DutchNews Podcast

With Code Black looming in hospitals, the Dutch government brings in a 'lockdown lite' in the hope of bringing infections down by Sinterklaas. But at least there'll be less black on the faces of the saint's entourage, as research show 'sooty Piets' have become the dominant strain. December 5 is also the date when Mark Rutte hopes to have his fourth cabinet installed, a mere nine months after the general election. In sports news, Feyenoord's plans for a new stadium are torpedoed by rising building costs and Ajax reach a settlement with Appie Nouri's family.

With coronavirus cases on the rise again, experts call for firm, decisive action to bring infections down. Politicians, however, prefer to tinker with work from home rules, rely on a patchy QR code system and put the hard decisions off for another week. Elsewhere this week the Netherlands clocked up a record number of billionaires, while Amsterdam announced plans to restrict the city's housing market for private landlords. Ajax marched on in Europe but Rotterdam's mayor lost his rag with Feyenoord supporters who went on the rampage in Berlin. And if you want to get away from plagues and hooligans, a new ferry route is starting up between Eemshaven and Norway.

New climate change forecasts this week were the stuff of Dutch nightmares: if the Netherlands doesn't step up its efforts to cut emissions, it risks becoming a Mediterranean country. Even more urgently, the rising tide of coronavirus infections has raised the prospect of restrictions being imposed again. And there's still the question of when we'll have a new government as the coalition breaks its own record for the longest formation in history. Bad news too for Ronald Koeman, sacked after 21 months at Barcelona, and customers at Welkom Energie, the first Dutch casualty of the soaring gas prices. But at least there was a warm welcome for Freya the walrus, who joined a submarine crew for breakfast as part of her tour of the Dutch coast.

Sinterklaas ophef comes round earlier every year, but there's a twist this time around: it's not about Zwarte Piet. A critical review of the government's coronavirus strategy comes out just as cases soar again and ministers promise to repeat the same mistakes as last year. Infections are certainly moving much faster than efforts to compensate for the victims of the child benefit scandal, with MPs, judges, the ombudsman and the Council of Europe all criticising the handling of the affair. And Rotterdam moves another 40 centimetres away from sea level as the new highest building in the Netherlands tops out.

This week the coalition talks moved into an exciting new phase as the four parties from the last government finally agreed to make up the numbers. Also making up numbers was junior justice minister Ankie Broekers-Knol, who was rounded on by all sides after she suggested 100,000 Afghans could be on their way to the Netherlands. Other numbers causing concern are the coronavirus infections, which are rising again, and the figures on your next gas bill. Can Wopke Hoekstra come up with a tax-free solution to the energy crisis? Or will we spend a desolate winter watching Stef Blok tell us to cook one-pot dinners through till spring?

Six months after the election, the coalition merry-go-round comes full circle as the four parties from the last coalition agree to form the next one. A vegan restaurant in Utrecht becomes a cause célèbre for protesters against the coronavirus check pass. Mark Rutte gets some unwanted attention from the criminal underworld and a former councillor best known for his part in a penile pastry scandal. Supermarket chain Jumbo hopes its 'kletskassa's' can help to combat the epidemic of loneliness and atone for its in-store playlist. And former world champion Raymond van Barneveld is implicated in some sharp practice during a lockdown darts tournament.

The pandemic put paid to the usual Budget Day pageantry again, but the economic revival gave parties plenty of scope to embellish the balance sheet with extra cash for teachers, healthcare staff and new houses. The abolition of the 1.5 metre rule failed to bring a rapprochement with the hospitality sector over the compulsory corona check app. Leonardo di Caprio became the latest celebrity to sign up to the Dutch fake meat revolution. And as a hen changes sex in Zeeland, we ask if there's more chance of a rooster laying an egg than the coalition talks producing a new government.

D66 leader Sigrid Kaag will be spending more time with Johan Remkes after she resigned over the chaotic operation to evacuate Kabul. Remkes's task of forming a new coalition became more complicated as the ChristenUnie and Labour played significant parts in Kaag's downfall. The cabinet abolished the 1.5 metre society and set up the Corona Check Club, despite loud protestations from the hospitality industry. Max Verstappen proved a pain in the neck for Lewis Hamilton at Monza while taxi app service Über was left with a headache after a court ruled it had to treat its drivers as employees. And we bring you some fake bird news and the tragic tale of a disastrous date between pachyderms in Drenthe.

There are three levels of crisis in the Netherlands: moderate, severe and 'call Johan Remkes'. The self-styled Plumber of Groningen has given himself a month to unclog the blockage in the coalition negotiations, which has grown fatter this week following Sigrid Kaag's gossamer-veiled attack on Mark Rutte. Despite warnings from viral experts that coronavirus infections are set to rise as we move into autumn, Hugo de Jonge still plans to relax the pandemic restrictions later this month. There's plenty of sporting success to cheer as Max Verstappen triumphs at Zandvoort, the Paralympic team comes home with a sackload of gold medals and Memphis Depay bags five goals in two matches for Oranje. And the podcast's own four-legged mascot became an unlikely celebrity after his expensive tastes went viral on Twitter.

Scientists were stunned this week when a stingray at Harderwijk's Dolfinarium gave birth seven years after its last sexual encounter, but it will take an even bigger miracle to form a new Dutch government by Christmas. With the coalition talks deadlocked, Mark Rutte and Sigrid Kaag have bowed to the inevitable and called in 'Mister Stikstof' Johan Remkes to fix the crisis. Elsewhere there is concern about the decision to abandon the 1.5 metre rule on university campuses, a mudfight over the Tweede Kamer's new decor and a row about MPs sitting in the caretaker government. And after a 36-year absence, the Dutch Grand Prix rolls into the Zandvoort dunes and kicks up a sandstorm of ophef.