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Date Your Wife

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Sep 17, 2019 • 34min

Quantum | Date Your Wife | EP 089

*NEW EPISODE* The White’s are back in the studio with a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, fresh and on point in the style you have come to love! We learn what has been transpiring in their lives since the arrival of baby Isla, what postpartum life is like, why Danielle feels they should show themselves some grace, why Garrett referred to Danielle as Tom Brady the morning after their Anniversary, and much, much more. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: The Miracle  Nearly all parents can agree that the first few days and weeks of having a new baby in the house is a huge adjustment for everyone. This one investment has made all the difference and is what Garrett refers to as a life preserver. What is it? It’s a Snoo. Adds Danielle, “It’s a miracle. You zip the baby in so they can’t wriggle out of their blanket, and it plays white noise while gently rocking them.” QUESTION What gadgets have helped you with your newborn? Point #2: The Meltdown Garrett created the “Don’t Be a Dick While Your Wife is Pregnant” challenge which he managed to pull off up until he fumbled on the second-yard line. “She’s two weeks postpartum and something inside of me snaps. I am obsessed with sex and I get to this angry place.” Danielle: You did the weird thing that makes a woman feel more guilty. Then I had a postpartum meltdown explosion. I was postpartum, mixed with newborn emotions, and my eyes and forehead were weeping in ways they never had. I bawled my eyes out for an hour with a lot of fuck you’s in between. QUESTION What did you experience as a couple during the early postpartum days & weeks? Point #3: The Anniversary After their huge blowout, Danielle knew it was time for them to get back on track doing the things that worked for them in their relationship: this podcast, Date Nights, and Sex. She was beginning to feel more like a woman rather than an “Umpa Loompa” as she put on her makeup, pulled up her Spanx, and went out on a date with Garrett. She also realized that they needed to give themselves some grace. Garrett: We got back on track sexually, and then we had what I’m going to call the Quantum Night, Quantum standing for four – the Cuatro night. It’s in my favorite files. I can put out imagery and live video footage – an hour of it. That was so amazing. That was the best ever! QUESTION What was it that brought you back on track sexually after the births of your babies? Point #4: The Green Light Does the woman initiate? Do they wait for the guy to initiate? What can she do to signal that the doors are open? What should he NEVER do if he wants to initiate sex? Men, if you’re trying to get your wife in the mood and immediately start rubbing or slapping her butt, or go in for the boobs, THAT IS A HUGE TURN OFF! DON’T DO THAT! Instead, come to her and say something like, “Let me rub your shoulders.” This works like a charm for most women. QUESTION What are the Red Lights and Green Lights inside of your sex life? Point #5: Sneak Preview Here’s a sneak preview into the world of the White’s and their respective businesses. Garrett: WARRIOR GREENS – Kitchen-style documentary on the history of Warrior Greens and how they support the conversation of CORE 4 for both men & women. BECOME A KING Series – The seven Pits and Power moves of married businessmen with children. Danielle: Creator of Natural Beaded Rows (NBR), Host of the Big Money Stylist Podcast, Hair Education (NBR & BMS), Hairline (ISLA), Ower of DKW Styling Salon. Go to dkwstying.com to find out more. QUESTION What are you creating in your lives either as a couple or individually? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about what keeps you on track as a couple. Date Night Topic: Come up with some unique-to-you Green Lights. Quote of the Week: “The game was a little rough. My brake pads were completely exhausted, and I was tearing apart my rotors with no brake pads. I didn’t realize I had run out of runway. All of my will power and “white-knuckling it” was gone. Something shifted in my brain. The baby’s out, the vagina’s open for business, why am I still being rejected?” –Garrett J White “You gotta be the bigger person, ladies.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com
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Sep 10, 2019 • 31min

Primal Connection | Date Your Wife | Ep 088

*EPISODE REPEAT FROM OCTOBER 2018* On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level. ______________________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: Weekend Getaways At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship. Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any type of vacation. QUESTION When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway? Point #2: Refresh and Unplug In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days. When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug. QUESTION What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways? Point #3: Can’t vs Can You’ll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other: you don’t have time, the conditions aren’t right, it’s either all or nothing. A lot of times, we focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it’s even easier to justify why you can’t do something. QUESTION What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse? Point #4: Sexual Distance When Danielle feels like they’re in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. “What were the behaviors I was doing that I don’t do anymore?” Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy. QUESTION What are some things you did when you were dating that you’re no longer doing? Point #5: Primal Connection If you don’t get space away from your current environment, you can’t return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. If you’re not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you’re simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection. QUESTION What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse? Communication Challenge: Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating. Date Night Topic: Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months. Quote of the Week: “I’m constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle.” –Garrett J White “Let’s hit the reset button before it gets too far into the ‘fuck you’ mode.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com
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Sep 3, 2019 • 23min

Surrender & Simplify | Date Your Wife | EP 087

*REPEAT EPISODE FROM NOVEMBER 2018* As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, realizing she may have stepped out a little too far. The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it. QUESTION What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?   Point #2: The Money Game During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working. Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted, and his father would pay the bills. QUESTION What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play? Point #3: Mommy Guilt Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and a better person. QUESTION As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?   Point #4: Different AND Equal Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man and the woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home. The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone. QUESTION How do you view your roles as producers?   Point #5: Power and Stress A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working, and it’s actually very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress. QUESTION As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019? Date Night Topic: What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans. Quote of the Week: “If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.” —Garrett J White “Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.” —Danielle K White
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Aug 27, 2019 • 28min

Easier To Be a King in Business Than at Home | Date Your Wife | Ep 086

The topic of money is this week’s conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a marriage relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money.  *EPISODE REPLAY FROM SEP 2018* ________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Catch-22 Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn’t hate the business because that’s what was paying the bills. “I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me.” Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It’s easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home. QUESTION Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back? Point #2: Split in Two Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I’m dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce. Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of “I must pay the bills independent of my wife.” QUESTION How do you as a couple feel about this? Point #3: Wake-Up Call At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn’t sure if their marriage was going to work out. When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls. QUESTION Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband? Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey There’s an artist inside Danielle’s Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. “I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I’m just not attracted to him.” Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there’s not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down. QUESTION How is this dynamic affecting your marriage? Point #5: Friday Night Fights A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up. Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it’s hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid. QUESTION What condition is the foundation of your marriage in? Communication Challenge: Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you’re making or the lack of money you’re making? If you’re a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise. Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you? Quote of the Week: “There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money.” –Garrett J White “When you weren’t my money, you weren’t my honey. When I hold all the control, there’s no chemistry.” –Danielle K White dkwstyling.com betheman.com
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Aug 20, 2019 • 30min

Direct Communication | Date Your Wife | EP 085

Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication. *EPISODE REPLAY FROM OCTOBER 2018*   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she’s a Taurus. “They’re actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way.” In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the ‘dating filter’ before she sends them to Garrett: “If we were dating, would I say this?” QUESTION How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters? Point #2: Don’t Poke the Bear Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode. Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you’re in luck; if I say nothing, you’re shit out of luck. QUESTION What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other? Point #3: Feeling Wanted Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses. Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it’s more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me. QUESTION How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you? Point #4: Direct Communication Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language. I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so. QUESTION In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication? Point #5: Running Man Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn’t commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail. About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in. QUESTION What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage? Communication Challenge: Inside of your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting your marriage? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about this topic: In order to get what I want, we both have to feel wanted. Quote of the Week: “Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you’re not committed to your marriage, or to the person you’re married to, direct communication cannot happen.” –Garrett J White “As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children.” –Danielle K White
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Aug 13, 2019 • 34min

Go In With Love | Date Your Wife | EP 084

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Parenting Point #1: Morning Chaos Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed. Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It’s almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance. QUESTION How are your children similar? How are they different? Point #2: Unsolicited Advice Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the ‘right’ thing to his children. He’s had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles. Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids. QUESTION How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way? Point #3: I Love You No Matter What If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. “If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world’s problems.” Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, “I love you, no matter what.” No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them. QUESTION If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be? Point #4: Boxes and Checklists Just like in education, there’s a box that people try to put their kids into of ‘this is what it looks like to be successful.” And anything that doesn’t fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right. For most parents, they’re always trying to get it “right” with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it ‘right’ based on a checklist that never ends, they don’t focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children. QUESTION How are you keeping your children inside a box? Point #5: Core Beliefs Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you ‘should’ teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life. I’m convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do. QUESTION What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people? Communication Challenge: What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them? Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple. Quote of the Week: “I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man.” –Garrett J White “She’s not mine to manipulate and control. I’m there to guide and lead her; to show up and do the best I can as a parent.” –Danielle K White
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Aug 6, 2019 • 1h 1min

Slip ‘N Slide | Date Your Wife | Ep 083

Grab some popcorn, folks, and get ready for another off the charts episode of the always spicy and highly entertaining Date Your Wife podcast, featuring the refreshing “tell it like it is” co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White. They’re at it once again as they delve into Garrett’s self-proclaimed favorite topic of Sex. Danielle calls Garrett out on his creepy strip shows in his weird thong and invites him to become more comfortable with his sexuality, and Garrett says he doesn’t want empty sex – aka vaginal masturbation. Fan favorites Quickie Quickie Porn Star and TTF are back in the mix, and there’s a new arrival on the scene: Slip ‘n Slide. *EPISODE REPLAY FROM MARCH OF 2018.   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Sexy Seduction 101 Being sexy is as simple as walking around in a new bra and underwear while casually asking, “Have you seen my toothbrush?” Garrett suggests saving money by skipping the bra and just buying the panties. Sometimes it’s a ‘top-stays-on-bottom-comes-off’ kind of night. Other times, it’s an everything comes off, keep the lights on and do a little dancing around kind of night. Most women need a little wining and dining before the main course. Take her there just a little bit and then worry about yourself. QUESTION   How have QQPS (Quickie Quickie Porn Star) and TTF (Touch Me-Tell Me-Fuck Me) become game-changers in your marital sex life? Point #2: Sex Therapy Is Not About Sex Throughout their marriage, Danielle had never felt there was a safe space to talk about sex with Garrett, making it awkward for her to even bring up. She found herself starting to believe his story about her that she didn’t want to have sex. Sex therapy for the White’s yields the single greatest breakthrough for Garrett after Danielle divulges a piece of information that instantly shreds a story he created during his first marriage and brought with him into theirs. Garrett creates a new story which shifts and rocks their world. QUESTION   Men: What is your sexual story? Point #3: The Perfect Storm As a 15-year-old Mormon teen who has been raised that sex before marriage is taboo, Garrett divulged to his parents his plan to have sex with his 18-year-old girlfriend after the upcoming Prom. He immediately gets shipped away to live with his grandparents in Utah for a couple of months, and as a result, never has a conversation about it or closure with his girlfriend whom he has been dating for a year and is madly in love with. Garrett dates his first wife under the umbrella that says sexual relations are taboo before marriage. Yet, they fool around and have sexual relations, lie about it to their religious leaders, adding to the guilt and shame created when he was 15. Sex in his marriage with Danielle becomes problematic, as Garrett carries into it this brewing cesspool of guilt, shame, and pain, while Danielle, because of her Mormon upbringing, feels like she has to stifle the sexual feelings that come naturally to her. QUESTION   How has your upbringing shaped and influenced your attitude, beliefs, and stories about sex? Point #4: Written in the Stars In her astrological studies, Danielle is validated by her discoveries that, as a Taurus woman, she is very sensual, loves cuddling, and is very happily satisfied with her traditional approach to sex because a good thing never gets old. She’s been changing it up with QQPS, which Garrett loves. Communication for Gemini’s is huge, and they love to be emotionally stimulated more than anything else. Garrett realized that he had gotten so disrespectful as a husband and exposes the lie that all he wanted was someone to have sex with every day. What has exploded their sex life is their connection to truth. QUESTION   What is written in the stars about you individually that resonates with you, that can serve you and your spouse in your marriage? Point #5: Your Story is Your Biggest Problem Garrett: I didn’t know what our relationship would be if we weren’t always arguing about having sex. Danielle: I was fearful and wondering if we have a new story, does that mean we have a new story with somebody else? There was a lot of action and collision that had to happen, which were really a pursuit of truth underneath the surface of all the lies that we were telling, which came in two forms: the blatant lies we were telling and the stories that we started to believe. Your stories are powerful enough to convert your husband or wife to believe. QUESTION   What are the lies that the collision in your marriage is trying to uncover? Communication Challenge: What is your sexual story? Do the investigation on your own about your own story, and then in a conversation with your spouse, share your results with them. Date Night Topic: On your date night, be open to having a conversation about how the stories you tell are your biggest problems. Quote of the Week: “We had come to the point where our stories had become so intense that it was almost easier for us to burn the story and burn the relationship…and just try again with somebody else. But the crazy part was, guess what we would have taken with us? The same fuckin story.” —Garrett J White   “I bet a lot of men feel like that towards their wives [I need a vagina. We’re married. Your vagina is mine.] It devalues the actual qualities that they want and need to create fulfillment, and it devalues those qualities in themselves. They start looking at and treating their wives as objects. I felt that way and was thinking ‘you better give me more credit than just being a good piece of ass.” —Danielle K White    
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Jul 30, 2019 • 38min

Addicted to Growth | Date Your Wife | Ep 082

*PODCAST REPLAY* Today we’re going to share with you an intense, potent and powerful interview with Danielle at the Warrior Empire event in December 2016. It was the first time Danielle took to the stage where she talked about what it’s like to be a woman married to a man living the Warrior’s Way. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: When a Wife Fights the Change Her Husband Wants to Make In the beginning, Danielle was completely against how Garrett was showing up. He was going to self-help seminars and making her feel guilty for not going with him. He continued challenging her, which caused her to reevaluate who she was and who she wanted to become. Danielle: Put yourself in your wife’s shoes. If she started implementing change, how would you react? People, in general, don’t like change because it’s scary. From a wife’s perspective, you can’t overwhelm her, but rather lead by example in the same way you would lead children. QUESTION Gentlemen, what is the way you initiate growth and change in your partner? Point #2: Choosing In There came a time when Danielle had to choose to be all in for herself AND their marriage. Garrett was moving in the direction he was going, and he was committed over time to a specific path. At the same time, they were trying to recover from chaos as a couple. Danielle: I felt that both of us were fighting and neither of us was ready to give up. We were both not necessarily choosing in, but we weren’t out and were still very much connected. All it takes is that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild. QUESTION How can you “choose in” to your marriage everyday to keep the flame burning or to rekindle a fading flame? Point #3: Sex and Marriage It’s all about give and take. You have to play the role a little bit and let go of your ego. In order to build that sexual chemistry that seems to leave after you get married, think about the feeling you had when you were dating and do what you did back then: you got your car washed, you got a new pair of shoes, you planned the date, you were flirty. How did sex therapy help us? I felt like I could say what I was thinking without worrying about upsetting Garrett. Having a therapist is like having a sounding board where it’s immediately less triggering for both sides. That being said, Garrett got triggered at one point during a session and jumped up and did pushups because he was so pissed. QUESTION What do you do to keep the sexual chemistry strong in your relationship? Point #4: Collision Danielle: Whether the wife works or not, when couples grow, the wife goes into this “I can do everything” mode where it seems kind of masculine. It’s actually more cold and calculated where we don’t come across as very feminine, but instead, we’re in focus mode trying to get shit done. Garrett: Gentlemen, the more you encourage your wife to change, the more she will rise in power, and the more collisions are going to take place. As Danielle has risen in power as a creator and a producer, her masculinity has also risen, so there’s this collision that exists inside of her. Sometimes the collision we experience is not as lovers or as a couple, but instead as two masculine energies colliding. QUESTION What happens when you collide with your spouse? Point #5: Living the Warrior’s Way Danielle: I’m addicted to the high of growing where it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. Progressing as a person is now a high for me. How can I stay where I am when the sky’s the limit? Where things were once scary and chaotic in our life and relationship, we’re now in a much healthier space. I look at where we are now and the only thing I feel is gratitude, humility, and excitement. If this has happened in the last five years, what’s going to happen in the next five years? I get glimpses of the future sometimes and I’m like, “Oh shit, that’s so cool!” QUESTION How have you and your spouse changed as a direct result of living the Warrior’s Way? Communication Challenge: Take some time to have a conversation around this idea of collision. How can you use this tool to better serve your relationship? Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, take a trip down memory lane and talk about what you both used to do in the early days of your dating and start implementing those things to rekindle and ignite the flame of sexual chemistry between you. Quote of the Week: “Once men experience Warrior, they become more invested in their children, which produces a new kind of chaos while they figure out how to balance this with their role as a husband, and as a hunter and provider.” —Garrett J White “No matter who you’re with, you’re going to have problems. With Garrett and I, it made more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground.” —Danielle K White
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Jul 23, 2019 • 27min

Cross the Line | Date Your Wife | Ep 081

Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing... all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week's podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication. * This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018.   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight, and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets. QUESTION When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel? Point #2: Sugar ‘n Spice Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it’s everything! Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is “I fucking hate you,” which turns into “I fucking love you.” QUESTION How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy? Point #3: Love Notes Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he’s having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language. QUESTION What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes? Point #4: Give and Take Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that. QUESTION Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them? Point #5: Dance With Me Garrett: As you can tell, we’re still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner. Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we’re married to want to receive. QUESTION What does your daily dance of communication look like? Communication Challenge: Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, “I love you,” but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse’s? Do you think one is wrong and one is right? Date Night Topic: For women, what is your husband’s love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife? Quote of the Week: “I’m essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning.” —Garrett J White “We’ll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home.” —Danielle K White
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Jul 16, 2019 • 37min

Baby Isla | Date Your Wife | EP 080

Welcome to a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast! The White’s are back after the recent birth of baby Isla, and in classic White style, share stories and details of their birth experience. As a bonus, we get a recommendation from Garrett for his new favorite breakfast burrito and a surprise prediction.   Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Change of Plans In the final weeks leading up to baby Isla’s birth, Danielle began experiencing some health issues, which ultimately led to an early inducement and delivery. “I always had this intuitive feeling that she would come a little early.” Danielle had considered doing a natural birth due to the not so great experiences with epidurals during her previous two births. But with the Pitocin speeding up and magnifying the contractions, she opted for an epidural at the eleventh hour. However, it only reached mid-thigh, which made it possible for Danielle to feel the intense pain and ebb & flow of each contraction. QUESTION What types of births have you and your spouse experienced?   Point #2: ISLA Hand-tied Hairline With 48 hours to come up with a name for her new hand-tied hairline, Danielle decided to name it after their daughter, Isla. “Most people think we named the baby after the hairline, but it was the other way around.” “It was so ironic that Isla came out with this super amazing hair that’s super thick, platinum blonde. It’s so cute! She’s so teeny and has the full head of hair!” QUESTION Were your babies born with or without hair? Point #3: Skin-to-Skin Garrett is celebrating the fact that he did not pass out as he did with their second baby. “I stood there like a champion holding Danielle’s left leg throughout labor. She didn’t even know I was in the room, yet there I was holding the left leg amidst the most intense, fierce pushing I have seen from my wife.” “Watching my wife naturally go through contractions was a new experience for me, not to mention the experience immediately following the birth. Instead of the nurses whisking Isla away, the doctor held Isla in front of me and said, “Congratulations, dad. kiss her. He then placed Isla on Danielle's bare chest."   QUESTION What has changed with the births of each of your babies?   Point #4: Grand Production Danielle is recovering really well and has to remind herself to take it easy. “I love the newborn, snuggly phase, but I also love staying busy and active. I’m trying to soak it all in because I know how fast it goes.” It’s been eight years since their last birth and one of the things Danielle had forgotten about which is causing some frustration is how long it takes to get out of the house with a newborn, and how big of a production it is. QUESTION What is your favorite “baby stage?”   Point #5: Another Baby in the Forecast? When asked by Garrett if there was another baby in their future, Danielle replied, “I don’t want to commit. Don’t get snipped on me or anything, but I can’t commit to closing the door AND I can’t commit to having another baby either.” Garrett: Before Baby Isla came out, Danielle said, “I’m done.” But mark my words. By the time Isla is about six years old,  Danielle’s going to want a secondary friend for Isla. My prediction is, Danielle has another baby at age 40.” QUESTION When did you know it was time to have another baby or when it was time to stop? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the different types of birth options available. Date Night Topic: “To have more or not to have more, that is the question.” In a twist from a classic Shakespearian line, what are your thoughts about adding family members? How do you come to an agreement? Quote of the Week: “To sit and look at my daughter on my wife’s chest was amazing! And getting to kiss her right away was amazing! It was so much more intimate, so much more spiritual, so much more connected than any of the other three children’s births.” –Garrett J White “I don’t commit to a lot because once I do, I’m 120% in; this WILL go down. When I commit, I know I’m going to follow through 100%.” —Danielle K White

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