back from the borderline

In this episode, we're uncovering the reasons behind our modern Western society's spiritual starvation and lack of meaning. We'll explore how the Age of Enlightenment birthed Cartesian thought, driving a wedge between us and a sense of sacredness, leaving us to believe only what we can see, touch, taste, and smell is real. What have we lost by succumbing to this dualistic worldview? Many from cultures that still hold deep spiritual significance argue that the West's mental health crisis stems from our separation from our spiritual nature.We'll delve into how Abrahamic and Judeo-Christian organized religions and other cult-like institutions have ingrained toxic shame in their followers, judging them for who they are or whom they love. Practices meant to embody love, forgiveness, and connectedness have instead become ways to control, make money, and instill fear and judgment. Additionally, the rise of new-age spirituality has seen influencers profiting off various spiritual and healing courses, prioritizing financial gain over genuine spiritual connection. This has left many people feeling burned out and disillusioned, struggling with deep feelings of emptiness and disconnection.In this episode, we'll dive into these issues and provide you with various tools for your spiritual toolbox. You'll discover rituals and practices to incorporate into your daily life, free from religious dogma or expensive courses with false promises. This journey requires you to open your mind, forget everything you know about religion and spirituality, and turn within, learning to trust yourself. By the end of this episode, you'll have everything you need to create a truly integrated and grounded spiritual practice. The rituals and concept I share can help you connect to something greater than yourself and reconnect your body, mind, and spirit—essential elements for anyone on a path to recovery from childhood trauma or any form of abuse.Want the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me as we conclude our multi-episode series on childhood emotional neglect. Over the course of episodes 1-9, you’ve delved deep into what childhood emotional neglect is, explored the dysfunctional parenting styles that contribute to its development, and identified how it manifests in our adult lives through various symptoms and coping mechanisms that erode our sense of self and hinder our ability to form deep emotional connections. In the final two episodes, you’ll dive into the path forward—how you can truly heal. Healing is an ever-evolving process, not a linear journey with a definitive finish line. It involves becoming aware of the deeper root causes of your suffering and learning to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience.I’ll introduce you to the Power Threat Meaning (PTM) Framework, developed by clinical psychologists Dr. Mary Boyle and Dr. Lucy Johnstone. This framework offers a compassionate and holistic approach to mental health, moving away from conventional biomedical models. It emphasizes understanding the power dynamics in your life, the threats you've faced, and the meanings you’ve constructed from your experiences. This approach validates your experiences as understandable responses to life's challenges rather than symptoms of a disordered personality.We'll explore the first two steps of the PTM Framework as it relates to healing from childhood emotional neglect. First, we’ll examine how different forms of power—biological, social, cultural, economic, and more—have impacted your life. You’ll be prompted to ask yourself: “What happened to me?” “How has power operated in my life?” Next, we’ll delve into the second step of the framework, asking you to consider how the use or misuse of power in your childhood has shaped your thoughts, body, and relationships today. Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" we’ll reframe it to, "What did I have to do to survive?" This shift in perspective can help you understand that your behaviors and responses make perfect sense given your circumstances.This episode will provide practical tools and insights to help you reframe your narrative, validate your experiences, and embark on a deeply personal and transformative healing journey. By embracing this new perspective, you can move beyond conventional mental health labels and gain a richer understanding of your experiences. Together, we'll move toward concluding our exploration into the complex legacy of childhood emotional neglect, forging a path toward healing, emotional resilience, and psychological integration. Recommended Resources:✧ Full information on the Power Threat Meaning Framework (PTMF) via the British Psychological SocietyCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this explosive episode, we peel back the glitzy veneer of the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants to reveal a world riddled with scandal, misogyny, and exploitation. From Caite Upton's unforgettable "everywhere like such as" answer in 2007 to the shocking resignations of Miss USA Noelia Voigt and Miss Teen USA UmaSofia Srivastava, you'll dive deep into the systemic issues plaguing these competitions.As someone who witnessed Caite Upton's infamous moment firsthand from backstage as a contestant in the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant, I offer a unique insider's perspective on the toxic culture within the pageant industry. Watching Caite deliver her answer, I saw the immediate reactions and felt the collective shock. This was one of the first viral events on the internet, back when YouTube was still in its infancy. We all laughed, but what impact does being publicly shamed on such a massive scale have on someone? In this episode, we'll discuss this and the profound effect it had on Caite, who was just a teenage girl at the time. She became a spectacle, an early guinea pig of internet public shaming during the wild west era of social media.You'll get an in-depth analysis of the current drama surrounding UmaSofia Srivastava and Noelia Voigt's resignations. Their PR-friendly and somewhat cryptic statements reveal the darker side of these 'empowering' platforms, which often reduce young women to their physical appearance and silence their voices through ironclad NDAs. We’ll explore how these resignations expose systemic exploitation and control within the pageant industry.Trace the history of beauty pageants, from their rise in the 1950s to their recent fall, marred by scandals and allegations of harassment. Discover the shocking stories of abuse and exploitation during Donald Trump's controversial ownership, and dive into the ongoing chaos within the Miss Universe Organization marked by financial instability, rigging accusations, and toxic leadership. Uncover how powerful men like Trump have weaponized the law to silence victims, and delve into the broader cultural implications of a society obsessed with hyper-sexualized and unattainable beauty standards. Tune in to hear the real stories behind the headlines, the dark underbelly of the pageant world, and how we can collectively demand better for future generations of young women. Are we ready to end this exploitative circus, or will we continue to prop up a system that degrades and silences women? The choice is ours.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

↓ Want to unlock ALL my BPD-related episodes? Scroll to the bottom of this post for more info. ↓Episode Description: In this episode, we're taking a critical and eye-opening journey through time to deeply understand the history of the borderline personality disorder diagnostic label, tracing its disturbing roots back to the ancient concept of 'hysteria.' Together, we’ll explore the pathologization of women's emotions and behaviors from the times of Plato and Hippocrates, through the 19th-century diagnosis of hysteria, to the contemporary label of BPD. We delve into the controversial legacy of Jean-Martin Charcot, whose exploitative and later debunked experiments on "hysterical" women laid the groundwork for modern psychiatry and influenced figures like Sigmund Freud. You’ll also discover how Freud's initial recognition of the trauma and sexual abuse suffered by his female patients morphed into the infamous oedipus complex blaming women for their own distress.This episode also shines a light on Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), another modern label that pathologizes the natural cyclical changes in women, reinforcing outdated notions of female instability. Drawing from historical accounts and modern critiques, this episode will reveal how the diagnostic criteria for hysteria were simply repackaged into histrionic personality disorder, and later, BPD. The result is a powerful critique of the psychiatric model, showing how little has changed in the medical gaze on women’s mental health. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the gender biases that persist in psychiatry and how the stigmatization of women’s experiences continues to echo through time. This episode challenges the liberating narrative of mental health labels, urging us to reconsider the origins and implications of these diagnoses. BPD is not just a modern label—it is hysteria in sheep's clothing. By the end of this episode, you'll view BPD and the entire psychiatric model through a new lens, questioning the narratives that have been accepted for centuries. RESOURCES: ✧ Ussher, J. M. (2013). Diagnosing difficult women and pathologising femininity: Gender bias in psychiatric nosology. Feminism & Psychology, 23(1), 63-69. https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353512467968 ✧ BPD = Hysteria? By Amanda Robins via https://www.amandarobinspsychotherapy.com.au/  (October, 2017)✧ Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – The New Hysteria by Joy Eidse MSW, RSW (November, 2017)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 9 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we delve into the final three in our list of symptoms that shape the adult lives of those affected by early emotional neglect: internalized anger, lack of self-discipline, and alexithymia. Each of these symptoms reveals a unique aspect of the long-term effects of neglect that continue to challenge individuals into adulthood.We begin by exploring internalized anger and self-blame, often hidden beneath the surface but profoundly influencing one’s self-image and interactions. This anger is typically directed inward as a misguided form of control and self-protection, originating from the false belief during childhood that one is inherently at fault for the neglect they experienced. This episode will dissect the origins and impacts of this self-directed anger, helping listeners recognize and address these often destructive patterns.Next, we address the lack of self-discipline, a less obvious but equally significant consequence of CEN. This symptom, often referred to as “executive dysfunction,” manifests as struggles with daily responsibilities and self-care, rooted in the absence of early life structure and emotional guidance. Listeners will gain insights into how emotional neglect disrupts the development of self-regulation skills and learn strategies to cultivate these essential aspects of adult life.Lastly, we cover alexithymia—the inability to identify and express emotions, a common but perplexing outcome of CEN. This condition can lead to significant challenges in personal relationships and overall emotional health. We'll explore how a childhood devoid of emotional validation can lead to this emotional blindness, and discuss ways to begin reconnecting with one's emotional self.This episode aims not only to shed light on these symptoms but also to offer paths toward healing and understanding. By recognizing the roots of these issues, listeners can start to transform their internal narrative from one of blame and confusion to one of recovery and clarity. Join me as we continue to unravel the complex legacy of childhood emotional neglect and forge a path towards emotional resilience and self-discovery.Recommended Resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ My full episode exploring executive dysfunction (overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just do the thing?!”) Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.✧ Click here for a full depiction of the “feelings wheel” or visit https://feelingswheel.com/Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Discover the profound legacy of labyrinths, not just as intricate mazes, but as powerful tools in modern psychological therapy. This episode explores their historical significance and their transformative role in EMDR therapy— a technique developed by Francine Shapiro in 1987 for healing psychological trauma. Together, we’ll learn how these ancient paths, once central to the ceremonies of ancient Egypt and the myths of Greece, are now implemented in hospitals, churches, and prisons as meditative and therapeutic spaces. We’ll delve into scientific studies that highlight the benefits of labyrinth walking, from reducing blood pressure to enhancing emotional regulation, and illustrate how this age-old practice, when combined with innovative therapy, offers a transformative journey of healing. Tune in for a captivating look at how the age-old labyrinth is turning into a modern path to recovery.Reference for episode: “The Healing Power of Labyrinths” by Leo F. for The Oxbow SchoolResources:✧ 12 inch bamboo finger labyrinth (Amazon)✧ Finger labyrinth travel cards (Amazon)✧ Walking a Sacred Path: Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual Practice by Lauren ArtressCraving the full length version of this episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should Drake's denial of Kendrick Lamar's allegations of pursuing underage girls open a wider conversation on grooming, social media, and consent? In this episode, we dissect this pressing issue and much more.Unless you've been living under a rock, you've likely heard of the ongoing rap beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar that kicked off in April 2024.During the first week of May 2024, this months-long spat has hit full throttle. On Saturday (May 4th), Lamar put out yet another diss entitled "Not Like Us," which doubled down on allegations of Drake’s pedophilia (even going as far as to refer to him as a “certified pedophile”).The latest development came on the evening of May 5th, with Drake’s release of “The Heart Part 6.” On the track, the Toronto rapper mainly denies Lamar’s allegations that he has a pattern of pursuing underage girls, a claim that has plagued the rapper in the wake of tales from the likes of 'Stranger Tales' actress Millie Bobby Brown, 20, who said Drake regularly texted her when she was only 14.As the old saying goes, where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Rumors surrounding Drake's interactions with young women have persisted long before the Kendrick and Drake beef. In this episode, we delve into the longstanding and controversial history of Drake's relationships with girls on the cusp of womanhood. We'll examine the legal framework of consent and the ethical complexities surrounding men who pursue significantly younger partners, regardless of legal culpability.We'll conclude this discussion with a reading of a personal essay, recounting my experiences as a young girl navigating the digital landscape of the early 2000s, where I was groomed and pursued by much older men during the 'wild west days' of the internet and social media. Through this piece, I aim to shed light on the pervasive nature of this issue, transcending the confines of Drake's rap beef. It's imperative to recognize that these occurrences are symptomatic of a broader systemic problem—a culture that has long permitted the sexualization and exploitation of young girls online. Join me as we confront these uncomfortable truths and advocate for meaningful change.TIMESTAMPS:✧ 00:00 – 03:23: Intro✧ 03:23 – 10:27: quick timeline of the Kendrick Lamar and Drake feud✧ 10:27 – 41:17: an analysis of the Kendrick lyrics that level accusations against Drake✧ 41:17 – 01:07:16: six times Drake allegedly groomed young girls✧ 01:08:17 – 01:26:24: The fine line between grooming, pedophilia, and the “age of consent” (+ an exploration of Angel Reese’s appearance on The Breakfast Club)✧ 01:26:24 – 02:00:02: the circle jerk of sadness to grooming pipeline: how growing up during internet's wild west era arrested the sexual development of a generation (personal essay)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this exclusive preview of a premium episode, join me as we delve into the intricate web of generational emotional neglect, exploring how historical, cultural, and social factors shaped parenting styles across the The WWI Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials. This journey through time reveals a pattern akin to a bizarre Russian doll, where dysfunctional parenting practices are passed down, layer by layer, impacting each subsequent generation.Together, we'll unpack the profound effects these inherited behaviors have on our current struggles, offering insights that might just change how you view yourself and your lineage. By tracing the socioeconomic backgrounds, upbringing, and the worldviews of our ancestors, we connect dots that illuminate the roots of our own emotional landscapes. This episode not only deepens understanding but fosters a compassion for those who came before us, revealing the deep-seated origins of many modern psychological challenges.For an even deeper exploration, don't miss my companion series on childhood emotional neglect, linked below. All episodes are free to listen.PARENTAL GENERATIONS EXPLORED IN THIS EPISODE:✧ “The Greatest Generation” (G.I. / WWII Generation): parents born between 1901-1927✧ The Silent Generation: parents born between 1928 - 1945✧ Baby Boomers: parents born between 1946 – 1964✧ Generation X: parents born between 1965 - 1980✧ Millennials (Generation Y): parents born between 1981 – 1996Click here to listen to episode 1 of my childhood emotional neglect series on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Episode 8 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we continue our exploration of the symptoms that shape the lives of adults affected by early emotional neglect. In this portion of our discussion, we’ll be covering skewed perception of self, lack of self-compassion, and toxic guilt and shame. Each of these symptoms reflects deep-seated distortions in self-perception and interpersonal relations, forged in the fires of childhood emotional neglect.First, we explore the concept of unrealistic self-appraisal, where individuals either overestimate or underestimate their worth, abilities, and attributes. This skewed self-perception often originates from inconsistent or absent feedback during formative years, leading to significant life implications, from career choices to personal relationships. We examine how this distortion in self-view can be corrected through a deeper understanding of its roots and a reassessment of one’s true capabilities and worth.Next, we address the profound lack of self-compassion that many neglect survivors experience. Despite their often boundless compassion for others, they struggle to extend the same kindness to themselves. This segment discusses the critical need to balance empathy, how to cultivate internal compassion, and the transformative impact this can have on one's sense of self and overall mental health.Lastly, we tackle toxic guilt and shame, a debilitating byproduct of CEN that compels individuals to internalize excessive blame and unworthiness. This discussion highlights the importance of differentiating between constructive guilt and destructive shame and provides strategies for overcoming the deeply ingrained belief systems that fuel these feelings.By exploring these symptoms, this episode aims to offer insights and practical guidance for listeners to begin reevaluating their self-perceptions, fostering self-compassion, and challenging the guilt and shame that have held sway over their lives. Join me as we continue to uncover the hidden impacts of childhood emotional neglect and move towards healing, self-acceptance, and a more authentic life.Recommended Resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Start part 1 of my multi-episode series on toxic shame (“shame series part 1: healthy shame makes you human”) click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify.✧ Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach✧ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin NeffCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this exclusive preview of a premium BFTB episode, we explore the disturbing parallels between dysfunctional family structures and cult organizations. Drawing insights from psychologist Jose Fernández Aguado's article, "How a Dysfunctional Family Functions Like a Cult," I delve into the mechanics of control, trust, and dependency that define both these environments. Dysfunctional families, much like cults, can manipulate and erode the individual identities of their members, leading to a cycle of psychological abuse that mirrors the coercive tactics employed by cult leaders.The discussion will unpack how such families fail to foster healthy relational skills among their members, specifically focusing on the inability to establish boundaries and the resulting lack of autonomy. Using critical concepts from family systems theory, we'll examine the roles, rules, and boundaries within these families, highlighting how they create an atmosphere of distrust and dependence that stifles personal growth and mimics cult-like compliance and isolation.As I analyze the article's key points, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of why some families may feel eerily similar to a cult, with rigid roles and an overarching control diminishing the individual's sense of self and autonomy. The episode will not only shed light on the subtle dynamics of control and manipulation inherent in such families but also offer insights into recognizing and overcoming these toxic patterns.Tune in to learn about the transformative journey from recognizing to healing from the hidden manipulations within dysfunctional family structures, and discover how breaking free from these patterns can lead to personal liberation and growth.Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.