Authentic Parenting

Today's guest —Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, Ph.D strongly believes that we pervasively misunderstand anxiety and presents a new framework for reimagining and reclaiming the confounding emotion as the advantage that it evolved to be. She is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Hunter College, the City University of New York, where she directs the Emotion Regulation Lab, and is cofounder of the digital therapeutics company Wise Therapeutics. By thinking about anxiety as an unwanted affliction, we do everything in our power to do away with it. But when we accept the discomfort of anxiety and listen to what it's teaching us, we become more creative. Can you view anxiety as a gift and harness it to your advantage? MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good For You (Even Though It Feels Bad) Ep. 317: The Anatomy of Anxiety with Dr. Vora, MD Ep. 312: Unwinding Anxiety with Dr. Jud Brewer How Long Should It Take to Grieve? Psychiatry Has Come Up With an Answer NYT article SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Are you kind and loving toward yourself? Do you offer the same care to yourself as you give it to others? How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake or go through hard times? Do you get caught up in negative self talk? Learn to practice self-compassion with Marissa C. Knox, PhD— a teacher, researcher, and writer currently offering Mindfulness, Compassion, undergraduate and graduate courses at The University of Texas at Austin. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Ep. 119: How You Can Be Kind and Loving Toward Yourself with Kristin Neff, Ph.D Ep. 112: How to cultivate Self-Compassion with Marion Rose The Big 300th Episode with listener particaption g.r.a.c.e. and possibility by Marissa Knox, Ph.D SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

How much do our childhoods, and especially the quality of our first loving bonds, determine who we become and how we love. A truly fascinating and delightful conversation about the science of attachment with a longtime Zen student, author of a phenomenal book Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment Bethany Saltman. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE The Lost Daughter Strange Situation Becoming Attached by Robert Karen, Ph.D Bethany Saltman's wesbite Follow her on Instagram Ep. 315: How to Help Kids with Emotional Self-Regulation with Mona Delahooke, PhD Ep. 267: The Power of Discord Dr. Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold, MD Ep. 260: Parenting with Presence with Dr. Dan Siegel Ep. 189: What's Your Attachment Style? with Jenny Rosier, Ph.D Adult Attachment Interivew Protocol SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Unexpressed grief from the past may be one of the most overlooked public crises of our time. Says my guest, Hope Edelman today-who is a strong voice and influential figure in the bereavement field and her books have helped countless people, especially women, as she wrote about mother loss. And mother loss, doesn't necessarily mean loss by death. There is abandonment, separation, neglect… Her new book is one of the most important books I've encountered one the topic. It's called The AfterGrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss. As the title suggests, adjusting to loss is a lifelong process but as you'll learn from this conversation-it doesn't have to be a lifelong struggle. The AfterGrief is where we learn to live with a central paradox of bereavement: that a loss can recede in time and yet remain so exquisitely present. MENTIONED IN THIS EPSIODE Ep. 307: How Mother Loss Shapes Who We Become Ep. 290. The Complicated Mother-Daughter Relationship SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Shaka Senghor, authhor of Letters to the Sons of Society on the power of transformation, father's love, vulnerability and freedom. His first book is a memoir Writing My Wrongs: Life, Death and Redemption in an American Prison, debuted on The New York Times and The Washington Post Best Seller Lists. RESOURCES AND LINKS Follow Shaka on Facebook Follow him on Twitter Follow him on Instagram Watch his TED talk On Conscious Co-Parenting SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

In this solo episode Anna talks about the 6 critical emotional needs of children. She provides an overview with some examples to help you understand your children better; become a better decoder of their behavior, uncover their emotional needs and meet the needs with responsiveness and sensitivity. She goes over her 4 Buckets Framework for understanding challenging behaviors (NEEDS is only one of the categories). In our culture we are always fixated on the behavior itself(we want to stop, correct and get rid of). When we focus on the behavior in isolation (wanting to stop, correct, get rid of etc.) and see the behavior as the problem, we misunderstand children. We miss the mark. So challenging behaviors not only persist but escalate and become more destructive, and intensify. Behavior-based approach is not effective. In no particular order here are the 6 emotional needs: Safety Respect Acceptance Autonomy Significance Connection If you want to learn more and go deeper, get The Why of Challeneging Behaviors and the How-to of Dealing with Them now. SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 18 exisiting memebers who contribute $92 towards our monthly goal of $500. Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Do you suffer from anxiety? We are living through one of the most anxious periods any of us can remember. Dr. Jud Brewer, renowned addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist explains how to uproot anxiety at its source, using brain-based techniques and small hacks accessible to anyone. He has created a step-by-step program that anyone can use to feel better. He teaches us how to map our brains to discover our triggers, defuse them with the simple but powerful practice of curiosity, and train our brains using mindfulness. LINKS AND RESOURCES Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind and The Craving Mind book by Dr. Jud Brewer Eat Right Now on the App Store Unwinding Anxiety on the App Store Craving To Quit® SUPPORT THE SHOW Become a patron on Patreon.com Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thanks for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

We all have a story. Your life story defines who you are. And only you can tell your own story. By sharing it you not only release painful feelings, make sense of what happened to you, gain a new perspective, form a new meaning, but you access a possibility of transforming your life. Whether you share your story orally or in a written form, it has healing power. Do you have an untold story inside that is itching to be shared? Kristy Lauricella and Judy Rabinor on the healing power of writing and sharing your stroy. By revisiting and revising our stories and the meaning we attach to them is how our stories become one of growth as well as hardship. "Meaning is not something we stumble upon. It's something we make. " Hope Edelman Past Episodes with Kristy and Judith Ep. 307: How Mother Loss Shapes Who we Become with Judith Rabinor and Hope Edelman Ep. 300: The Big 300th with Kristy Lauricella Ep. 290: The Complicated Mother-Daguther Realtionship with Judith Rabinor Ep. 195: Why We Need to Connect More with Kristy Lauricella Ep. 273: Coping with Loss with Kristy Lauricella SUPPORT THE SHOW Become a patron on Patreon.com Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast OUT SPONSOR Athletic Greens is offering my listeners a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Simply visit athleticgreens.com/authenticparenting WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thanks for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Have you noticed that your ability to pay attention is collapsing? Did you know that in the US teenagers can focus on one task for only sixty-five seconds at a time and office workers average only three minutes? Like so many of us Johann Hari was finding that constantly switching from device to device and tab to tab was a diminishing and depressing way to live. He went on a quest to find out what was happening to our attention and he wrote a phenomenal book called Stolen Focus. He argues in the book that your focus has been stolen by some powerful external forces. Hari found that there are 12 deep causes of this crisis, from the decline of the mind-wandering to rising pollution, all of which have rubbed some of our attention. Hari says that we can reclaim our focus-as individuals and as a society-if we are determined to fight for it. SOME KEY POINTS Why do we need to pay attention to our attention? How childhood is happening behind closed doors and the lack of free unstructured play and movement is affecting kids The myth of multitasking and the switch cost effect Why tech is not the only invader of your attention And why the solutions require both individual and collective approaches And so much more GET HIS BOOKS God Save the Queen? Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention and Hhow to think Deeply Again SUPPORT THE SHOW Become a patron on Patreon.com Make a one-time donation in any amount to say "Thank you!" FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast OUT SPONSOR Athletic Greens is offering my listeners a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Simply visit athleticgreens.com/authenticparenting WORK WITH ME I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes USA listeners call 732-763-2576 right now and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website. Add your voice. It matters! Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thanks for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

Parenting is hard. But being a parent doesn't mean you have to stifle your most basic wants and needs. It doesn't mean it has to consume you to the degree of self-sacrifice and martyrdom and you definitely don't need to lose yourself to be a good parent. Ericka Souter, author of How to Have a Baby and a Life on why being good for our kids has to become synonymous with being good to ourselves. If you are not happy, your children know it, moreover children suffer if the people taking care of them are not taking care of themselves. Mothers who feel depressed are more likely to have children who act out or have other behavioral problems. Researchers say that a mom's satisfaction with her life is more important to a child's social and emotional skills than how much money she has, the amount of time she spends with them, or whether she is working or a stay-at-home mom. SOME KEY POINTS Why you need a village and how to cultivate support for yourself When it comes to friendships quality over quantity The 3 conditions for lasting relationships The surprising truth about sexless marriages and how to have more sex How despite progress, women still bear heavier load than men in balancing work and family How not having a child should be an option too What do women talk about at NotMom Summit Why the parents in US proved to be the most miserable in the world OTHER EPISODES YOU MAY ENJOY 64: Why You Should Let it Go And Be Happy 72: From Coping to Thriving: How to turn Self-Care into a Way of Life 97: Why You Might Be Feeling Tired, Negative and Overwhelmed 147: What Does Self-Care Really Mean 144: Mommy Burnout BECOME A SUPPORTER OF THE SHOW You can choose a level of support on Patreon.com by becoming a patron. One time donations are also deeply appreciated. Give from the heart now. FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast OUT SPONSOR Athletic Greens is offering my listeners a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Simply visit athleticgreens.com/authenticparenting ABOUT ME I help overwhelmed, frustrated parents who want to parent differently than their parents, make sense of their early childhood experiences, connect to their authentic self and their children on a deeper level, reduce stress, bring more ease, calm and joy into their lives by yelling less, and practicing non-punitive discipline. WORK WITH ME Listeners of the podcast get 10% on my coaching services. I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! Click here to get started with my Introductory (3 Sessions) Package or REAL Change Package - 6 Private Coaching Sessions Court-Ordered Parenting Classes (in person NJ, NY,and PA residents only) YOUR FEEDBACK IS VALUABLE! Do you have a comment, question, or a takeaway about this episode or the podcast in general? USA listeners call 732-763-2576 right now and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website. Add your voice. It matters! Email: info@authenticparenting.com SUBMIT YOUR PARENTING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED IN THE SHOW: Voicemail: 732-763-2576 Speak Pipe for sending audio messages Email: info@authenticparenting.com CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA Authentic Parenting on Facebook Instagram NEED PARENTING SUPPORT? Join the Authentic Parenting FREE online community Thanks for listening! With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com