This week we do our best to explain how next week's elections work (shout out to the water boards!), why the TV debates are between politicians who aren't standing in them and why Mark Rutte is shadow boxing with a 'leftist cloud'. Justice minister Dilan Yesilgöz is under pressure over failures in the crown witness protection system. The European Medicines Agency is displeased about the personal treatments Amsterdam city council plans to offer in its neighbourhood. In sport, there's good news in athletics, football, skating, cycling and baseball. And we report on the exotic invaders who are accused of tearing up the neighbourhood, holding raucous parties and driving up your energy bill.

The systematic failure to protect Groningen residents from earthquakes and witnesses in gangland trials from being murdered in broad daylight were laid bare in two damning reports this week. We unearth the village scandal behind a portrait painted by Vincent van Gogh shortly before he left his native Brabant. Inflation rises again as the official statistics agency discovers it overcooked the figures last year. An amateur football team threatens to create an almighty headache for the KNVB after causing a cup upset. And we have an outstanding story about two plants of eye-watering proportions that will swell visitor numbers at Leiden University's botanical garden.

Unfortunately there is no regular episode this week because in a freakish coincidence the entire DutchNews podcast team is away and we promise this has nothing to do with the ten Russian spies who were expelled from the Netherlands on Tuesday. As a compensation, we release last summer's special episode for Patreon supporters in which we don't discuss the news, but rather a number of fascinating stories from Dutch history and several of them are remarkably related to current affairs. So if you want to know what a high-ranking German refugee, a giant Russian with a taste for torture, a hungry mob who literally grilled their prime minister and an art forger who conned the Nazis have in common? Spoiler: they all feature in our special summer podcast for DutchNews patrons, now available for everyone. But if you do want to support the DutchNews podcast, go to www.patreon.com/DutchNewsNL and make sure we will return next week with a regular episode!

After relying on the Netherlands to help them beat the taxman, U2 appropriately hire a Dutchman to beat the drums for them in Las Vegas. There's more smashing news on the tennis court, where two home-based players reach the quarter-finals of the ABN AMRO tournament. The VVD wins the race to become the first party to pull out of an election debate this year as Mark Rutte's strategy unravels. Celebrities staff the phone lines to drive up donations to the Giro 555 earthquake appeal. A councillor wins a five-year legal battle to stop racial profiling by border guards. And campaigners ask the king to honour a diplomat who was reprimanded for breaking visa rules to save thousands of Jews from the Holocaust.

Dutch rescue workers join the international team searching the rubble of this week's earthquake in Turkey and Syria for survivors. Back home, Mark Rutte surveys the wreckage of his asylum policy as the Council of State throws out a rule delaying family reunions. The team investigating the MH17 disaster say the chain of command went all the way up to Vladimir Putin. We ask if Dutch cheese and Belgian roads explain the Benelux hegemony in cyclo-cross. And we reveal why thousands of museum goers will miss the most famous girl in The Hague when she pays a rare visit to Amsterdam. The episode on the collapse of Forum voor Democratie was in week 48 of 2020 called "The Forum Voor Democrazy Edition" and the segment starts at 17:20.

The distant goal of putting Russia on trial for invading Ukraine moves a step closer as a dedicated prosecutor's office is set up in The Hague. Mark Rutte avoids a diplomatic incident as he takes French president Emmanuel Macron out to an Indonesian restaurant. The Dutch and German armies look set to integrate further, though there's bound to be a row about who owns the bicycles. Questions are asked in parliament about the right to protest after hundreds of people are arrested for demonstrating on a motorway. And we reveal which birds rule the roost in Dutch gardens.

A feast of ophef this week as the widow of singer André Hazes sues a juice channel presenter who called her a 'gecremeerd kroket' while Belgium's prime minister gets his flags in a twist. Richard de Mos rolls up in a garish stretch limousine for the start of his trial, where he's accused of running a criminal network in the heart of The Hague. The government promises to send more tanks and weapons to Ukraine as soon as it can sort out the lease contract with Germany. Amsterdam unveils its giant bike shed at Centraal Station to global acclaim and grumbles from cargo bike owners. Dutch citizens turn out to have turned up more than 1,000 Bronze Age burial mounds during lockdown. And Ajax sack Alfred Schreuder after running aground against the plucky fishermen of Volendam. Amsterdam bike shed time lapse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEnJORukyBw Upside down flag: https://twitter.com/alexanderdecroo/status/1617874616730673159 Prinsenvlag apology: https://twitter.com/alexanderdecroo/status/1618209869995315208

Mark Rutte went to Washington this week and said the Netherlands would definitely send some weapons to Ukraine at an unspecified time in the near future. Mayors in three cities suggested digital banning orders to curb gang violence, even though they don't know what they are, how they'd work or whether they're even legal. Good news on the energy front as gas prices start to come down and Geert Wilders becomes the unlikely saviour of solar panel subsidies. The Rijksmuseum extends its opening hours after tickets for its Vermeer show sell faster than hot kroketten. And Griekspoor's Australian dream ends in a Greek tragedy following his victory in the battle of the clones. Rijksmuseum Vermeer website: https://www.rijksmuseum.nl/nl/johannes-vermeer

2023 gets off to a shaky start with Gert-Jan Segers stepping down as leader of the ChristenUnie party. The cabinet's plans to control immigration come unstuck in court, forcing asylum minister Eric van der Burg to kick the latest measures into the long grass. The looming recession has puts a dampener on the housing market as prices decline after nine years. One commodity that's apparently impervious to high inflation is cocaine, but Rotterdam has been eclipsed by Antwerp as Europe's largest drug smuggling port. A museum in Brabant claims a timely scoop from 70 million years ago. And last but not least, we unveil the prestigious winner of the democratically sound vote for the 2022 Ophef of the Year. PostNL instructions: https://www.postnl.nl/en/receiving/parcels/receiving-from-abroad/

It's that time of year when we look back over those fleeting flare-ups of outrage and opprobrium that feature in the Ophef of the Week slot. Relive obscure controversies such as the celebrity who took her own mob to the supermarket. Recall the overpriced phone booths in the ministry of horrors. Do you remember which Belgian club was condemned for appointing an over-exposed former football director? And what about the psychedelic fury sparked by Gelderland's plans to go paintballing with wolves? So pull up a chair, grab an oliebol and a glass of bessenjenever, listen to the ophefs and select your favourite from our shortlist of three … no, four … no: six! Watch the Jumbo World Cup commercial: https://twitter.com/ottovdgalien/status/1587748502129582082?s=20&t=v3F4Rwqv89JIKYbIg9k8_Q Vote here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1wXLxDdUCRckp9NU52nUhxHbxNYklduyf9oTUdrR_EAI/edit