

Paternal
Nick Firchau
Paternal is a show about the brotherhood of fatherhood. Created and hosted by Nick Firchau, a longtime journalist and podcast producer, Paternal offers candid and in-depth conversations with great men who are quietly forging new paths in fatherhood. Listen as our diverse and thoughtful guests – a world-renowned soccer star in San Diego, a Oglala Sioux elder in South Dakota, a New York Knicks barber in Queens, a pioneering rock DJ in Seattle and many more - discuss the models of manhood that were passed down to them, and how they're redefining those models as they become fathers themselves.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Mar 23, 2022 • 35min
#57 Paternal Workshop: The Masculinity Trap
Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the third in a series of special episodes examining various issues affecting men's mental health. In this episode, Dr. Addis calls on his decades of research to break down the links between social learning and the social construction of masculinity, and why he considers masculinity a form of anxiety disorder for some men. Dr. Addis also explains how and when young boys are first exposed to the ideas of masculinity, how the perception of masculinity has changed over the years, and why living up to a constantly evolving ideal of masculinity can be a problem for some men. Dr. Addis is an award-winning research psychologist and a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Mar 9, 2022 • 38min
#56 Max Lowe: Daddy's On The Mountain
One world-renowned climber dies and leaves a widow and three young sons behind, and his climbing partner and best friend helps pick up the pieces by marrying the widow and helping raise a trio of boys who lost their father. Among the world's mountaineers, climbers and explorers, the life and tragic death of Alex Lowe is nothing short of legend. For newcomers hearing the story for the first time, it's a fascinating examination of circumstance and fate, love lost and then rediscovered. But for Max Lowe - who was just 10 years old when his father died in an avalanche high in the Himalayas - it's a complicated reality he's dealt with for more than 20 years. On this episode of Paternal, Max discusses his life as the son of one of the world's greatest climbers, memories of his father Alex, the uncomplicated psychology of the mountaineers who take frightening risks, and what it was like to make the acclaimed 2021 documentary Torn, which forced Max and his family to confront more than two decades of grief and repressed emotions surrounding the sudden loss of a real-life superhero. Torn is currently streaming on Disney Plus, and you can read more about the film and the legacy of Alex Lowe in the Los Angeles Times, Outside, and The New Yorker. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Feb 23, 2022 • 37min
#55 Daniel José Older: Fatherhood In A Galaxy Far, Far Away
Daniel José Older was three years old when he caught his first glimpse of the characters who occupied the Star Wars galaxy, and he was so frightened he made a run for the exit of the movie theater. But Older - now a New York Times bestselling fantasy and sci-fi author - went back in, and his life has never been the same. Older is a lead story architect for Star Wars: The High Republic, a series of young adult and middle grade novels and comic books, and he's keenly aware that most of the Star Wars characters, especially the most prominent male heroes, either have a strained relationship with their father, or simply don't have a dad at all. On this episode of Paternal, Older discusses why there never seem to be many parents in the Star Wars galaxy, why he gravitated to the series after never seeing protagonists who looked like him as a kid, his mother's penchant for magical storytelling after fleeing Cuba, and how he thinks about the Jedi-like skill of compassionate detachment, especially now that he's recently become a father himself. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Feb 9, 2022 • 40min
#54 Mickey Rowe: The World Needs What Makes You Different
Mickey Rowe has made a career out of one simple motto: The world needs what makes you different. An autistic actor who started out as a street performer in Seattle but was never given speaking roles in the theater during his 20s, Rowe eventually earned the lead role in the theater adaptation of the Tony Award-winning play The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. In the process Rowe became the first autistic actor to play the demanding lead role of Christopher Boone, a teenager on the spectrum who is convinced he can solve the murder of his neighbor's dog. On this episode of Paternal, Rowe reflects on his life on the autistic spectrum and what role autism played in his drive to become an actor, as well as the complicated relationship Hollywood has with portraying characters who are disabled. He also discusses what fatherhood looks like as an autistic father of an autistic son, and how he's learned to cast aside expectations about parenthood and embrace why his experience as a father is different from so many other men. Rowe is the founding Artistic Director of National Disability Theatre and his memoir, Fearlessly Different, will be released in March. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Jan 26, 2022 • 37min
#53 Brendan Kiely: Reckoning With Our White Privilege
Author and teacher Brendan Kiely has spent years speaking to young adults about the difficult issues they might face in their teen years, and he's in awe of the amount of hope that lies within the next generation. But after seemingly endless recent incidents of police brutality against African American men and the centuries of racism that came before, he's writing for young adults about what it means to live with the benefits of white privilege. And he's figuring out how to start the same conversation with his young son. In this episode of Paternal, Kiely discusses the themes covered in his 2021 book The Other Talk, the book's reception during a time of fraught culture wars, and why the traits of humility and vulnerability are so essential to having better conversations about race, especially among men. Kiely is a New York Times bestselling author of five books and a former English and literature teacher in New York City, and prior to writing The Other Talk he co-wrote the award-winning and critically acclaimed young adult fiction novel All American Boys. To hear additional episodes from Paternal about "The Talk," check out Episode 5 and Episode 12. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Jan 12, 2022 • 38min
#52 Waubgeshig Rice: The Pressure In My Head
Growing up on the Wasauksing First Nation indigenous reserve in Ontario, journalist and bestselling author Waubgeshig Rice learned early in his life about the value of culture and community. But as an Anishinaabe young man schooled in the challenges his ancestors faced as indigenous people in Canada, Rice was also keenly aware of what happens when a community loses its connection to its history, traditions and culture, and how men can easily fall victim to the effects of intergenerational trauma. On this episode of Paternal, Rice recounts his experience on Wasauksing First Nation and his sometimes conflicted emotions about growing up on the reserve, as well as the challenges his own father faced in trying to reclaim the family's Anishinaabe identity. Rice - who penned the celebrated apocalyptic thriller Moon of the Crusted Snow and was dubbed "one of the leading voices reshaping North American science fiction, horror and fantasy" by the New York Times - also discusses the emotional strain he experienced after the complicated birth of his first son, and how masculinity and vulnerability are valued on "the rez." Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Dec 22, 2021 • 22min
#51 Paternal Workshop: Holiday Anxiety and New Year's Resolutions
Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the second in a series of special episodes examining various issues in men's mental health, and the final episode of Paternal for 2021. In this episode, Dr. Addis discusses a variety of issues brought on by the holiday season, including anxiety, stress, loneliness, and why we create a mythology around the holidays that can be tough to live up to year after year. Dr. Addis also discusses the value of New Year's resolutions, and why men typically focus on fixing their bodies and their bank accounts instead of maintaining male friendships or making new ones in order to improve their mental health. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Dec 8, 2021 • 39min
#50 Ivan Maisel: Love And Grief
Former Sports Illustrated and ESPN journalist Ivan Maisel spent the bulk of his life holding big emotions at bay, and turning to run at the first sign of emotional pain. It was behavior learned from years of watching his parents, who valued strength and stoicism in the face of tragedy, which Maisel himself successfully dodged for 55 years. Then his son Max went missing, and everything changed. On this episode of Paternal, Maisel discusses his 2021 memoir I Keep Trying To Catch His Eye and reflects on his role as a father to Max, who struggled with social anxiety and resided "somewhere on the learning disorder spectrum." Maisel strained at times to connect with his son and leaned heavily on empathy and a hope that Max would one day find his people, and his place in the world. But when that expectation goes unfulfilled, how will Maisel cope with the kinds of emotions he's been running from for years? Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Nov 17, 2021 • 37min
#49 Iain Cunningham: My Mother's Ghost
Documentary filmmaker and father Iain Cunningham knows all about the myths we like to tell ourselves about family. But he knows just as much about the details our parents sometimes leave out, and the impact those family secrets can have on children who never learn the truth. Cunningham's mother Irene passed away when he was just three years old, and his family rarely spoke or shared memories of her for decades, leaving Iain to wonder what kind of person his mother was, and what exactly led to her death. On this episode of Paternal, Cunningham discusses why his father kept the details of Irene's life and death a secret, and why becoming a father himself helped inspire him to trace his mother's footsteps through the English town where he grew up. He filmed the entire experience and eventually released the documentary Irene's Ghost, a celebrated love letter to his mother and a touching examination of the complicated relationship between father and son. Learn more about where you can watch the film Irene's Ghost. rent or buy it on Itunes or watch on Amazon Prime. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Nov 3, 2021 • 41min
#48 Omar Mouallem: Faith and Fatherhood
Journalist and filmmaker Omar Mouallem first learned he was Muslim when his mother scolded him for eating Hawaiian pizza during preschool. Over the past three decades he's tried to make sense what exactly his faith means to him and how he identifies as Muslim as grown man and a father, punctuated with the release of his acclaimed 2021 examination of Islam's role in the Americas, Praying to the West. On this episode of Paternal, Mouallem reflects on his Lebanese parents and the moment he realized he and his family were outsiders in a small town in Western Canada, and what it meant to see Middle Easterners regularly portrayed as terrorists when he was a kid parked in front of cable television. He also discusses how the recent rise of Islamophobia in Canada and the United States forced him to examine his faith more closely, and what role faith will play in the lives of his two young children. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.


