back from the borderline

In this exclusive preview of a premium BFTB episode, we explore the disturbing parallels between dysfunctional family structures and cult organizations. Drawing insights from psychologist Jose Fernández Aguado's article, "How a Dysfunctional Family Functions Like a Cult," I delve into the mechanics of control, trust, and dependency that define both these environments. Dysfunctional families, much like cults, can manipulate and erode the individual identities of their members, leading to a cycle of psychological abuse that mirrors the coercive tactics employed by cult leaders.The discussion will unpack how such families fail to foster healthy relational skills among their members, specifically focusing on the inability to establish boundaries and the resulting lack of autonomy. Using critical concepts from family systems theory, we'll examine the roles, rules, and boundaries within these families, highlighting how they create an atmosphere of distrust and dependence that stifles personal growth and mimics cult-like compliance and isolation.As I analyze the article's key points, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of why some families may feel eerily similar to a cult, with rigid roles and an overarching control diminishing the individual's sense of self and autonomy. The episode will not only shed light on the subtle dynamics of control and manipulation inherent in such families but also offer insights into recognizing and overcoming these toxic patterns.Tune in to learn about the transformative journey from recognizing to healing from the hidden manipulations within dysfunctional family structures, and discover how breaking free from these patterns can lead to personal liberation and growth.Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As we transition into a new phase of our mega-series exploring the impact of childhood emotional neglect (CEN), we’ll begin examining the lasting effects of CEN as they manifest in late adolescence and early adulthood. This installment exposes the first two critical, often covert impacts: chronic feelings of emptiness and counter-dependence. First, we address the pervasive sense of emptiness that haunts individuals long after their childhood has ended. This condition is more than fleeting sadness; it's a persistent, profound lack of fulfillment that manifests physically as a void and emotionally as disconnection. This episode explores the depths of this emptiness, elucidating its subtle yet powerful influence on personal identity and engagement with the world.Next, the discussion shifts to counter-dependence, a symptom frequently misunderstood and overlooked. Far from a healthy preference for independence, counter-dependence is a severe aversion to vulnerability, born from the protective instincts developed in response to childhood neglect. This segment examines how such an extreme self-reliance can alienate individuals from meaningful support and intimacy, often to their detriment. Accompanied by targeted reflection questions, this episode not only helps listeners identify these experiences in their own lives but also offers an understanding of their origins. By recognizing these patterns, listeners can begin to address the profound impact of early emotional neglect on their adult lives. Tune in as we delve into these intricate psychological phenomena, aiming to empower listeners with knowledge and strategies to overcome the enduring effects of childhood neglect. This exploration is not merely about identifying pain—it's about moving towards recovery and reclaiming a fuller, more connected life.Recommended Resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhDCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 6 of my deep-dive into Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) series ventures into uncharted territories, where the shadows of neglect stretch beyond the emotional realm to cast a profound impact on your physical well-being. This segment peels back the layers of how emotional turmoil from neglect and trauma in our formative years doesn't just scar our emotional landscapes but also seeds the ground for physical diseases and chronic conditions that can shorten your lifespan and diminish your quality of life. In this pivotal episode, I unravel the science and soul behind Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), illuminating how early-life stressors metamorphose from emotional dis-ease into tangible physical disease. I dissect the intricate web connecting our brains, bodies, and minds, challenging the conventional medical model's fragmented approach to mental health, which often seeks to bandage symptoms without addressing their rooted causes.But I don't stop at diagnosing the problem. This episode takes a bold step forward, critiquing the well-intentioned yet flawed one-size-fits-all healing narratives prevalent in today's self-help and recovery resources. I question the promises of returning to a state of 'pre-trauma purity' and dissect why such prescriptive paths often lead individuals down shame spirals, feeling irretrievably broken. As I delve into these critical conversations, I propose an alternative healing model—one that embraces the power of individuation, the transformative magic of emotional alchemy, and the profound strength found in our scars. This model doesn't seek to erase your past but integrates it, allowing you to craft a narrative of healing that's as unique as your experiences. Join me in Episode 6 for a transformative exploration that promises to redefine your understanding of healing. Let's journey together towards a new paradigm where healing is seen not as a destination but as a continuous process of becoming, where every scar is a testament to your resilience and every step forward is a victory.Recommended Resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson NakazawaCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the introductory episode of a premium visualization series available exclusively to my paid subscribers - I've made the full episode available to you for free to provide a taste of what you can expect in the following visualizations. This initial episode is your gateway to a journey of deep healing and self-discovery, where you'll learn to nurture and reclaim parts of yourself that may have been lost or neglected. Inspired by John Bradshaw's influential book, "Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child," this series is designed to guide you through healing your inner child at various stages, from infancy through adolescence. With each step, you'll be supported by specific solfeggio frequencies, enhancing the therapeutic impact of the meditations. This structured approach ensures you address each critical phase of development in sequence, enabling a comprehensive healing experience. Expect this process to evoke a range of emotions, as it's designed to touch on deep-seated wounds and offer paths to healing and wholeness. Through guided meditations and affirmations, you'll be given tools to address and heal from relational and attachment traumas, providing the nurturing, protection, and validation that may have been missing in your childhood. This introductory episode sets the stage for a transformative journey, laying out the why and how of our work together. As you proceed, remember this is a safe space for exploration and healing, and you're encouraged to revisit this introduction whenever you need grounding or a reminder of the journey's purpose.UNLOCK THE NEXT VISUALIZATION IN THE SERIES: After listening to this introductory episode, the next step is to move onto to the subsequent visualizations in the series. The next episode is titled “re-parenting visualization series E01: inner infant.” All four episodes (once released) will be easily accessible for future (and repeated) listening in the “re-parenting visualizations” collection in Patreon. To sign up for access, check out the details below. Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This deep dive uncovers the dark corners of dysfunctional parenting, revealing how sociopathic parents create emotional vacuums that leave lasting scars. The discussion shifts to parentification, where children take on adult roles, often at the expense of their own growth. Insights into toxic shame and its ties to societal pressures add another layer, while personal anecdotes highlight the generational cycles of emotional neglect. Listeners are left contemplating the necessity of emotional awareness for healthier familial relationships.

Part four of our series unfolds the complex narratives of three more distinct parenting styles that, beneath their unique challenges, share a common thread of emotional neglect. Together, we’ll navigate the realms of “the Workaholic Parent”, “the Perfection-Obsessed Parent”, and “The Parent Caring for a Family Member Who Requires Special Attention”, each presenting a unique set of psychological dynamics that inadvertently contribute to Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).1. The Workaholic Parent: In a society that prizes achievement and productivity, the workaholic parent's ceaseless pursuit of professional success often comes at the expense of meaningful family interactions. Through Lily's story, we explore how a childhood adorned with material wealth yet devoid of emotional depth leaves enduring scars, highlighting the silent longing for parental presence and understanding.2. The Perfection-Obsessed Parent: The relentless chase for flawlessness and high achievement drives a wedge between parent and child, where love feels conditional on success. Liam's journey reveals the internal battle of living up to impossibly high standards, fostering a sense of inadequacy and a quest for external validation that overlooks the child's emotional needs and intrinsic value.3. The Parent Caring for a Family Member Who Requires Special Attention (due to illness, disability, addiction, or persistent mental health struggles): Tasked with an extraordinary responsibility, these parents navigate a daily reality of immense challenge and devotion. Through the experiences of Emily and Alex, we delve into the emotional landscape of siblings who, amidst the family's focused caregiving, grapple with feelings of invisibility, guilt, and the unintended neglect of their emotional well-being.This episode seeks to illuminate the nuanced psychological "whys" behind these parenting styles and the inadvertent emotional neglect they can engender. Through a compassionate lens, we aim to foster understanding, healing, and a dialogue on the importance of balancing the demands of work, aspirations, and caregiving with the essential emotional connection every child deserves. Join me as we navigate these intricate family dynamics, underscored by insights from depth psychology and personal stories of resilience. This exploration is an invitation to parents and families to reflect, acknowledge, and shift towards more emotionally attuned and connected relationships.Recommended resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this free preview of a premium episode, we dive deep into the realm of self-censorship, exploring its nuanced definition as the act of muting one's own voice out of fear or deference to others' sensibilities, without external compulsion. Kicking off with insights from Africa Brooke—a London-based beacon in overcoming self-sabotage and self-censorship—we dissect the intricacies of muting oneself in a world increasingly intolerant of dissenting voices.Africa Brooke, renowned for her candid exploration of self-sabotage and self-censorship, lends her expertise, illustrating the perilous landscape of public discourse, where expressing divergent views can result in exile or digital vilification. The episode is enriched by Brooke's recent Instagram video, heralding her forthcoming book "The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance." Here, she delves into self-censorship's societal toll, advocating for a culture of "disagreeing well" and championing the art of pushback against collective sabotage—familiarly known as cancel culture. Her conviction? That navigating the treacherous waters of self-censorship and cancel culture demands a return to courageous, unfiltered expression. Through a meticulous exploration, we examine how self-censorship not only erodes personal integrity but also perpetuates a cycle of mutual surveillance, stifling societal progress. Drawing from a spectrum of thinkers, from Ada Palmer's historical perspectives to Orwell's dystopian foresights, we unpack the broader implications of self-censorship on freedom, control, and the collective psyche. Join me as we venture beyond the surface, challenging ourselves to confront the internalized censorship that shadows our discourse.Recommended Resources:✧ Dive into Africa Brooke’s work at https://africabrooke.com/ or follow her on Instagram @africabrooke [you can pre-order her book here]✧ 1984 by George OrwellCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast episode delves into the impact of divorced, grieving, addicted, and depressed parents on childhood emotional neglect. It explores how children navigate their emotional needs amidst their parents' struggles, leading to unintentional neglect and emotional insecurity. Through detailed vignettes, the episode paints a vivid picture of the silent struggle children face in these challenging circumstances.

Join me for a free preview of this Patreon-exclusive episode as we dive deep into the groundbreaking insights of renowned psychoanalyst and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Through an exploration of a passage from her book, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”, we’ll unravel the complex effects of childhood emotional neglect on individuals' sense of identity and belonging. Exploring Estés' concept of the ‘Mistaken Zygote Syndrome’, we reveal the profound impact of feeling misplaced or misunderstood within one's family. Drawing from Jungian psychology, we uncover the clash between societal expectations and the innate wildness that lives within all of us.Delving further, we expose the desire for consistency within dysfunctional family systems and its repercussions for those seeking healing and integration. Through an exploration of themes from the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we shed light on the challenges individuals face as they strive for change amidst familial resistance. Through gritty analysis and real-life examples, we unveil the transformative potential of embracing one's authentic self and reclaiming inner wildness. From challenging societal norms to setting boundaries within family dynamics, we reveal actionable steps for healing and growth. Tune in for a raw, unfiltered exploration of breaking free from the shackles of dysfunction, cultivating self-compassion, and embarking on a journey of empowerment. This episode promises to provoke thought, inspire change, and empower listeners on their path to self-discovery and integration while healing the wounds of childhood emotional neglect.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast delves into the impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect, focusing on parenting styles like narcissistic, authoritarian, and permissive. It explores how these styles can lead to emotional neglect, hindering healthy self-esteem and autonomy in children. Case studies illustrate the detrimental effects of each parenting archetype, emphasizing the importance of breaking the cycle of emotional neglect for future generations.