What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist.How do we get our kids to listen to us and do as we ask, without too many tears on either side? Here are some parenting tips for encouraging cooperation in kids (and modeling it ourselves.)Our listener Alison asked:I would love some insight into engaging the cooperation of my two boys, 5 and almost 3 years old. At what age is it reasonable to expect them to put away their toys, stay seated for meals, get in the bath without mind games, and get ready for bed in less than 60 minutes? They are capable, but rarely willing, and 8 out of 10 times it's an ordeal. We have routines, we announce transitions in advance, we give them choices and even try to make it fun, but I feel like I am either haranguing them constantly or seething with resentment or both. Do I just accept this is the season of my life? Is cooperation 2 out of 10 times a victory? Getting kids who are younger than three to "do their share" without a lot of coaxing and singing and clapping is pretty tough. Then when they're about six, kids' "fairness radar" kicks in, and they're much less focused on loading the dishwasher than on complaining about who is not currently helping. So there are roadblocks to kids' cooperation, to be sure, and in this episode we discuss: whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask how "connecting before directing" works for older kids how we can model cooperation and hope our kids get the hint. (It's worth a shot.) Here are links to some other writing and books that we discuss in this episode: Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff Cameron Kleimo for Motherly: How to get your kids to listen—without yelling Shelley Phillips for Lifehack: 6 Secrets to Getting Kids to Cooperate Terry Orlick: Cooperative Games and Sports  Frank McCourt: Angela's Ashes Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What is the happy parenting medium between raising our kids with zero boundaries, and yelling until we're blue in the face? Gwenna Laithland is creator of the wildly popular @mommacusses on TikTok and Instagram, and author of the new book Momma Cusses: A Field Guide to Responsive Parenting & Trying Not to Be the Reason Your Kid Needs Therapy. Gwenna explains in this interview how she eventually found her way to what she calls "responsive parenting." We also discuss: why there's no such thing as a "parenting expert" how responsive parenting helps parents become more intentional, empathetic, and emotionally available how helping kids regulate their emotions has to start with our modeling how to regulate our own . Here's where you can find Momma Cusses: @mommacusses on TikTok and Instagram @thismommacusses on Facebook Pleasant Peasant Media on YouTube buy the MOMMA CUSSES book! https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250882660 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, gentle parenting, responsive parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a disagreement two things can feel like opposites—but it can still be a fact that both things are true.You wish they'd listen; they wish you'd not get so angry.Your kid isn't going to that unsupervised sleepover; your kid is going to be furious about that for weeks.When we start allowing for coexisting differences of opinion—when we stop feeling like the other person can only be super-wrong before we get what we want—something like change can start to occur. The idea that two things can be true dates back to the ancient Greeks, and in this episode, we discuss the history of dialectical thinking why our lizard brains love to overcategorize how we can use the "two things can be true" script in our parenting We're still figuring out how this works for ourselves, but the effort seems well worth it.Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Dr. Becky on Instagram: How to Respond to Pushback With Firmness and Connection Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman: Two Things Can Be True Paul Sonderegger for Quartz: Forget the Turing Test—give AI the F. Scott Fitzgerald Test instead Steven Reidbrd M.D. for Psychology Today: "Dialectics in Psychotherapy" Oakwise Counseling: "Two Opposing Things Can Be True" The poem "Good Bones" by Maggie Smith We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, dialectic thinking, two things can be true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes on birth order and how it can shape both kids' personalities and their relationships with their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites?If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents?And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them.In this episode we discuss: The definition of "adaptive divergence" The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments" At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open!Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Lynn Berger for Mother Mag: "How (Not To) Compare Your Children" Dr. Frank Sulloway: "Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family" Jensen, Alexander C et al. in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence: “Parents' Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model.” Sheryl Ziegler for The Tot: "Why raising your kids differently is actually a good thing" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, birth order, siblings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do kids play differently when they're outside? What are the benefits of unstructured play and giving kids more agency over their leisure time? Ginny Yurich, host of The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast and founder of the 1000 Hours Outside movement, explains why getting our kids outside every day that we can reaps real benefits for kids' physical, cognitive, and social well-being.In this interview Ginny, Amy, and Margaret discuss: the ways time outside benefits kids that you might not have heard of why a few bumps and bruises are worth what kids can learn from taking risks the essential role of friends and community in outdoor play... if you're going to spend a thousand hours outside this year, get a friend with kids who's willing to try it with you! Here's where you can find Ginny: Listen to The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast www.1000hoursoutside.com @1000hoursoutside on all socials Ginny's book UNTIL THE STREETLIGHTS COME ON: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781540903402 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, outside play, outdoor play. outdoor activities for kids, 1000 Hours outside, #1kho Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Were the concerns of Nemo's father actually pretty reasonable? Was Mrs. Doubtfire the bad guy? Were Baby's parents in Dirty Dancing... actually kind of right?We asked our listeners which movies and TV shows they perceive differently as parents, plus a few of our own. We also discuss: which child actor Margaret scarily resembles the weirdest Disney movie of all time, in terms of it ostensibly being aimed at children the one thing that could save every Disney princess problem in five minutes Read the original thread in our Facebook group!mom friends, funny moms, Disney movies, family movies, family programming Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes on birth order and how it can shape both kids' personalities and their relationships with their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. It’s not your imagination: kids raised in the same family really do push in opposite directions– and we mean POLAR opposites, especially for closely-spaced or same-sex siblings. But why the de-identification? And how is it even possible for kids reared in the same environment to be so completely different? In this episode we discuss:  the three theories social scientists have about this phenomenon  why siblings may “evolve” like Darwin’s finches  how “the shy one” in a given family may not be that shy at all- except compared to that outgoing sibling  what parents need to watch out for in terms of leaning in to these (sometimes oversimplified) categories   Here’s links to the fascinating research, and stuff that it reminded us of, discussed in this episode:  Alix Spiegel for NPR: Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities NYT: Each Sibling Experiences a Different Family Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr Denise Daniels: Why are Children in the Same Family So Different From One Another? Dr. Frank Sullaway: Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr. Judy Dunn: Why Are Siblings So Different? The Significance of Differences in Sibling Experiences Within the Family Science Daily: Parents’ Comparisons Make Siblings Different Dr. Alexander Jensen and Dr. Susan McHale: What makes siblings different? The development of sibling differences in academic achievement and interests. Amy’s yin-and-yang sons, born on the Chinese days of Greatest Heat (Dashu) and Deepest Snow (Daxue) the hilarious book Hyperbole and a Half, with its “Hot Sauce” reminder of what happens when we lean too hard into what we maybe only *think* are our children’s defining characteristics and our own episode discussing birth order and how it shapes our kids’ personalities. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, birth order, siblings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we make our kids - and ourselves - feel truly listened to in our day-to-day conversations? Charles Duhigg, author of the new book SUPERCOMMUNICATORS, explains how to create meaningful connection in the parent/child relationship. Charles Duhigg is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. He is a staff writer at The New Yorker and was previously a reporter at the New York Times. Charles and Margaret discuss: The three types of conversations and why the distinction among them is important How we can connect with others when we have deep personal disagreements How our communication skills are connected to our happiness Here's where you can find Charles: https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Instagram: @charlesduhigg LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesduhigg FB: @CharlesDuhigg Buy SUPERCOMMUNICATORS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593243916 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we worry about our kids being behind on reaching milestones, that's natural. When we fear it's proof of our own terrible parenting, that's our anxiety taking over. Here's how to reframe kids' development in a way that lessens our mom guilt and feelings of failure: the power of "not yet"Amy and Margaret discuss: Why we feel so anxious when our kids aren't developing the way we think they should How we can show our kids that we believe in them—and why that helps us too Why humans learn more from mistakes than from things we get right Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sarina Natkin: The Power of Not Right Now Leo The Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus TED Talk Tuesday: The Power of Yet Our episode "Growth Mindset" Carol Dweck at TEDxNorrkoping: The power of believing that you can improve Neuroscience News: Mindful Mistakes: How Brains Learn from Errors We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is one of our deep dives on how kids are shaped by their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. Most people believe middle children are prone to feeling insecure and left out because they get less attention. Their primary emotional state? Jealousy of siblings. Studies show that we think these problems are real and inescapable. A City College of New York study found participants were most likely to use words like “overlooked” to describe middle children— while completely unlikely to use the word “spoiled.” Psychologist Dr. Alfred Adler first proposed a “middle child syndrome” in the 1920s, and ever since, most of us have assumed the Jan-Brady worst. But Dr. Adler also believed that middle children’s place in the birth order made them “uniquely poised to succeed.” Are we getting it wrong? Are there lifelong benefits for kids who grow up neither the pressured oldest nor the coddled youngest? In this episode we discuss:  “middleborns” vs “classic middles" the negativity of the “middle child syndrome,” and whether or not it bears out why middle children are more independent and open-minded why middle children have a greater appetite for risk how the “ambient neglect” a middle child sometimes receives can be an incredible gift Writer Adam Sternbergh, himself a middle, says that "being a middle child is not something you aspire to; it’s something that happens to you.” While that may be true, it also turns out that we should perhaps all be jealous of them. Being a middle kid can be secretly great.Here's links to research and other writing on the topic discussed in this episode: Adam Sternbergh for The Cut: The Extinction of the Middle Child Dr. Catherine Salmon: The Secret Power of Middle Children: How Middleborns Can Harness Their Unexpected and Remarkable Abilities Lindsay Dodgson for Business Insider: 'Middle child syndrome' doesn't actually exist — but it still might come with some surprising psychological advantages Risk-taking middle-borns: A study on birth-order and risk preferences Abi Berwager Schreier for Romper: Do Middle Children Really Have More Issues? Jan Brady Wasn't The Only One Alphaparent: Optimum Family Size Facts We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, siblings, middle kid Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices