Dear Sugars

This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018. Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The sinister cycle of dieting and binge-eating plagues many American women. Recently, a counter-movement called Body Positive has sprung up. The movement promotes fat acceptance and attempts to reverse body-shaming, no matter one’s size. But Body Negative is skeptical, writing, “I struggle with how to be body positive after years of being told it’s wrong to be my size and weight. Is there such a thing as unconditional body acceptance?” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. Ms. Kinavey and Ms. Sturtevant present new definitions of health and discuss alternatives to the “dieting mind.” Ms. Kinavey explains that before body acceptance is achievable, “most of us who have experienced a lot of body shame … and weight stigma have healing work to do.” The Sugars Recommend “The Beauty Myth,” by Naomi Wolf “Hunger,” by Roxane Gay “Intuitive Eating,” by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch “10 Reasons Not to Focus on Your Weight in the New Year,” by Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant

Gemma Hartley, journalist and author of Fed Up, sparked a national conversation about emotional labor. She joins a candid discussion of the invisible work behind family life, from scheduling and planning to managing everyone’s needs. The conversation explores resentment, cultural conditioning, shared responsibility, same-sex couples, and how children learn partnership by watching.

Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.

Actor, author, and dyslexia advocate Henry Winkler explores fly fishing, Yiddish, improvisation, parenting, music, and the fleeting poetry of performance. Poet, author, and educator Saeed Jones discusses poetry’s power to restore language, hold grief and beauty together, and welcome every reader. Plus, personalized poetry prescriptions offer a path toward steadiness.

Peter Sagal, writer, humorist, and longtime NPR personality, reflects on wedding poems, divorce, duty, and the everyday grace of his children. Poet and Harvard professor Stephanie Burt traces her path from Star Trek and science fiction to poetry, then explores Taylor Swift as a bridge to Alexander Pope and literary tradition. Poetry prescriptions from Rilke and Mary Oliver round out this lively exploration of belonging.

Comedian and filmmaker Mike Birbiglia, poet J. Hope Stein, and Oxford educator Peter Kessler explore the lively crossroads of poetry and comedy. Birbiglia and Stein discuss parenting, surprise, silliness, and finding the holy in everyday chaos. Kessler offers a vivid masterclass in metaphor, imagination, and teaching students to turn sensory details into emotionally honest language.

We have something really special for you: a sneak preview of a new series we've been working on here at WBUR that we think you, in particular, will love. It's called You Could Make This Beautiful, and if that phrase sounds vaguely familiar, it's because it comes from the virally famous poem "Good Bones" by poet Maggie Smith. You Could Make This Beautiful is co-hosted by Maggie Smith and Faith Salie, whom you may know from NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! or CBS News Sunday Morning. The show is about making life more beautiful, but it's not about telling you how to do that; it's about showing you the way with poetry in all its forms — music, art, nature, you name it. The episodes feature poets, yes, but also actors like Henry Winkler, comedians like Mike Birbiglia, and teachers like Saeed Jones. We've made 3 episodes of You Could Make This Beautiful — so far, at least — and we'll be dropping all three of them right here in this feed, on August 7th. In the meantime, here's a little teaser, straight from Maggie and Faith. Enjoy, stay tuned, and you, too, could make this beautiful.

This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017. The term "ghosting" isn't a new concept anymore—the idea that someone suddenly and inexplicably disappears from your life. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But at a time when our devices have made us more accessible than ever, this can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. The Sugars discuss ghosting with the essayist and cartoonist Tim Kreider. He's the author of We Learn Nothing, a collection of essays that includes a story about being ghosted by a childhood friend.

Pam Houston, memoirist and fiction writer of the American West, shares her life on a Colorado ranch. She talks about leaving the East, how landscape and light can feel like belonging, negotiating love and distance, and the practical tussles of choosing where to build a life. Short reflections on travel, compromise, and the slow work of making a place feel like home.

Maria Bello, actress and activist who identifies as sexually fluid and wrote about her modern family, joins to talk about shifting sexual desires and flexible identities. Short conversations explore evolving partnerships, parenting during transitions, and navigating shame and honesty in love. The tone is candid, compassionate, and practical.