

Gender: A Wider Lens
Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more. www.widerlenspod.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jun 24, 2022 • 14min
Premium: My Child's Online Behavior is Appalling
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

Jun 17, 2022 • 1h 6min
74 - Detransition - Part 1: Going Back & Moving Forward
In today’s episode, Stella and I begin our discussion of detransition. This is an incredibly rich, important, and complex topic, and we certainly don’t think we can lift up EVERY aspect of it. But in this episode, and episode 76 (the one after next), we’ll begin to explore detransition. Today, you’ll hear our initial observations and some random musings. We touch on some of the patterns and dynamics we’ve observed and how things have evolved in the world of detransition over the last several years. We highlight the vast differences between people’s experiences of detransition and how sometimes, the pathway into a trans identity may impact the pathway out. In episode 76, we’ll start diving into the literature and research we now have about detransition. We’ll look at a few important papers, surveys, and studies and what they can tell us about this growing population. Links:Detrans Voices:https://www.detransvoices.org/ Post Trans:https://post-trans.com/ Detrans Canada:https://detranscanada.com/ Detransition Sweden:https://www.detransinfo.se/ Detransition Russia:https://vk.com/detransition GCCANhttps://www.gccan.org/ Detrans Reddit:https://www.reddit.com/r/detrans/ Life Detransitionshttps://lifedetransitions.com/ Genspect (Beyond Transition Initiatives):https://genspect.org/ Beyond Transition:https://genspect.org/beyond/ Blood and Visions:https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/30792924-blood-and-visions Autobiography in Five Chapters:https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/poem-autobiography-in-five-chapters/ Extended NotesStella and Sasha are exploring topics around detransitioning. If you have topic suggestions and even recommended guests, please reach out!Detransitioning is a complex world. There isn’t a simple phenomenon. Stella is working on a program called “Beyond Transition.”Everyone in the trans world is aware there are detransitioners, but they’re wildly misunderstood.Sasha talks about her personal experience with detransitioners.Stella understands in the past that it was very difficult to celebrate with someone who has detransitioned. This new cohort she’s working with is being celebrated.If you feel masculine and/or feminine, you suddenly have to dress for this personality.Sasha has noticed more people becoming more vain. Is this due to social media?What kind of person “suddenly” transitions? Why does someone put so much emphasis on looking female (make-up, hair, etc) only to completely switch?After being in the... This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

Jun 17, 2022 • 14min
Premium: Why Don't Kids Desist from Puberty Blockers?
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Jun 10, 2022 • 14min
Premium: My Son's Trans ID Could be Motivated by Sex
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

Jun 10, 2022 • 59min
73 - Shame, Narcissism, and the Transition Fantasy w/ Joe Burgo
Joe Burgo is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in practice for almost 40 years. He also writes books for a popular audience mostly focused on shame and narcissism. In this episode Joe explains how a sense of shame can be a root cause of gender dysphoria and how gender transition can be idealized as a “cure” for all kinds of shame – gay shame, outsider shame, survivor of sexual abuse shame, feeling weird or different shame, and so on. The impact of the medical model on society is also lifted up as Joe describes how his depth-approach to psychological pain is often dismissed in a world seeking a solution for every problem and a pill for every ill. Resources Joe’s blog: http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/ Joe’s books: Why Do I Do That? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives http://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120 The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me World http://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You-Know-Narcissists-All-About-Me/dp/14767… Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997592028/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF… This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

Jun 3, 2022 • 14min
Premium: Estranged From My Adult Child
Here's the book Stella talked about: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Memoirs-of-an-Unfit-Mother/Anne-Robinson/9780743448987 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

Jun 3, 2022 • 1h 2min
72 - Disenchanted by Transition
This episode was made especially for anybody who might feel a sense of regret or anxiety about their medical transition. This does not mean they should necessarily detransition. Rather, it means that they are undergoing a reckoning with themselves. While some people choose to detransition, others are deeply ambivalent about transition but may feel they are “at a point of no return” and choose to remain in a trans identity. Others may find the detransition process too difficult and disappointing and decide to retransition. Sasha and Stella explore the blurry lines between terms like “transition” “detransition” and “transition regret” and hope to help listeners feel hopeful and find healing beyond these narrow concepts.Links:What I wish I’d known when I was 19 and had sex reassignment surgery, Corinna Cohn: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/04/11/i-was-too-young-to-decide-about-transgender-surgery-at-nineteen/ Hormone Hangover: The Opposite of GD https://hormonehangover.substack.com/p/the-opposite-of-gender-dysphoria?s Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn https://amzn.to/3sGI6qjExtended NotesMake the best decision for yourself at the time.Sasha changes her mind about the argument made by Alice Dreger.Stella shares her experience of working in addiction and her patients’ lost years.Some experiences make a person feel like an outsider in their peer group.The importance of speaking with someone who relates to you.The Beyond Transition project encompasses all the different layers of transition.Transitioning or detransitioning is nobody's business but the individuals.Therapy and practices for the body help people get in tune with their physiology.For those feeling overwhelmed, consider what you can do today, not tomorrow, just today.Learning to be patient and dealing with setbacks requires mental flexibility.Sharing a transition experience can assist others with their journeys.The reasons behind self-destructive behaviors.Navigating the multiple pathways to healing.Tools to understand influence and mitigate self-blame.Stella shares the beautiful story of a woman who detransitioned.Getting back to nature and the calming effects of pets.Only you know what you need. Do what you have to do.This podcast is sponsored by ReIME and Genspect. Visit https://rethinkime.org/ and https://genspect.org/ to learn more.For more about our show: https://linktr.ee/WiderLensPod This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

May 27, 2022 • 12min
Premium: I Think My Child is Desisting
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May 27, 2022 • 60min
71 - Gender: The American State of Affairs with Jesse Singal
Jesse Singal was instrumental in shining a light on the defamation of Dr. Ken Zucker in 2016. Then, two years later, he became even more widely known in the gender world for his seminal, long-form piece in the Atlantic, “When a Child Says She’s Trans.” In this conversation, we discuss flaws in the science of gender dysphoria treatment and the misrepresentation of research findings in the media. We also look at the recent pronouncements from the Biden Administration, new state legislation, and Health and Human Services proposals. We discuss how all of this impacts our understanding of complex issues and shapes the American political landscape around gender today.Links:Jesse’s Recent book: The Quick Fix: Why Fad Psychology Can’t Cure our Social Ills https://amzn.to/3yIVwpn Researchers Found Puberty Blockers And Hormones Didn’t Improve Trans Kids’ Mental Health At Their Clinic. Then They Published A Study Claiming The Opposite. (Updated) https://jessesingal.substack.com/p/researchers-found-puberty-blockers?s=r What the Media Gets Wrong on Gender Reassignment: https://spectatorworld.com/topic/media-wrong-gender-reassignment-transgender/ Civil rights discrimination providers - gender affirming care: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/hhs-ocr-notice-and-guidance-gender-affirming-care.pdf The Cut https://www.thecut.com/2016/02/fight-over-trans-kids-got-a-researcher-fired.html https://www.thecut.com/2016/01/false-charge-helped-bring-down-kenneth-zucker.html When a Child Says She’s Trans: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/when-a-child-says-shes-trans/561749/ Extended NotesJesse explains how he became involved in publishing transgender articles.Journalism allows Jesse to follow a subject to the core of an issue.Before Jesse became known for his Atlantic piece, he was already interested in psychology fads.Stella enjoys self-help books.In his new book, The Quick Fix, Jesse argues that Americans turn to fad psychology because the real problems are too big to be solved.Researchers have been known to give credence to work that does not warrant it.Bad journalism abounds and Jesse often follows up bad stories with the facts.Stella states that maybe the Dutch study should be more thoroughly examined by Jesse.Writing and publishing articles on gender is complicated.Jesse says Republicans are taking the gender issue to the state level.Politicians have no idea of what the real science around the issue is.Sasha asks Jesse if he believes this to be a medical scandal.In 1972, Sweden was the first country to bring in gender recognition.Many studies This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com

May 20, 2022 • 15min
Premium: A College Student Asks About Medicalizing Distress
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