What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Tired of buying new everything when your kid inevitably misplaces it? It's natural for kids to be a little disorganized, but if your kid is losing things left and right, there are some simple steps you can take.A member of our Facebook group asked: Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He lost three sweatshirts in the two months he was in in-person school, a tennis racquet at tennis camp, baseball glove at baseball practice, shin guards at soccer camp… and don’t even get me started on water bottles! The “lost and found” turned up one of the many things he has lost, but that is it. He swears each time that he put the things in his bag. Unless, there is a sweaty shin guard thief, this obviously is untrue. We’ve tried charts and check lists. We’ve tried making him earn the replacement items, but nothing seems to stop the constant misplacing of items. HELP!For the truly forgetful kids, the oft-cited "natural consequences"– if he doesn't have his shin guards, he won't be able to play, and he'll sure remember next time!– rarely work. Your child will feel chagrined, but be just as likely to forget the next time.In this episode Amy suggests what has worked in her household, like making reminders unmissable (put the reminder ON the doorknob, not hanging above it) labeling everything that costs more than the label would (Amy uses oliverslabels.com) use list-making apps and model using them yourself (Amy uses Workflowy) Kids do well if they can. Don’t give up on the checklists and the reminders if they don’t work right away. Keep your support system consistent– and non-shaming– and eventually your child will check for those shin guards before he leaves the field. Here are some resources worth looking into for kids who are a little disorganized: Check out Carolyn Dalgliesh's ideas for helping forgetful kids get organized: http://www.carolyndalgliesh.com/ Sara Olsher of Mighty + Bright has lots of great tools for helping kids stay organized Our Fresh Take with Ryan Wexelblatt, the ADHD Dude Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it really take to be a public school teacher in America? Alexandra Robbins, author of "THE TEACHERS: A Year Inside America's Most Vulnerable, Important Profession," illuminates how today's teachers battle against school shootings, shrinking budgets, irate parents and politicians, and the educational system itself.Alexandra Robbins is an award-winning investigative reporter who has written for publications, including The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Atlantic.In this interview Alexandra, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Our common misconceptions about what being a teacher entails Why the "teacher shortage" is a misnomer How we can truly support teachers Here's where you can find Alexandra: https://alexandrarobbins.com/ Facebook: AuthorAlexandraRobbins Twitter: @AlexndraRobbins Instagram: @authoralexandrarobbins Buy The Teachers: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781101986752 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we raise healthy, loving, polite, and appreciative teens? Is it humanly possible? From remaining "passively available" to taking our adolescents' seemingly trivial problems seriously, our listeners had great advice for bringing up teenagers.Amy and Margaret discuss: The blessing of nerd-dom How to keep your face in check when talking to your teen Why it's important to let your teen fail sometimes Here's our Fresh Take with Michelle Icard, author of "Fourteen Talks by Age 14"Here's the link to the full thread in our Facebook groupSign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we get our kids to do things the FIRST time they're asked, not the millionth time? Is it even possible?A listener from our FB group asks:"You have often given the advice from the dog-training world not to repeat yourself over and over again, because you are teaching your kids they only have to respond to the 3rd, 7th, or 100th time you ask. My question is: what do I do instead? Say I tell my toddler, "It's time to go brush teeth," and he ignores me to keep playing because: toddler. If I immediately remove the thing the toddler is playing with and pick him up to go to the bathroom, we are in tantrum land. Then bedtime is delayed by twenty minutes while we calm down. I don't want to turn every interaction into an exhausting battle of wills, but I also don't want to sound like a broken record. HELP."When kids are resisting instructions, it's important to suss out the real problems and find solutions for those specific instances.In this case of asking your toddler to brush their teeth: it's normal to sometimes have to repeat yourself with toddlers. But you also want to establish that you won't repeat yourself until they respond.You might insert an intermediate step where you say something like "Oh, it looks like you're really enjoying your truck right now. I'm going to go get the toothpaste out and give you a few more minutes." It's a back-to-one situation!And remember: just because you repeat yourself or get frustrated with your toddler doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. You're doing the best you can.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we're going through difficult seasons in our lives—illness, death, divorce, tragedy—it feels easier to protect our kids by leaving them out of the conversation. Sara Olsher, founder of Mighty + Bright, says kids don't miss a thing—and that we're missing the opportunity during such times to help our children learn resilience.Sara founded Mighty + Bright after guiding her child through her own divorce and cancer diagnosis. Mighty + Bright provides visual schedules, picture books, and other tools to help parents prioritize mental health for their kids, learning together and incorporating coping skills into their day-to-day lives.In this interview Sara, Margaret, and Amy discuss: How to raise resilience for ourselves and kids What works for families who are in hard seasons Why protecting kids from difficult issues doesn't work Here's where you can find Sara: http://mightyandbright.com @mightyandbrightco Check out all the amazing children's books Sara has written: https://bookshop.org/contributors/sara-olsher We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it mean to have a midlife crisis? What exactly counts as "midlife," and (yikes) are we already in it? Can we avoid the disenchantment and the rash decision-making that stereotypically accompany such times in our lives?A listener in our Facebook group asked:"Who has been thru their midlife crisis and how did you deal? Turning 40 next week has me feeling like I've wasted my life. Can I get over the what-ifs?"In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: How American culture has changed its views on aging Why women and men experience midlife crises differently Why the age of your children might be the thing triggering your crisis Here are links to some of the resources discussed in the episode: Howard P. Chudacoff: How old are you? Age consciousness in American culture Laurence Steinberg: Crossing Paths: How Your Child's Adolescence Triggers Your Own Crisis Mark Jackson: Life begins at 40: the demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events:http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When our children have a brush with danger, we moms love to punish ourselves for what might have happened. So does society at large. Amy tells a listener how to complete her trauma response and move on from a stressful event.A listener on Instagram asked:"How do I move past the mom guilt? I'm the mother to an 18-month-old that loves dogs. We have a rescue. I didn't grow up with dogs. We went for a walk today and came across an informal dog play date that we joined…the dogs were off leash. I asked if it was okay to bring my child, and the other owner said yes. I stupidly at one point let my little one walk away from me.Another dog came to sniff at her, and my dog kicked into full-on protective mode. The first time I'd ever seen that. My little one almost got hurt. We left soon after that and I never let my child out of my arms again. And once I got home, I Googled and saw, no, you should never take a kid to a dog play park.I feel so bad, so ashamed. How do I move on? Amy suggests that this listener is stuck in an incomplete trauma response, which Amelia and Emily Nagoski discuss in their book BURNOUT. It's important, Amy says, to complete the stress cycle, or else you stay stuck in the tunnel (as these authors explain).In our Ditching Mom Guilt episode, we discussed how mom guilt is a result of magical thinking in your primitive brain. If you're the cause of what's going wrong for your kids, you can also be the solution.Amy suggests that gratitude-based meditation of "I am safe now, I am safe now" and extra cuddles with the little one can help complete the stress cycle, along with a healthy dose of self-compassion and conscious uncoupling from the undeserved shame all moms, not dads, are made to feel when their children are perceived to be in danger.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do we as women get accused of too much or too little ambition, but never the right amount?And why are mothers expected to let go of all nonfamilial ambitions once they become parents?Rainesford Stauffer, author of the new book “All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive," started by completely reconsidering the role of ambition in her own life. In this book, she invites us to redefine ambition for ourselves. Going above and beyond doesn't have to the worthiest thing about us.In this interview Rainesford and Amy discuss: How and when Rainesford changed her thoughts around her own ambition How parenting and ambition intersect How to define ambition for yourself Here's where you can find Rainesford: www.rainesfordstauffer.com Twitter: @Rainesford Instagram: @rainesford_stauffer Buy Rainesford's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780306830334 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why don't vacations feel like vacations for moms? Could it be all the prepping, packing, and traveling, with the additional pressure to make memories that will last a lifetime for our little ones?Here's how to make vacations truly fun and relaxing for the whole family. In this episode we discuss the wisdom of "taking turns being tired" why "going with the flow" is not an additive stance to vacation preparation why vacations get better as kids age Here are some links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Marie Holmes for HuffPost: Behind Every Precious Vacation Memory Stands An Exhausted Mother CafeMom: Moms Don't Get to 'Relax' on Family Vacations, For the Husbands Who Don't Get It Colleen Lanin for Travel Mamas: Ain’t Nobody Happy if Mama Ain’t Happy – Tips for Happy Travel with Kids The Onion: Mom Spends Beach Vacation Assuming All Household Duties In Closer Proximity To Ocean We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we help our children transition from pampered baby of the family to middle child? Is the resulting misbehavior going to go on forever?Someone in our Facebook group asked:"My five-year-old became a middle child a few months ago. He is so sweet and loving to his new little sister, but has been acting out: spitting, running around, saying bad things, hitting another kid in his pre-K class. He has been very difficult at home, too. He was never like this before becoming a middle child. Somebody please just tell me this is a phase."Yes, it's just a phase, Margaret assures us, citing her own experience being usurped as the baby of the family when she was five. This acting out is boundary-seeking behavior. When presented with changes in the family dynamic, kids will investigate to see if they can get away with more than they were able to previously. You can make your child feel validated in his frustration, but it's still important to set firm boundaries around unacceptable behavior.Here's the article Margaret suggests: Kate Marple for BabyCenter: Helping your child adjust to a new siblingSpecial thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices