Paternal

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss how male group dynamics work, and what happens when one guy crosses the line. He also explains why some men lean on misogyny or homophobia in order to win over a crowd of new male friends, and the stakes for everyone involved. He also introduces the concept of TRAP (trigger, response, avoidance pattern) and why it's crucial for men to identify what kind of events serve as triggers in their life, as well as how to incrementally improve their responses over time. Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Even before his third birthday, Chris Ballew was transfixed by music. He would sit on the floor in his parents' Seattle-area home and listen to The Beatles' seminal 1967 album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and not long after he was writing and performing his own songs. By the mid-90s he was fronting the Presidents of the United States of America - one of the hottest bands in rock'n'roll - and appearing regularly on MTV. But he was quietly harboring a secret: "On a gut level, I wanted out immediately." On this episode of Paternal from 2020, Ballew looks back at his early experiences with fame, and examines the instinct that led him to leave modern rock behind to take on a new stage presence: celebrated children's musician Caspar Babypants. Ballew has released 17 albums and been nominated for a Grammy during his career as Caspar, all driven by a desire to imbue his music with the same lyrical elements he found in the music of the Beatles, and to help weary parents make it through the day. Songs Featured In This Episode: Spider John - Caspar Babypants A Day In The Life - The Beatles Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - Caspar Babypants Naked and Famous - The Presidents of The United States of America Kick Out The Jams - The Presidents of The United States of America Sun Go - Caspar Babypants (featuring Frances England) Nap In The Afternoon - Caspar Babypants Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Steve Leder is a husband, father, bestselling author and, as the senior rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, one the most influential religious leaders in America. During his 35 years at Southern California's oldest synagogue he has proven to be something of an expert in the human experience, and overseen not just regular services at the temple, but also countless weddings - including that of his friend and Academy Award winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin - and his fair share of funerals, of which he has performed more than a thousand in his career. Not bad for the son of a junkman from Minnesota. On this episode of Paternal, Leder reflects on what he's learned about fathers and sons over the years and why men struggle when they face adversity alone, as well as the life and legacy of his own dad and how he's tried to become a better father himself. He also discusses his 2022 book For You When I Am Gone, which includes a dozen essential questions Leder asked 40 people to better understand how they define love, what makes them happy, and what decisions they regret most in their lives. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Back in early 2018, Jason Kander was riding high as one of the brightest young stars in American politics. After becoming the youngest statewide elected official in the nation and nearly toppling a Republican incumbent for a U.S. Senate seat from his native Missouri, Kander was invited to meet with Barack Obama, where the former president personally encouraged Kander to one day consider his own run for the White House, telling Kander, "You have what I had. You're the natural." But Kander's public presidential aspirations were derailed by a private battle with symptoms of PTSD, a result of service as an intelligence officer in the U.S. Army in Afghanistan. He struggled with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and eventually crippling bouts of shame as he finally confronted his diagnosis, and he quietly wished he could be a better husband to his wife, Diana, and better father to his son, True. On this episode of Paternal, Kander reflects on how he spent years in denial of the trauma that thwarted his political aspirations and damaged his personal life, how he used feelings of shame and anger to gain control of his life, and how therapy helped him reimagine what a man - and a father - is supposed to be. Kander's new memoir, Invisible Storm, is available now. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Jesse Thistle is an assistant professor at York University in Toronto and an award-winning memoirist who wrote the top-selling Canadian book in 2020, but his success didn't come easily. Prior to penning his celebrated emotional memoir From the Ashes, Thistle spent years struggling with issues of addiction and homelessness, a lifestyle he sees to some degree as the result of the absence of a father figure in his life. His own father was an addict and a thief who disappeared nearly 40 years ago, and no one has seen or heard from him since. But how much of his father's troubles can be traced back to the generations of men who came before him? On this previous episode of Paternal from 2021, Thistle wrestles with the myths he's been told about his father, discusses how his own indigenous heritage contributed to years spent living on the streets of Canada, and breaks down the manifestations of intergenerational trauma, including addiction, abuse, homelessness, and crime. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

The new dads have spoken, and they want some help. So in honor of those men celebrating Father's Day for the first time this year, Paternal welcomes back four favorite guests from the past to offer advice on how to survive those early days of parenthood, including what they did right, what they did wrong, and what lessons they learned in the process of becoming a father. Guests on this special episode include New York Times chief theater critic Jesse Green, entrepreneur Jelani Memory, author Waubgeshig Rice, and journalist and screenwriter Chris Jones. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

A number of years ago, the dean at the Honors College at Towson University in Maryland went on the prowl for ideas for new seminar courses at the college. Andrew Reiner wasted no time in offering an idea for a seminar on a subject that he says has become a compulsion in his life: Masculinity. What if the school offered a course where he could work with students to deconstruct our ideas around masculinity and what it looks like now for a new generation of college students, men and women? On this episode of Paternal, Reiner discusses the course "The Changing Face of Masculinity," as well as some of the most compelling findings in his 2020 book Better Boys Better Men, including why boys are struggling with a crisis of masculinity, how their ideas of masculinity hold them back in the classroom, and why their penchant for competition inhibits their ability to build trust among male peers, even in adulthood. Reiner, a father himself, has also written about men's issues for the New York Times, Washington Post, and Forbes. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

After a particularly feverish Twitter rant in 2018 landed him an invite to write a guest opinion on boys and violence from The New York Times, Michael Ian Black had to ask one simple question: Are you sure you want me? After all, Black is best known as a sketch and standup comic, and a particularly snarky one at that. But he wrote the essay and it subsequently went viral, leading Black to eventually pen the 2020 memoir A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter To My Son, which offers a candid take on his own boyhood, the death of his father, and why he's concerned for his own son's future. On this episode of Paternal, Black recounts his adolescent experience of desperately seeking all the secrets of manhood, why he tinged his own successful brand of humor with defensive sarcasm, why even the most influential male comics rarely delve into painful vulnerability, and where he failed and succeeded as a father to his two children. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Of all the guests on Paternal over the years, it's safe to say that Akhil Sharma was the last guy who would have expected to appear on a podcast about fatherhood. Over the past three decades he carved out a nice life as an Ivy League educated investment banker, and then a successful writer and college professor. Fatherhood never really entered the equation because, in his mind, he was worthless when it came to what he could possibly teach a child. On this episode of Paternal, Sharma reflects on some of the complicated family backstory illustrated in his acclaimed 2014 book Family Life, which the New York Times said "reveals how love becomes warped and jagged and even seemingly vanishes in the midst of huge grief." Sharma also discusses how a life-altering accident helped define his relationship with his parents, and influenced why he never considered having children until he was in his late 40s. Sharma is a professor at Duke University and the author of the essay A Passage to Parenthood, which appeared in the The New Yorker earlier this year. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

For centuries, the ends of the Earth have captivated and courted the world's bravest characters. The highest peaks of the Himalayas, the furthest depths of the oceans, and the poles, frozen pinpoints on opposite ends of the globe that still serve as two of the most ambitious destinations for a certain type of person you may have thought died out years ago: The explorers. Eric Larsen is one of those people, a veteran explorer who has not only reached both the geographic north and south poles, but also summited Mount Everest. And in 2009 and 2010 he became the first person in the world to reach all three in the span of 365 days, an endeavor that cemented him as one of the most successful American explorers in recent years. On this replay of his Paternal episode from 2018, Larsen discusses the conflict of being a leading-edge American explorer and an engaged father at the same time, and how he and his wife have worked on the unique elements of their relationship. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.