back from the borderline
mollie adler
I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise.By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Mar 20, 2022 • 1h 42min
when your body isn't your own: what abusive relationships and grooming taught me about love
Reflecting on the Euphoria character "Cassie," Evan Rachel Wood's new documentary "Phoenix Rising" (about her alleged struggle with domestic violence, grooming, and sexual assault at the hands of singer Marilyn Manson), and recent events with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West inspired me to sit down and reflect on my own chaotic experiences with grooming, domestic violence and sexual assault throughout my teens and twenties. I realized that the thread that connected all of the chaos was an underlying disconnection from my intuition or "gut feeling." In this episode, we discuss how to reconnect to our sense of inner knowing and how to move forward and heal from toxic connections that we previously thought were love but weren't. Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Warning signs you've lost touch with your intuition (and how this often happens in childhood)■ How I learned to overcome my obsession with seeking male validation■ Sexual grooming (recognizing the signs and my personal experiences)■ How I learned that rape isn’t black and white ■ Rebound relationships & domestic violence (rushing into things too soon before knowing the person)■ My experience meeting my current partner and understanding that true love is “friendship first” (finally finding safety in a relationship)■ Strategies on tapping into our intuition when we’ve lost a connection with it (practical exercises from Martha Beck)Recommended resources:Phoenix Rising Documentary with Evan Rachel WoodThe Gathering Room Podcast5 Steps for Tapping Into Your Intuition (Article by Martha Beck)“Trip Down Intuitive Memory Lane” Exercise (Lesson 3)Intuitive Scoring (Lesson 4)Intuition Conversation with Non Dominant Hand (Lesson 5) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 14, 2022 • 1h 20min
stuff i've learned the hard way so you don't have to (my most powerful recovery lessons)
In my most vulnerable and powerful episode yet, I’m opening up about the hardest, yet most transformative lessons I’ve learned on my recovery journey. Healing from complex trauma and traits of borderline personality can be a painful and isolating path, but I want you to know that hope is real—and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll feel it too. I’m sharing these insights in the way I wish a friend could have shared them with me, and if you’re here, chances are these words are meant for you. We’ll explore the challenges and breakthroughs in friendships and intimate relationships, uncovering what it means to truly set boundaries and deepen connections. I’ll discuss the role of spirituality, social media, and the importance of reconnecting with our bodies as part of reclaiming our true selves. Together, we’ll reflect on what it means to live authentically, releasing the need to perform or obsess over appearances. In a special segment, we’ll draw on the tarot card The Tower and the story of Maid Maleen to illuminate how collapse and change can lead to profound rebirth and strength. This episode is for anyone in need of guidance, hope, and the reminder that, even in the darkest times, transformation is possible. Recommended resources:Yoga With AdrienneShaking to release stress and traumaVagus nerve reset exercise with Sukie BaxterCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mar 7, 2022 • 1h 24min
why you keep repeating the same dysfunctional relationship patterns (ft. the holistic psychologist)
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole LePera, known to millions as The Holistic Psychologist, to explore the nature of love, intimacy, and authentic connection. Before her rise to nearly 5 million followers on Instagram, Nicole was a clinical psychologist grappling with the limitations of traditional mental health care—a system that often reduces symptoms to lifelong labels. Through her extensive research into trauma, epigenetics, and conscious awareness, Nicole began to challenge conventional teachings and embrace a more holistic approach to healing. Her bestselling book, How to Do the Work, sparked a movement, and her upcoming work promises to dive even deeper into creating “heart-based, authentically connected relationships.”Together, we unpack the deeper roots of our relationship struggles, exploring why so many of us feel trapped in cycles of dysfunctional patterns. Nicole shares insights on how unresolved fears—like a fear of silence, death, and change—can prevent us from forming genuine, intimate bonds. We delve into the ways in which childhood survival mechanisms, developed to keep us safe, often morph into self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder our attempts at love and connection in adulthood.In this conversation, Nicole also addresses:Why treating mental health symptoms without addressing their roots can leave us feeling stuckThe concept of “love” as a universal human need and how it shapes our early development and relationshipsHow feelings of unworthiness show up in parent-child dynamics and continue in our adult romantic livesThe importance of grieving relationship endings fully, rather than rushing to move onHow boundaries and space can deepen the bonds we share with othersIf you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns seem to repeat in your relationships or how to break free from self-sabotage in love, this episode offers transformative insights. Join us as we dive into the psychology of connection and discover how to cultivate relationships that feel truly heart-centered and whole. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 28, 2022 • 1h 42min
using the power of self-inquiry and your window of tolerance in trauma recovery
In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of self-inquiry—a practice that can illuminate our deepest blind spots and help us navigate the chronic feelings of emptiness and identity struggles often experienced by those who identify with traits of BPD, cPTSD, or complex trauma. Not knowing who we are can be a frightening and isolating experience, but self-inquiry offers a path to reconnect with our authentic selves and cultivate a grounded sense of identity. We’ll begin by exploring what self-inquiry truly is, drawing on techniques from Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), and discuss how it can reveal patterns of thought and behavior that sabotage our ability to connect with ourselves and others. By finding our “edge” within the window of tolerance, we can start to understand and expand our emotional resilience, staying present even in challenging moments.In this episode, we’ll also cover:Practical steps for uncovering your personal blind spotsCore principles of self-inquiry that bring clarity and insightThe concept of “outing ourselves,” or sharing the self-understandings we uncover with others as a path to deeper connectionHow self-inquiry intersects with spirituality and personal growth, and what symbolism in tarot’s “The Hermit” card can teach us about solitude and self-reflectionJournaling prompts designed to guide you into meaningful self-inquiry and help you start your journey of self-discoveryWhether you’re struggling with self-identity or simply curious about the practice, this episode provides actionable insights to help you cultivate self-awareness and move toward a more grounded, connected life. Join me as we take the first steps on the journey inward, creating space for healing, authenticity, and lasting transformation.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 21, 2022 • 49min
overcoming extreme emotion dysregulation and suicidal ideation (ft. CJ THE X)
In this episode, I sit down with Toronto-based video essayist, artist, and philosopher CJ THE X, whose creative force extends far beyond YouTube. Known for channeling explosive emotions into music and art, CJ shares his journey through the ups and downs of living with BPD and how he’s worked to escape the mental traps that once held him captive.We explore how CJ’s imaginative childhood eventually clashed with the demands of the “real world” as a teenager, leading him to confront his BPD diagnosis, struggles with self-destructive behaviors, and experiences with inpatient psychiatric care. Despite being labeled “high functioning,” CJ found himself dismissed by mental health professionals, leaving him to face the weight of chronic emptiness, intense shame, and fear of abandonment on his own. In this conversation, CJ opens up about the self-sabotaging beliefs that kept him feeling stuck and how DBT therapy became his lifeline, providing the skills and tools to build a life of resilience and purpose. He describes the powerful impact of his “Favorite Person” relationships, the challenge of finding ways to cope with distress, and the importance of navigating emotions without judgment. By thinking dialectically, CJ has found a way to balance opposing feelings, using them as fuel for his art and creative path.This episode is a testament to the power of art and community in the healing journey. CJ reflects on how transforming emotions into music and giving back to others has enriched his life, showing that creativity can be a profound source of strength, insight, and connection. Join us as we dive into CJ’s inspiring journey from despair to empowerment and the tools he’s gained to manage life as a self-employed artist forging his own path. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 11, 2022 • 1h 19min
how learning to live within your integrity may be the key to resolving your identity issues
Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us who identify with symptoms and traits of various mental health "disorder" or "dysfunction" labels. Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity■ How and why we compromise our integrity■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood Recommended and referenced resources:Book - The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha BeckArticle - How & Why You Compromise Your IntegrityCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 7, 2022 • 51min
learning to accurately label your emotions with psychoanalyst dr. jayce long
In this second part of my conversation with psychodynamic psychologist Dr. Jayce Long, we dive even deeper into the emotional patterns that shape our relationships and the path to genuine healing. Building on part one, where we explored the unconscious mind, this episode uncovers the ways in which unresolved childhood experiences continue to influence our adult relationships, often reenacting trauma in subtle yet impactful ways. Dr. Long offers insights into how attachment styles—particularly avoidant and preoccupied/disorganized—tend to attract each other, creating a dynamic that often leads to conflict. Together, we discuss practical tools for breaking these cycles and learning to approach intimacy and trust as a gradual process, rather than a quick fix.Key topics we explore in this episode include:The lasting impact of childhood and adolescent bullying on adult relationshipsNavigating conflict in family and intimate relationships while setting clear emotional boundariesUnderstanding the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-centerednessIdentifying and expressing core emotions—anger, sadness, fear, curiosity, love, and joy—by tuning into our bodies and embracing “complicated” feelingsHow perfectionism in our inner critic once served us, and why evolving beyond it is essential in recoveryHow giving unsolicited advice may unknowingly undermine our relationshipsMoving beyond the concept of “raging” at our inner critic, finding more nuanced ways to build self-compassionThis episode encourages listeners to develop a deeper connection to their emotions and break free from the patterns that keep them trapped in past trauma. Join us as we explore the nuances of emotional healing, offering practical steps for setting boundaries, cultivating trust, and navigating the complexities of self-growth and recovery.Follow Jayce on Instagram @darebeingwithCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feb 4, 2022 • 1h 19min
understanding your unconscious mind with psychoanalyst dr. jayce long
n this episode, I sit down with contemporary psychodynamic psychologist Dr. Jayce Long to explore the power of the unconscious mind and how early, repressed experiences shape our adult lives. Dr. Long sheds light on how hidden memories and emotions from our past can fuel self-destructive patterns, leading to behaviors and symptoms commonly associated with various mental health struggles. Together, we dive into how these unconscious defenses impact us and how we can begin to break free. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Long addresses the impact of repression as an unconscious defense mechanism, keeping disturbing or painful thoughts at bay but ultimately driving toxic shame and self-sabotage. We discuss practical ways to work with the unconscious mind, including labeling emotions without judgment, using critical thinking to manage all-or-nothing thinking (or “splitting”), and understanding both healthy and maladaptive forms of dissociation.We also cover:Recognizing signs of emotional regression and age-stuck behaviorsUnderstanding how attachment styles, particularly disorganized ones, contribute to relationship strugglesBreaking generational cycles of trauma and healing from toxic family dynamicsUnpacking complex topics like the “paranoid-schizoid” and “depressive” positions, which help explain why we tend to label people or situations as “all good” or “all bad”Identifying unconscious signs of emotional abuse and dealing with drama addictionThe long-term harm of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and the need for “parental mirroring” in healthy developmentDr. Long provides guidance on acknowledging and owning our needs, working through repressed anger and grief, and moving toward self-understanding and healing. This episode is an invitation to look deeply into the unconscious mind and gain practical tools to release long-held patterns, fostering genuine growth and transformation. Recommended resources:YouTube Video | Decoding Mother-Infant Interaction with Dr. Beatrice BeebeFollow Jayce on Instagram @darebeingwithCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 31, 2022 • 1h 1min
tarot therapy for trauma recovery and shadow work with dr. elliot adam
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Elliot Adam, a seasoned tarot expert with over 25 years of experience, to explore the transformative power of spirituality, tarot, and mythology. Dr. Adam has guided clients worldwide, from Hollywood creatives to doctors and entrepreneurs, using tarot as a tool for accessing the unconscious mind and deepening self-understanding. We dive into the rich symbolism of tarot, examining how archetypes and symbols can illuminate hidden aspects of ourselves and help us move through repressed emotions and self-sabotaging thoughts. Dr. Adam connects the hero’s journey to the major arcana, showing how these timeless archetypes offer a roadmap for personal growth and transformation. Together, we also explore concepts of self-love, reframe our understanding of death, and discuss Carl Jung’s idea of “the shadow.” This episode invites you to look beyond the surface, using symbolism as a powerful lens for healing, self-acceptance, and a deeper connection with your true self.Resources directly mentioned in the episode: Book | Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Book of Tarot by Rachel Pollack Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jan 20, 2022 • 1h 9min
are you emotionally overcontrolled or undercontrolled? (ft. dr. anita federici)
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Anita Federici, a researcher and clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience specializing in personality and eating disorders. Dr. Federici shares groundbreaking insights into why BPD is so often misdiagnosed, introducing the concepts of emotional undercontrol (UC) and overcontrol (OC)—a new way of understanding behaviors commonly associated with BPD.We’ll discuss the latest neuroscientific research, shedding light on the connection between “quiet BPD” and emotional overcontrol, and examine how these insights are transforming the approach to diagnosis and treatment. Dr. Federici also questions the utility of diagnostic labels, offering a fresh perspective on how to view and support individuals navigating these traits.Whether you’re seeking treatment options or looking to better understand DBT and other modalities, this conversation provides valuable guidance on finding the right program to meet your needs. Join us as we explore the evolving landscape of mental health treatment and the new frameworks redefining how we view and support emotional experiences. Recommended resources:https://behavioraltech.org/ (Marsha Linehan’s Behavioral Tech Website)https://www.youtube.com/c/DBTRU (Official YouTube page for the DBT clinic at Rutgers University directed by Shireen Rizvi) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
