We know that healthcare workers are burned out and exhausted. Provider mental health is a huge issue… but are the institutions listening? This week, burnout expert Dr. Jessi Gold talks to us about (obviously) burnout, but also ways HCW* can start to change the workplace culture into one that actually values their human workforce. Sound unlikely? Listen in to find out.  *We talk a bunch about HCW in this episode, but the topics involved are relevant to everyone who feels even a little bit exhausted by the pressures of the world! Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: Can you be emotionless and still practice good medicine? How medical training seeks out perfectionists, and then uses that perfectionism as a way to wring out even more work  Why you can’t self-care your way out of burnout, but you can support yourself inside the catastrophe Ways to get the administration to start valuing their workforce (spoiler: it involves speaking the language of capitalism!)  Notable quotes: “The mental health system is broken. You can’t fix it by breaking yourself.” - Dr. Jessi Gold. “Let's borrow from the c-suite, let’s borrow tactics from the upper levels of the industry - they do have a balance sheet at the end of the day. They need to know there’s economic benefit to valuing peoples’ humanity and their limits. Denying people their humanity costs us.” - Megan Devine Guest Bio: Dr. Jessi Gold is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St Louis. She’s a nationally recognized expert on healthcare worker mental health and burnout (particularly during the pandemic). Her work can be found in major publications like The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and TIME. Find the “burned out burnout expert” at www.Dr.JessiGold.com and on TW @drjessigoldQuestions to Carry with you:Tell yourself the truth about one thing. Why is that important? Listen to the episode to find out. Resources: For resources related to healthcare worker mental health, check out:  physician’s support line on social @shrinkrapping American Foundation for Suicide Prevention on social @afspnational provider resource hub developed by @theNAMedicine)  Emotional PPE  Looking for more training as you navigate grief on the job and in your life? Check out megandevine.co for consulting, resources, and upcoming trainings  Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What should you do if someone wants to be friends, but you’re not into it? Boundaries are part of all human relationships, but they are TRICKY. This week, part two of our show about boundaries - how to make them, how to keep them, and sometimes, how to breach them - with special guest Dr. Alexandra Solomon, host of Reimagining Love.Notable quotes: Boundaries are essentially “need negotiation” between humans. - MeganWant your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: Starting over in a new place with new friends  Why we so often confuse boundaries with being mean or rude The power of social observation to gather data (Megan’s go-to move!)  Scripts for saying “no thank you” to a potential friendship when that feels both mean and necessary Guest Bio:Dr Alexandra Solomon is one of the most trusted voices in the world of relationships. She’s a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and the author of two bestselling books: Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. You might know her from her popular instagram channel, or from her podcast, Reimagining Love. Find her at https://dralexandrasolomon.com. Questions to Carry with you:Discovering your existing boundaries in disguise! Plus communicating one new boundary. You’ve got this. Resources: Want to train with Dr. Solomon? Check out her current training courses at https://dralexandrasolomon.comNeed a place to tell the whole truth about what you’re going through? Check out the Writing Your Grief course and community, from Megan Devine. Registration for the next session is open now. Looking for more training as you navigate grief on the job and in your life? Check out megandevine.co for upcoming workshops Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when someone cuts you out of their life? How do you back away slowly from someone you really don’t want to be around? Boundaries are part of all human relationships, but they are TRICKY. This week, part one of our show about boundaries - how to make them, how to keep them, and sometimes, how to breach them - with special guest Dr. Alexandra Solomon, host of Reimagining Love.Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: Why relational self-awareness is the key to all good relationships Can step-parents and adult step-kids get along after a loss in the family?  Why relationships based on conscious choice are so important How to negotiate the relationship you want when the other people maybe don’t want you around The difference between “letting go of outcome” and setting yourself up for success Guest Bio:Dr Alexandra Solomon is one of the most trusted voices in the world of relationships. She’s a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and the author of two bestselling books: Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. You might know her from her popular instagram channel, or from her podcast, Reimagining Love. Find her at https://dralexandrasolomon.com. Questions to Carry with you:Check back next week for part two of this special episode on boundaries to get your Questions to Carry With YouResources: Want to train with Dr. Solomon? Check out her current training courses at https://dralexandrasolomon.comNeed a place to tell the whole truth about what you’re going through? Check out the Writing Your Grief course and community, from Megan Devine. Registration for the next session is open now. Looking for more training as you navigate grief on the job and in your life? Check out megandevine.co for upcoming workshops Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your typical small talk is LOADED with inappropriate questions. Think about it: you ask a person you just met whether they’re married or if they have kids. If they’re new in town, you ask them why they moved here. The answers to those questions are rarely simple, and they sometimes lead to awkward, intimate conversations - right there, next to the bean dip. This week, we explore keeping secrets - in small talk, in the workplace, in families, and out in the wider world with listener questions about outing someone’s sexuality after their death, and whether you should tell the truth or preserve your privacy when someone asks how many kids you have. Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: The difference between “secret” and “private” Whether you should out someone’s gender or sexuality after their death Why it’s ok to only tell part of the story (or none of it) when someone asks a personal question based on your public information Where to go for help if you feel like you can’t tell the people around you what you’re going through The real problem with small talk  Questions to Carry with you:Building a small talk library of questions that don’t suck: a group projectResources: Free Mom Hugs is the best place I know if you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community and feel like no one’s on your side. You might also check with the Trevor Project, GLAAD, or google LGBTQIA+ resources in your area and online. That scene I reference from Schitt’s Creek is in season five, episode 11 (Meet the Parents). Check it out on Netflix. Wish you could connect with grieving people who truly, truly get how complicated death and grief can be? The next session of the Writing Your Grief course and community is open for registration now. Your loss is unique, and you are three thousand percent definitely not alone. Clinician or medical provider? Be sure to visit megandevine.co to learn about trainings and resources to help your clients navigate these issues. Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You know what makes the scary stuff easier to talk about? Making it fun. This week, my fellow “fun and scary” psychotherapist, Kat DeFatta, joins us to talk about body image, disordered eating, and how to help a friend facing a tough diagnosis. Sounds scary, but we had a lot of fun making this show. Come listen. Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: Why brand new psychotherapist Kat DeFatta said she’d “never work with grief” (spoiler: she knows better now)  How to support a friend going through a health crisis when you’re concerned about potential disordered eating How much exercise is “too much exercise” when you’re dealing with a tough life experience Why grief is always in the room, no matter what your clients or patients present with Notable quote: “The question here isn't, "Why the addiction?" It's, "Where is some unmet need causing you pain?" The question isn't, "Why do you have a negative body image?" The question is, "Where are you hurting?" - Kat DeFatta Guest Bio:Psychotherapist Kathryn DeFatta is the host of the You Need Therapy Podcast, where she brings the kind of rare, meaningful conversations of the therapy office out into the world. Find her at www.YouNeedTherapyPodcast.comQuestions to Carry with you:Making conversation with your body: how exactly do we do that? Resources: Need a place to tell the whole truth about what you’re going through? Check out the Writing Your Grief course and community, from Megan Devine. Registration for the next session is open now. Looking for more training as you navigate grief on the job and in your life? Check out megandevine.co for upcoming workshops Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coSince we’ve already got February 14th assigned as a holiday, I’d like to claim Valentine’s Day not for romance, but for all love. Let’s make it a real sacred occasion - one that helps create a world where there’s more than enough love and support to go around. This episode is basically what I’d give for my TED talk, if I had one. Don’t miss it. Grief is part of love, so of course we’re talking about grief today. We navigate some clinical concerns as they relate to love, and we throw in a little bit of social justice here too, because what is justice but love in action. tada! We've got an episode suitable for february 14th, and we won’t even need conversation hearts to do it. In this episode we cover: Why comparing divorce to death, or pet loss to child loss, is a Very. Bad. Idea. (usually) Is it ok to be sad about a musician or actor’s death, even if you never met them?  How to treat compassion like an abundant resource AND have good boundaries all at the same  Ways to navigate the shortage of compassion in your clients, patients, friends, or yourself The path to the love-filled, support-rich world we all want (it’s not easy, but it’s worth it)  Notable quote: “It sounds pretty woo but compassion really is an expandable resource. Practicing inclusion and validation means people feel heard, and heard people hear people, which means the whole culture starts to change from one of vindictive “how dare you feel that way!” to at worst, a neutral, impartial kindness, and at best - well, being generous like this creates a world built and sustained by love. Happy Valentine’s Day.” - Megan DevineQuestions to Carry with you:Fun ideas to help you seed love and compassion in the world, plus the one habit to break and re-makeResources: Love in action! Check out this exceptionally non-extensive list of people to learn from as we grow the love filled world we all want: Rachel Cargle, Alok Menon, Alice Wong, Free Mom Hugs, Farmer Veteran Coalition, Natalie Weaver, & Resting WatersTerminology update: in this episode, I use the term “gender fluid,” but the term gender-expansive is more accurate.The “is there love available here?” question comes from Mark Silver.Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coEpisode Description:A bonus episode for Valentine’s week - the love story at the core of Here After and all of Megan’s work. This episode is unlike our normal weekly show. Tune in, and let us know if you’d like more occasional bonus episodes.Resources: This essay first appeared in very slightly different form on Modern LossGet in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s bonus episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s no secret that healthcare professionals and caregivers of all kinds are stretched beyond their limits. We can’t look to healthcare systems themselves to give us the care and attention we need, so where CAN we go for support (and answers)? Don’t miss this week’s episode with guests Koshin Paley Ellison and Chodo Robert Campbell of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coIn this episode we cover: why it’s important to look beyond the identified patient to the invisible web of caregivers the realities of caregiver burnout and stress the one practice you can do even - and especially - when you have no time to care for yourself do you stay or do you go? Making decisions for yourself inside this healthcare system catastrophe Guest info and resources:Sensei Chodo Robert Campbell is co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care — a non-profit organization that focuses on the teaching of Zen and Buddhist practice with the goal to make them more accessible to people all around the world. His passion lies in bereavement counseling and advocating for change in the way our healthcare institutions work with the dying. Find Chodo and the NYZC @newyorkzencenter on IG, and online at zencare.org Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and Certified Chaplaincy Educator. Koshin is a world-renowned thought leader in contemplative care. He is the author of Wholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up and the co-editor of Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care. His work has been featured in the New York Times, PBS, CBS Sunday Morning, Tricycle among other publications. Find him on IG @koshinpaleyellisonIf you work in healthcare, I very strongly recommend you check out New York Zen Center’s Contemplative Medicine Fellowship. Registrations for the 2022-2023 fellowship are open now.  To hear one of my favorite passages of all time, read by Chodo Robert Campbell, check out the first video at this link. The whole video is a lovely teaching from the founders of the Zen Center for Contemplative Care. All of the Zen Center’s offerings, from books to support groups to ongoing educational opportunities can be found at zencare.org. Questions to Carry with you:special bonus questions and meditations from our guests! I’ll be back next week with my own QtCWY, but don’t miss this edition!Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you go on after your most transformational experience - motherhood - turns into your worst nightmare? Emmy nominated journalist René Marsh discusses storytelling, pediatric cancer, and becoming an advocate for the cause that broke her heart. “I wrote this in my journal: if I survive this, it's not because I found some great tool to survive it. It’s that I figured out how to position my stance to carry this load forever.” - René MarshIn this episode we cover: how the experience of deep loss changes who you are as a storyteller - personally and professionally finding joy in advocacy, even though you wish you never had to be an advocate at all  what CNN correspondent Rene Marsh wants other journalists to know about grief - on the job and off and listener questions on the benefits of journaling, plus managing personal emotions as an advocate Guest bio:Emmy nominated CNN correspondent, René Marsh, has been writing and telling stories for nearly two decades. Her journalism covers climate change and environmental justice, along with other heavy hitting modern issues. Rene’s son, Blake, was diagnosed with brain cancer at only nine months old, and passed away in April of 2021 at the age of two. She’s an outspoken advocate for pediatric cancer awareness, hoping to help families just like hers get the support - and the research - they deserve. To watch Rene’s interviews on grief and advocacy, click here. To learn about Rene’s work to raise funding and awareness for pediatric cancer research, and to order her book, The Miracle Workers, visit renemarsh.com. Proceeds from the book go to fund pediatric cancer research. ResourcesAre you a journalist? Check out this guide to reporting on death.Looking for a welcoming, inclusive community of writers? Registration is open now for the February session of Writing Your Grief Learn more about Dr. Lonise Bias (mentioned in the episode) at the Bias Foundation Questions to Carry with you:Emotionally devastating stories can leave you feeling helpless. This week - one action to take that helps combat that feeling of helplessness. Don’t miss it! Get in touch! Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the show, we're talking about something that pretty much everyone can relate to: wonky interpersonal relationships. Even in the best of times, human relationships can be tricky. Honestly, it's a wonder we create the social bonds we do considering how many things get in the way of a good connection. Tune in to find out how to help nice people get better at helping you, and how to step out of endless arguments that aren’t going anywhere. Don’t miss it! In this episode we cover: why it’s so hard to describe your personal experience so other people get it how to overcome that “crisis of translation” (including a shout out to one of my all-time favorite movies, Powder - in which I misremember who was actually in that movie) the one communication tool that helps make interpersonal communication a whole lot easier (it’s a useful trick - promise!) how to enforce your boundaries without getting into endless arguments with people who just won’t listen  IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: in the show, I say that Cher starred in the movie, Powder. Cher is not in the 1995 movie, Powder - I had a memory glitch. Still a great movie though. Questions to Carry with you:playful, low stakes ways to practice the communication tools we talked about in this week’s show. Give it a go! Resources:For ideas on how to help a grieving partner, check out this article in GQ magazine . Lots of stuff in the article applies to the ways you might support anyone you care about (not just a partner) Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.coFor more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.coFor grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TWCheck out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.