Gender: A Wider Lens

The founder of the Positive Birth Movement speaks to us about the birthing process and women’s health. A common theme of self-assertion and empowering women to speak up has characterised Milli’s work over the last decade. There were attempts to silence Milli last year when she said that the word “woman” has significance in relation to childbirth. Milli, however, decided to assert her boundaries and speak her truth; in this episode she explains why.   Links: Milli Hill:  https://www.millihill.co.uk/  I will not be silenced: https://www.millihill.co.uk/2021/07/10/i-will-not-be-silenced/  The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill https://www.amazon.co.uk/Positive-Birth-Book-Approach-Pregnancy/  Give Birth like a Feminist by Milli Hill https://www.amazon.co.uk/Give-Birth-Like-Feminist-Milli/    Mumsnet: https://www.mumsnet.com/   Birth: A History by Tina Cassidy  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Birth-History-Tina-Cassidy/    #BirthJustHappened: https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/birthjusthappened/?hl=en [Text Wrapping Break] The Business of Being Born: https://www.amazon.com/Business-Being-Born-Helen-Ayres/dp/B001IIHAGK[Text Wrapping Break] Jane Hardwick Collings & Female Rights of Passage: https://janehardwickecollings.com/[Text Wrapping Break] Birth & Sex (Book):  https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Sex-Sheila-Kitzinger/dp/1780660502  Project Netti: https://projectnettie.wordpress.com/   Panics and Persecutions – Quillette book https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=panics+and+persecutions   Extended NotesA little bit about Milli and why she decided to start the Positive Birth Movement.What were some common themes coming up for women who were about to give birth?The birth room was built with the needs of the midwife and doctor in mind, not for the women in mind.Sasha shares her experiences with an American hospital vs. an overseas one.So many mothers are not listened to when they’re at the hospital. Their wishes are ignored.Milli is passionate about everyone having a positive birth experience, no matter the context or environment they choose to be in.You don’t have to just “go with the flow” when it comes to giving birth. You have the right to choose.Meghan Markle got attacked... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Carole Hooven, Ph.D., is lecturer and co-director of undergraduate studies in the Department of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard University. She earned her Ph.D. at Harvard, studying sex differences and testosterone, and has taught there ever since. Hooven has received numerous teaching awards, and her popular Hormones and Behavior class was named one of the Harvard Crimson’s “top ten tried-and-true.”In this episode, Stella and Sasha talk to Carole about her new book, Testosterone, which explores the powerful impact this sex hormone has on the human body. This discussion revolves around a central theme: to make the world a better place, we must be willing to understand the harsh realities of our mammalian nature and take into account the biological drives behind our behavior.Links:Carole Hooven:Twitter: twitter.com/hoovlet?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor www.carolehooven.com/Carole’s Book: us.macmillan.com/books/9781250236067Carole’s Link Tree: linktr.ee/CaroleHooven Stella’s Review: www.standard.co.uk/culture/books/testosteronedr-carole-hooven-review-b941337.html   Katie Herzog’s piece in Barri Weiss’s substack:  bariweiss.substack.com/p/what-happens-when-doctors-cant-speak bariweiss.substack.com/p/med-schools-are-now-denying-biological Extended NotesA little bit about Carole and her experience.Carole talks about her book, T: The Story of Testosterone, The Hormone That Dominates and Divides Us.When Carole was in Uganda studying chimps, she always knew that if she was working with only females, her day would be pretty relaxed. It’s when the males came to play, however, that she had a full day on her hands.Carole witnessed a male chimp viciously and brutally beat a female chimp who wanted nothing more than to protect her child. It was shocking to watch.Carole breaks down the importance of testosterone and estrogen in our bodies.Males resolve conflict much more quickly than females. There is a reason why there is a hierarchy and it benefits the entire pack to know who’s who.What did Carole discover when she interviewed a wide variety of people going through testosterone procedures?Carole found some fascinating things. People who were living as biological women and hated being objectified, now transitioned into men, found themselves having urges to objectify women.Our nurture can be significantly modeled. The power of our environment can shape our nature.What is CAH and why do women who have this tend to have more male-oriented positions?Just witness how boys vs. girls play with one another. There is a reason for this act in play between the sexes. This crosses all cultures and is even witnessed in animals.Carole shares her insights about gay men and their sexual patterns.Knowledge is power. Carole is passionate about this because it’s important to know how we work on a biological level. We think if we... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

We invite parents and children to listen to this episode together. Stella and Sasha alternate between the perspectives of the parent and their dysphoric child and attempt to translate what each may be thinking and feeling when communicating about gender identity becomes difficult. Discussing the emotions, the inner motivations, and the thoughts parents and children might experience when gender related distress hits the family, we hope that this episode might begin to build bridges between parents and young people and foster more empathy in the parent-child dyad.   Links Cat Stephens: Father and Son https://youtu.be/P6zaCV4niKk WB Yeats: The Mask http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/800/   This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Sasha and Stella tackle the complex subject of suicide. They reflect on the many emotional and relational difficulties involved and parse out the differences between suicide risk and suicidal ideation. While terrifying, it sometimes offers an escape fantasy and desire for control, making suicide an existential issue. Furthermore, they point to the stark lack of data available relating to gender dysphoria and suicidality and discuss how the fear of suicide is used against families wishing to safeguard their children.   If you wish to speak to someone about any issues that arose during this please contact the Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/  Links:Assist Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training: https://www.youth.ie/training/asist-applied-suicide-intervention-skills-training/  Media guidelines: https://www.samaritans.org/ireland/about-samaritans/media-guidelines/ Kurt Cobain https://www.newsweek.com/did-kurt-cobains-death-lower-suicide-rate-1994-244332 Robin Williams https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/talking-about-men/201908/robin-williams-death-and-subsequent-suicide-contagion  Dhejne C, Lichtenstein P, Boman M, Johansson ALV, Långström N, et al. (2011) Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden. PLOS ONE 6(2):e16885. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0016885 https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885  The Trans Trains 2 (Swedish documentary with subtitles): ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73-mLwWIgwU Michael Biggs on suicie: Attempted suicide by American LGBT adolescents https://4thwavenow.com/tag/michael-biggs/  Mum's fury after transgender suicide teen sold hormones from illegal online clinic https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/transgender-treatment-nhs-webberley-jayden-16504026  Transgender Trend: Suicide Facts and Myths: https://www.transgendertrend.com/the-suicide-myth/  Philip Larkin: This be the verse https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse    Extended NotesThis episode... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Stella and Sasha sit down with Jessie Mannisto, the Editor in Chief of Third Factor Magazine, a publication for and about uncommon people and their uncommon paths through life. Jessie expands on the many overlapping experiences of gifted, creative, intense, and gender dysphoric individuals. They explore some critiques and uses of terms like ‘queer’ and ‘asexual.’ Stella and Sasha ask Jessie about androgyny, loneliness, ordinariness, and exceptionalism in dysphoria people. And what’s up with anime and fan fiction amongst gender-questioning youth? Links:Jessie Mannisto on Sasha’s YouTube Channel Disintegration as an Opportunity for Growth:  Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGBcqT6h0Pw&t=1081s  Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFKpuoR9-zg&t=2s   Where Intensity and Gender Dysphoria Meet:  https://www.thirdfactor.org/intensity-gender-dysphoria  Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals:https://www.sengifted.org/post/existential-depression-in-gifted-individuals  Rainforest mind - Paula Prober:  https://www.amazon.com/Your-Rainforest-Mind-Well-Being-Gifted/dp/0692713107  Hilary Jacobs Hendel - https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Always-Depression-Authentic/dp/0399588140  Creativity https://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Psychology-Discovery-Invention-Perennial-ebook/dp/B000TG1X9C  Third Factor Magazine: https://www.thirdfactor.org/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/thirdfactormag?lang=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThirdFactorMag/   Extended NotesA little bit about Jessie and how she got involved in the field of giftedness and overexcitability.Jessie noticed a connection between gender dysphoric people and giftedness.What is the definition of “giftedness”?There are five domains or key areas where you can be gifted: Intellect, imagination, psychomotor, sensory, and emotions.How do these domains manifest into those who are extremely gifted?Although not a reliable measure, overexcitability is often linked to giftedness. One of the ways people tried to test for giftedness was through overexcitability, but it was not conclusive.What is the “hedgehog dilemma”?The more that you’re an outlier, the more you try to seek out people who are like you to confirm that you’re “okay” and not abnormal.Belonging is the biggest issue for these types of people.What is a “magnet” school?Most gifted people know they’re difficult and can be hard to manage. Jessie believes some of these... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Are stereotypes always harmful? Should we use stereotypes to predict and impose behaviors and preferences onto others? Some people believe transgender identities defy stereotypes while others believe they reify them. And where does stereotyping come from? This is a mental shortcut with complex roots and crucial implications for the gender debates.Links:Carole Hooven: Testosterone: The Story of the Hormone that dominates and Divides Us  Noam Shpancer: Stereotype Accuracy: A displeasing truth Extended NotesThere are so many stereotypes in this space. What’s the right definition of gender dysphoria? The DMS is just riddled with stereotypes.Stella reads out the DMS description of gender dysphoria.The first six descriptors of gender dysphoria in the DMS are very stereotypical. It’s fixed with what a boy should play vs. what a girl should play.Why are pink colors “girlish” and why are blue colors “boyish”?What are some common stereotypes about women? Or even Irish people?What frustrates Stella the most about stereotypes?Stereotypes are always framed as harmful in this community, yet they also use them extensively. It’s a bit of a contradiction.These stereotypes really do come from somewhere. There’s a reason why these exist.Stella and Sasha compare their culture and differences.Our brains use stereotypes to keep us safe.Both sides are claiming they’re breaking the stereotypes down, but are they?There are girls who are wearing makeup and are in girls’ clothing, but they are saying they identify as trans guys. What’s going on? It’s a huge mind pretzel.It’s confusing, they say “treat me like a man,” but what does that mean if it’s outside of a stereotype?There’s a mix between medical and rebellion language and, when it comes to gender, this is very scary.If you call a phone a duck and still call a duck a duck, what the heck are we actually talking about?Free speech is everything and trying to control or change speech, even in its respect to gender, is dangerous.Stereotypes have a certain level of efficiency towards understanding what another person means.Kids are resident stereotypes all the time, but they also seek out edgy and cool ones to be a part of. Their own tribe, if you will.When they feel like a stereotype is “off-limits,” Sasha wonders how that can impact the development stages of a child if they feel like they can’t be whole or have to shun parts of their identity to fit in.There’s a subcategory of feminists who feel driven to be sexually liberated and proud to sleep with multiple, multiple people, but Stella and Sasha ask questions on why that is.This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:Rethinkime.orgLearn more about our show: Linktr.ee/WiderLensPod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Heather Brunskell-Evans is a philosopher and sociologist who studies the intersection of medicine and culture. She joins us today to trace the ways in which queer theory evolved in academia and moved into the broader culture, including the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) in the UK. Explaining how a social justice angle is key to the ‘affirmative model’ of care for gender dysphoria, Heather recounts a few key moments when she realized there were authoritarian elements at play in silencing thought and conversation around the topic of transgender, even for parents trying to protect their children.Links:Heather’s Website  http://www.heather-brunskell-evans.co.uk/  Transgender Children and Young People: Born in Your Own Body https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-0398-4  Inventing Transgender Children and Young People  https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-3638-8  Transgender Body Politics  http://www.heather-brunskell-evans.co.uk/thoughts/transgender-body-politics/  Heather on Twitter https://twitter.com/brunskellevans  The History of Sexuality https://www.amazon.com/History-Sexuality-Vol-Introduction/dp/0679724699  Janice Raymond, The Transsexual Empire https://janiceraymond.com/the-transsexual-empire/  Vanity Fair Cover https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-bruce-cover-annie-leibovitz  Moral Maze http://www.heather-brunskell-evans.co.uk/tag/moral-maze/  Heather Brunskell Evans opinion piece for Leicester University   https://www2.le.ac.uk/offices/press/think-leicester/arts-and-culture/2015/neo-liberalism-masculinity-and-femininity-caitlyn-jenner-and-the-politics-of-transgender   Extended NotesHeather has been working in this field since the very beginning --Since the early 1990s. Heather shares a bit about her background and how she got started. The moment Heather discovered medical intervention for transgender children in 2016, her work has not been the same since. Why did Heather decide to do her PhD in child sexual abuse? Technically, we don’t actually have any human or social rights. What research did Heather discover when she was doing her PhD in queer theory? Heather describes what post-structuralism is. We are a byproduct of the culture we live in, This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Sasha and Stella answer listener questions… again! They start by highlighting recent episodes inspired by listener feedback. Next, they discuss the financial implications and complexities involved in adult children using their parents’ medical insurance. They reflect on the different roles that can emerge between mothers and fathers of gender dysphoric youth. Other questions address the similarities between body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, OCD, and other ruminative anxieties.Links:Activist Perspective on Body Dysmorphia & Gender Dysphoria Austenhartke.com/blog/2015/5/19/o08szlrrhc8jaasya9s285qenydpy6  Homosexual OCD: Centerforanxietydisorders.com/treatment-programs/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/hocd/  Trans OCD: Treatmyocd.com/blog/transgender-ocd-symptoms-and-treatment Aaron Kimberly on Benjamin Boyce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcjBDi-ZRLA  Bryony Gordon, Mad Girl, book about OCD Amazon.co.uk/Mad-Girl-Bryony-Gordon/dp/1472232089 Suicidality in Body Dysmorphic Disorder Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2361388/Extended NotesA little update on what topics Stella and Sasha have in the pipeline!This is the second episode where Stella and Sasha answer listener questions!How do you manage the costs of gender? This listener asked her daughter to pay for her own gender medical expenses.When does it make sense for parents to accept where their child is in life?This parent wants to support her child through her journey, but she also doesn’t want to pay for something she disagrees with.If the parent is paying for it, then she should be able to look at the bills she’s paying for. If her child does not want her to see the medical procedures, then she must take ownership of those costs.This parent needs to remind her daughter about all the ways she is happy to support her necessities. Basic food, shelter, and safety. How she has done so since she was a child. Sometimes children need the reminder. She also has three other children to consider and it makes sense why she might be hesitant to spend large resources on one when an emergency could happen to another one.When do you know you’re enabling your child?The fact insurance covers so many of these medical procedures is very shocking. They have an allure that they’re safe to do. They’re not!Next listener question! How does a man, who works in a blue-collared field, tell his friends that his son wants to be a girl?Stella has noticed that those who attend support groups for their transitioning children, 95% of them are mothers. Where are the men?No matter what happens to your child, look after your marriage. You are stronger together.Men are often suffering in their own private way. They express themselves differently than women do.At the end of the day, the body is real, you’re born with it, and it’s here to stay.What is homosexual OCD or transgender OCD?This is a bit of a chicken/egg question. Can spending a lot of time on the... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Jungian Analyst Bob Withers joins us to discuss the differences between gay conversion therapy and gender identity conversion therapy.  We examine the possibility of misinformed therapists “transing the gay away” and suggest that perhaps the dark history of conversion therapy may not be over. Bob delves into his view of psychosomatic symptoms and draws on his background in philosophy and medical history to understand our current fixation with one’s subjective sense of identity. Bob also defines what he calls “detrans-phobic” responses to the experiences of detransitioners.Links:Winnicott: http://web-facstaff.sas.upenn.edu/~cavitch/pdf-library/Winnicott_PsycheSoma.pdf Dr Az Hakeem: http://www.drazhakeem.com/publications/ Vsauce Video: The Power of Suggestion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDCcuCHOIyY&feature=emb_title Safeguard evidence-based therapy for children struggling with gender dysphoria:  https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/582083?fbclid=IwAR39py7JJnyxPe_cqQZAIUPBRt5E3wZ4MjvoryWBOdyGjuXVp2qRq0o3YVk Transgender Medicalization and the attempt to evade psych distress: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1468-5922.12641  The Seventh Penis: towards effective psychoanalytic work with pre-surgical transexuals  https://www.thesap.org.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Withers-2015-Journal_of_Analytical_Psychology.pdf Cambridge Books:  Transgender Children and Young People: Born in Your Own Body:  https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-0398-4 Inventing Transgender Children:  https://cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-3638-8 One Size Does Not Fit All: In Support of Psychotherapy for Gender Dysphoria https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-020-01844-2 Extended NotesA little bit about Bob and his work. Bob met a biological man, now a woman, who wanted to detransition. He realized that becoming a woman did not solve his psychological problems. This was in 1990. Bob’s work would later spark a new set of clients and now Bob sees parents and gender dysphoria teens. How were the narrates about gender different back then? Bob’s first detransition client was attacked and vilivided by the community. He tried to write books about it, but the only way to get the bullying to stop was to say he made up the whole thing. This was the first time Bob saw de-trans phorbia. We know the mind through introspection, but we actually know the body This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

As they wrap up their initial Behind the Curtain series , Sasha and Stella discuss important issues surrounding the termination of therapy. How do we know when the therapeutic process should end? Does a resolution of gender dysphoria mean it’s time to end the therapeutic relationship? Does the start of a medical transition indicate a good time to end? And how can therapists leave the door open for a client who may want to return at a later date?  Extended Notes● When a long-term client leaves. It can be a bittersweet moment.● If the therapy process is working well, the client should be proactive in how they’re building new connections.● Therapy is a lot like riding a bike. You are a little wobbling and then, next thing you know, your training wheels are off!● What do you do when you have a client who has resolved their issues around gender identity, yet other issues are cropping up?● Upon the discovery of certain deeper issues, some clients realize that they cannot trust themselves.● Sasha has seen her clients feeling ashamed for their prior thinking.● Some of Stella’s clients wished the whole event didn’t happen. Well, it did. Let’s forgive ourselves a little.● Sometimes what feels like progress and going forward can also sidetrack you and you find yourself going completely sideways. Life gets us like that, but therapy helps us process these changes in a healthy way.● The goal in therapy is not to just help them de-transition. The goal is to help them find the right answers for themselves.● When is it time for a client to leave?● What do you do when you, as a therapist, make a mistake?● Sasha has a lot of her thoughts and opinions online. There have been times clients have read that and disagreed with her, and if the relationship hasn’t been built, this can really hurt progress.● Stella knows it’s ended badly when the client is always on her mind and she’s rethinking of ways to better handle the situation.● Stella is curious to know if people “relapse” with gender the same way people might with food disorders.● Stella has noticed people talking about their feelings of transitioning as if it were a drug.● It can be so frustrating to see a patient not make progress, yet they still keep coming. There must be something there.● Stella also worries for younger patients who use therapy as a crutch. She doesn’t want to create chronic patients.● What do you do when you feel it’s time to terminate the client relationship, but the client still wants to keep going?This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:Rethinkime.orgLearn more about our show: Linktr.ee/WiderLensPod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe