast, community, and educational resource for parents raising differently wired children.Her most recent book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. At least twenty percent of today's children have differences: anxiety, ADHD, autism, giftedness, processing disorders, and learning disabilities, to name just a few. As Debbie puts it, “It's becoming increasingly clear that different ways of being are more 'normal' than most people realize, and that is truer with each passing year.” In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss why the expectations and limitations for neurotypical kids, and some of the suggestions for parenting them, can be inadequate when your kid is differently wired. Debbie suggests that such kids might be better served by finding opportunities to "tilt" our parenting, rather than struggle to straighten the child.Small changes can have big impacts for differently wired kids. Debbie's work is full of concrete, actionable ideas that will allow both parents and kids to thrive.Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever figured out a thing and thought everyone must know about this? In this episode we discuss the things that we (and our listeners) have figured out about how to pack freezer organization deciding once (this idea is from the Lazy Genius, and this Instagram thread is full of lazy genius) making yourself want to clean a messy room recognizing your best day deciding where things belong unloading a dishwasher always knowing what’s for dinner finishing what you start snack stashes making lists and how to discern between good ideas for somebody, and good ideas for you Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Teens today are driving less, and later, and are far less motivated to drive than we were. The number of 16-year-old licensed drivers in the United States decreased from 46.2 percent in 1983 to 25.6 percent in 2018.But shouldn't our teens learn how to drive? Isn't that a skill they're going to want to have at some point? And how do we get them to buy into that, instead of it becoming something else for teens and parents to fight about?This is how a listener put it on our Facebook page:My almost 17-year-old does not want to drive. We put him through drivers ed, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to practice. He has ADHD and is terrified of wrecking. My question is, do we push him to at least get his license or let it go? I’ll give you one guess which parent wants to push….ADHD is an additional risk factor for young drivers, particularly in the first months of their driving. But ADHD in itself doesn't cause bad driving– it's the risky behaviors to which teens with ADHD are more prone that cause more accidents. This can become a teachable moment to talk with a teen about those behaviors and why they're more dangerous once he's behind the wheel.But giving our kids a sense of self-efficacy isn't just good for them– as Jess Lahey argues in her new book THE ADDICTION INOCULATION, it can be protective, putting them at lower risk for addiction and other risky behaviors.In the long run, a driver's license might help a teen with anxiety. Consistent encouragement, rather than forcing the issue, will hopefully lead to a driving teen– and more independence for everyone in the house– a little sooner.Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that Amy mentions in this episode:Healthline: Teens with ADHD 62% More at Risk of an Accident in First Month of DrivingKatharina Buchholz for Statista: Americans Get Driver's Licenses Later in LifeAmerican Academy of Pediatrics: Traffic Crashes, Violations, and Suspensions Among Young Drivers With ADHDJess Lahey for The New York Times: How to Lower Your Child’s Risk for AddictionSpecial thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kim Williams is a change agent and community-builder for single moms. As the host of the podcast Experiencing Motherhood: Single and Black, Kim aspires to help single moms live the lives they desire without feeling alone. Through the podcast and her work on social media, Kim has built a large community of single moms that support one another both online and offline.In this episode, we discuss what systems Kim thinks are particularly essential for single moms– and how single moms can find, ask for, and get the support they need.Find Kim online @singleblackmotherhood, and listen to her podcast here.Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are the consistent and ongoing family debates in your household? Our Facebook group came through with their most heated family debate topics, and this week we give the ultimate answer for questions like: Should dishes be rinsed clean before they go in the dishwasher? Is it acceptable to call someone after 8 pm? Is a garage for storing stuff, or for storing cars? When you're making a bed, which side is up for the flat sheet? What is the correct pronunciation of "Reese's Pieces"? Here are links to two things we discuss in this episode:Reese's Pieces ad, 1984 (note the repeated and correct pronunciation)"Doorbell" by Sebastian ManiscalcoSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH30 to unlock 15 free days plus 30% off your subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One of the greatest obstacles to keeping our houses in order is the sheer amount of stuff that arrives on a daily basis. Kids have a hard time letting go of things, but moms have a hard time having their houses filled with endless clutter!This week Jennifer asks:How do I help my kids (10 and 12 years old) get rid of all the stuff? We have so many toys and books and cardboard creations. They want to keep everything. EVERY. THING. I’ve tried getting them involved in picking stuff to donate to those less fortunate, and they just absolutely flat out refuse.We've all had the experience of trying to get rid of a long-neglected toy, only to have our kid announce suddenly that it is their most beloved possession ever!Four things to do to cut down on "the stuff" are: Cut it off at the source: limit the amount of items coming in to your house by limiting purchases, and taking pictures of school projects instead of saving them. Hold a firm line: decide before you begin a clean up that for every four things you keep, one must go. Cull when they're not around: When you are cleaning without your kids around, you are allowed to get rid of things like cars with broken wheels and forgotten Happy Meal toys without asking permission. Limit collections: Everyone is the family is allowed two, not twenty. Your kids' strong feelings about their stuff does not mean they get to make all the decisions about what remains in your house. It's okay for parents to enforce rules that make your living situation more pleasant for everyone involved.Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Michele Borba  is a renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying, and character development. Her latest book is THRIVERS: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. This book offers practical, actionable ways to help kids develop the traits they need to thrive from preschool through high school, teaching them how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow.In this interview, Michele explains the "seven teachable traits" that allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life. Michele says the best parenting starts by meeting any kid exactly where they are, then giving them these tools to struggle less and shine more.* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!* Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast* Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast* YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast* Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast* Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast* questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vaccines. Mandate-liftings. Scaled reopenings. All of these things are great and long wished for.But we were kind of thinking there'd be a bell, or something. A hard deadline. A day when we'd all dance out into the ticker-taped streets and make out with strangers in Times Square.Without a "you are now free to move about the cabin" announcement, how will we know when it's okay for grandparents to visit? To fly to that wedding? To toss our masks once and for all?When is it okay to start saying yes?Our listener Heather put it this way:I think seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can be unsettling. We've been living in this weird way for a year now. And as much as it seems crazy, we've gotten used to it.Psychologists call the stress this is making us feel the “third-quarter phenomenon.” For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus.As things start to open up and some of us don't feel ready, or wonder if the world is ready, it's a new source of stress that we were saved from when we were all apart.Past scientists and astronauts who suffered from the “third-quarter phenomenon" were advised to refocus on their mission- why they were doing what they were doing, and the great worth of seeing it through. Seems like great advice for the rest of us. Focusing on the mission might be what will get us through this last part of the tunnel.Here are links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Tara Law for Time: We're in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice For How to Get Through ItRobert Bechtel and Amy Berning: The Third-Quarter Phenomenon: Do People Experience Discomfort After Stress Has Passed?Nathan Smith: The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space"Beautiful City" from Godspell (1973)"Brand New Day" from The Wiz (1978)@neilochka on Instagram* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!* Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast* Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast* YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast* Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast* Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast* questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices