Date Your Wife

Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice. QUESTION What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce? Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?” QUESTION Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy? Point #3: It’s Just How It Is Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed. QUESTION Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?” Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?” QUESTION If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married? Point #5: It’s a Choice Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose. QUESTION What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage? Communication Challenge: How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship. Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship? Quote of the Week: “There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.” —Garrett J White “People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.” —Danielle K White

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: Guilt: The Enemy Danielle hates feeling guilty. “I think guilt is the enemy, and that nothing can pull you into a downward spiral faster than guilt. When I feel guilt, I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. Can I fix it? What can I do NOT to feel this?” Women feel all kinds of guilt, whether it be mommy guilt, business guilt, sex guilt, or even food guilt. When she’s making decisions, Danielle asks herself if this will set her up to have a shitty day the next day. If so, “I have self-control and self-discipline.” QUESTION As a woman, how do you process guilt?   Point #2: Attack With the Stack Guilt plagues guys in a massive way and they, too, experience all kinds of guilt inside of marriage, family, and business. If they work long hours to provide for their family, they feel guilty for being away from them so much. And then, if they’re away and DON’T produce, they feel guilty about that, with an extra dose of shame and worthlessness thrown in. Garrett deals with guilt by using a powerful tool called the Stack. “I ask myself a series of questions that help me flip my guilt. I do this through an app on my cell phone, Attack with the Stack, where I’m able to deal with and process my thoughts and stories.” QUESTION As a man, how do you process guilt? Point #3: The Dream Danielle’s recent dream was like a blockbuster adventure, mystery, and horror movie rolled into one. Garrett & Danielle explore it and the possible meanings it could hold, and he reminds her, “You have dreams, and your dreams mean something.” Danielle: I think this dream came because I have been anxious about work. This year, I have taken on the role of CEO in addition to being a salon owner, an education director, launching my new ISLA hairline, and having a baby. I’ve snapped back strong from this baby, and mentally I feel strong, but I think I was scared that it was going to be too overwhelming. I think I was just scared of the unknown. QUESTION Do you or your spouse have dreams that carry timely messages?   Point #4: Running From Life During an especially difficult three year period for the White’s, Garrett became an ultra-marathon runner, often running up to twenty miles a day. Danielle claims he was running from life. Garrett: Being an ultra-marathon runner was deeply powerful for me. Do you know what it did for me? I learned how to physically hurt for days and days and days on end with no complaint at all. It just fucking hurt. It’s almost like you learn how to hurt and be ok with hurting. QUESTION What do you do to run away from your problems?   Point #5: Every Mom Has a Different Path Garrett & Danielle have a conversation about the different choices women make today as either working-outside-the-home moms, stay-at-home moms, CEO moms, or a combination of these. Garrett feels that many women are miserable, depressed, and selling themselves short when they are stay-at-home moms, although he fully supports any choice women make. Danielle: I love being a mom. I love everything about it. But I also know I love doing stuff for myself. I think a lot of women pursue things outside of being a mom, but they look at it as a hobby. And I did that in the beginning, but then I was faced with a situation where I didn’t know if I was going to stay married.” This is what ultimately birthed NBR, DKW Salon, her education company, and the ISLA hairline. QUESTION How do you both feel about the choices you have made up to this point? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about this phrase, “I wish I could just be a stay-at-home mom.” Does this trigger you? What does it actually mean to you? Date Night Topic:  Who are your super heros? Why?   Quote of the Week:  “I’ll be hurting and suffering in business with so much shit to do, so I’ll take a deep breath and say, ‘There is no finish line, this will not end quickly, this is going to fucking hurt badly, and… it is what it is.” —Garrett J White  “I’m super logical, and I flip things because I hate that feeling of guilt. I know if I take the feeling out of it and logically look at something – even if I’m in the wrong – I can understand it, let go, and try to do better.” —Danielle K White

* New Episode* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.    Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.” QUESTION Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?   Point #2: False Lift When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed. QUESTION What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you? Point #3: Collision The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are. QUESTION Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?   Point #4: Shut Down Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.” QUESTION Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?   Point #5: The Stack Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.” QUESTION How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry? Communication Challenge: Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward. Date Night Topic:  Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on. Quote of the Week:  “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.” —Garrett J White  “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!” —Danielle K White     dateyourwife.com, warriorgreens.com becomeaking.com, dkwstyling.com

It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies. *Episode Repeat from July 2018*     Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:     Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication     In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING     Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child     Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country.   Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child.   QUESTION     What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally?     Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap     Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.”   Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone.   QUESTION     What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no?     Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan     Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her.   Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen. QUESTION     Cell phones and kids – why or why not?     Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies     Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth.   But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies.   QUESTION     What are your parenting strategies?     Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens     Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it.   There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right.   QUESTION     How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse?     Communication Challenge:      Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified team?     Date Night Topic:      To slap or not to slap: why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it?     Quote of the Week:      “Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.” —Garrett J White      “Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.” —Danielle K White

*NEW EPISODE* The White’s are back in the studio with a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, fresh and on point in the style you have come to love! We learn what has been transpiring in their lives since the arrival of baby Isla, what postpartum life is like, why Danielle feels they should show themselves some grace, why Garrett referred to Danielle as Tom Brady the morning after their Anniversary, and much, much more. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: The Miracle  Nearly all parents can agree that the first few days and weeks of having a new baby in the house is a huge adjustment for everyone. This one investment has made all the difference and is what Garrett refers to as a life preserver. What is it? It’s a Snoo. Adds Danielle, “It’s a miracle. You zip the baby in so they can’t wriggle out of their blanket, and it plays white noise while gently rocking them.” QUESTION What gadgets have helped you with your newborn? Point #2: The Meltdown Garrett created the “Don’t Be a Dick While Your Wife is Pregnant” challenge which he managed to pull off up until he fumbled on the second-yard line. “She’s two weeks postpartum and something inside of me snaps. I am obsessed with sex and I get to this angry place.” Danielle: You did the weird thing that makes a woman feel more guilty. Then I had a postpartum meltdown explosion. I was postpartum, mixed with newborn emotions, and my eyes and forehead were weeping in ways they never had. I bawled my eyes out for an hour with a lot of fuck you’s in between. QUESTION What did you experience as a couple during the early postpartum days & weeks? Point #3: The Anniversary After their huge blowout, Danielle knew it was time for them to get back on track doing the things that worked for them in their relationship: this podcast, Date Nights, and Sex. She was beginning to feel more like a woman rather than an “Umpa Loompa” as she put on her makeup, pulled up her Spanx, and went out on a date with Garrett. She also realized that they needed to give themselves some grace. Garrett: We got back on track sexually, and then we had what I’m going to call the Quantum Night, Quantum standing for four – the Cuatro night. It’s in my favorite files. I can put out imagery and live video footage – an hour of it. That was so amazing. That was the best ever! QUESTION What was it that brought you back on track sexually after the births of your babies? Point #4: The Green Light Does the woman initiate? Do they wait for the guy to initiate? What can she do to signal that the doors are open? What should he NEVER do if he wants to initiate sex? Men, if you’re trying to get your wife in the mood and immediately start rubbing or slapping her butt, or go in for the boobs, THAT IS A HUGE TURN OFF! DON’T DO THAT! Instead, come to her and say something like, “Let me rub your shoulders.” This works like a charm for most women. QUESTION What are the Red Lights and Green Lights inside of your sex life? Point #5: Sneak Preview Here’s a sneak preview into the world of the White’s and their respective businesses. Garrett: WARRIOR GREENS – Kitchen-style documentary on the history of Warrior Greens and how they support the conversation of CORE 4 for both men & women. BECOME A KING Series – The seven Pits and Power moves of married businessmen with children. Danielle: Creator of Natural Beaded Rows (NBR), Host of the Big Money Stylist Podcast, Hair Education (NBR & BMS), Hairline (ISLA), Ower of DKW Styling Salon. Go to dkwstying.com to find out more. QUESTION What are you creating in your lives either as a couple or individually? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about what keeps you on track as a couple. Date Night Topic: Come up with some unique-to-you Green Lights. Quote of the Week: “The game was a little rough. My brake pads were completely exhausted, and I was tearing apart my rotors with no brake pads. I didn’t realize I had run out of runway. All of my will power and “white-knuckling it” was gone. Something shifted in my brain. The baby’s out, the vagina’s open for business, why am I still being rejected?” –Garrett J White “You gotta be the bigger person, ladies.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com

*EPISODE REPEAT FROM OCTOBER 2018* On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level. ______________________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: Weekend Getaways At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship. Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any type of vacation. QUESTION When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway? Point #2: Refresh and Unplug In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days. When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug. QUESTION What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways? Point #3: Can’t vs Can You’ll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other: you don’t have time, the conditions aren’t right, it’s either all or nothing. A lot of times, we focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it’s even easier to justify why you can’t do something. QUESTION What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse? Point #4: Sexual Distance When Danielle feels like they’re in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. “What were the behaviors I was doing that I don’t do anymore?” Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy. QUESTION What are some things you did when you were dating that you’re no longer doing? Point #5: Primal Connection If you don’t get space away from your current environment, you can’t return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. If you’re not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you’re simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection. QUESTION What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse? Communication Challenge: Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating. Date Night Topic: Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months. Quote of the Week: “I’m constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle.” –Garrett J White “Let’s hit the reset button before it gets too far into the ‘fuck you’ mode.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com

*REPEAT EPISODE FROM NOVEMBER 2018* As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, realizing she may have stepped out a little too far. The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it. QUESTION What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?   Point #2: The Money Game During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working. Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted, and his father would pay the bills. QUESTION What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play? Point #3: Mommy Guilt Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and a better person. QUESTION As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?   Point #4: Different AND Equal Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man and the woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home. The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone. QUESTION How do you view your roles as producers?   Point #5: Power and Stress A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working, and it’s actually very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress. QUESTION As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019? Date Night Topic: What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans. Quote of the Week: “If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.” —Garrett J White “Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.” —Danielle K White

The topic of money is this week’s conversation inside of the Date Your Wife podcast. The unique dynamics inside of a marriage relationship create a very difficult game for many couples when it comes to the sticky topic of money.  *EPISODE REPLAY FROM SEP 2018* ________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Catch-22 Back in the day, Danielle hated Garrett because he was working so much. But she didn’t hate the business because that’s what was paying the bills. “I got to this place where I felt Garrett loved the business more than he loved me.” Garrett: Men can control what happens in business more than they can control what happens at home. It’s easier to be the King in business than it is to be the King at home. QUESTION Gentlemen, have you lost your crown? What are you going to do to get it back? Point #2: Split in Two Many women who out-produce their husbands are in this space of: How do I deal with my husband who is not being the man? I’m dominating him in business and trying to decide if I should get a divorce. Garrett: When a man allows his wife to split the bills, it splits his power and creates a bit of submission in a weird way. Men, at the primal level, must be okay with the stewardship and responsibility of “I must pay the bills independent of my wife.” QUESTION How do you as a couple feel about this? Point #3: Wake-Up Call At one point in their marriage, Danielle hid how much money she was making. She split up her bank accounts to create a safety net for herself because she wasn’t sure if their marriage was going to work out. When she got triggered about something, she revealed to Garrett that she had made $30k the previous month which served as a wake-up call in the form of a big two by four straight into his balls. QUESTION Ladies, why do you hide your money from your husband? Point #4: Show Me the Money, Honey There’s an artist inside Danielle’s Big Money Stylist network who is outproducing her husband in a massive way. “I love my husband and I want to be more sexual, but I’m just not attracted to him.” Garrett: This is a sticky situation, and there’s not a simple one-cut solution. When Danielle was making more money, her tolerance of behavior by me went down, and her desire to connect with me sexually also went down. QUESTION How is this dynamic affecting your marriage? Point #5: Friday Night Fights A recent fight between Danielle and Garrett would have been the end of their marriage a few years ago. But this time it compelled them and opened them up. Danielle: When your foundation is rocky and an explosion happens, it’s hard to build that back up. Now, we can have a fight and come back and talk about it because our foundation is more solid. QUESTION What condition is the foundation of your marriage in? Communication Challenge: Gentlemen, I want you to have a conversation with your wife about the dynamics of money. What is the connection to the attraction for you and the money you’re making or the lack of money you’re making? If you’re a man and not paying the bills, have that conversation with your wife and just see where it takes you. If you can get her to be honest with you, it may be the prompting that you need to ultimately rise. Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about what you can do to create a stronger foundation inside of your relationship. What does that look like for both of you? Quote of the Week: “There are very few men on this planet who are actually ok with their wives out-fucking producing them. The girl owns the money card AND the vagina card. She owns the victory, the gina, and the money.” –Garrett J White “When you weren’t my money, you weren’t my honey. When I hold all the control, there’s no chemistry.” –Danielle K White dkwstyling.com betheman.com

Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication. *EPISODE REPLAY FROM OCTOBER 2018*   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she’s a Taurus. “They’re actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way.” In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the ‘dating filter’ before she sends them to Garrett: “If we were dating, would I say this?” QUESTION How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters? Point #2: Don’t Poke the Bear Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode. Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you’re in luck; if I say nothing, you’re shit out of luck. QUESTION What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other? Point #3: Feeling Wanted Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses. Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it’s more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me. QUESTION How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you? Point #4: Direct Communication Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language. I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so. QUESTION In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication? Point #5: Running Man Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn’t commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail. About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in. QUESTION What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage? Communication Challenge: Inside of your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting your marriage? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about this topic: In order to get what I want, we both have to feel wanted. Quote of the Week: “Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you’re not committed to your marriage, or to the person you’re married to, direct communication cannot happen.” –Garrett J White “As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children.” –Danielle K White

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Parenting Point #1: Morning Chaos Garrett describes their eleven-year-old daughter as a morning psychopath. She sets her alarm to go off up to nine times every morning just so she can wake up and get out of bed. Their seven-year-old daughter is very much into routines. It’s almost as if she goes into auto-pilot in the morning and is good to go as long as everything is set up perfectly for her in advance. QUESTION How are your children similar? How are they different? Point #2: Unsolicited Advice Garrett is very committed as a parent to teaching the ‘right’ thing to his children. He’s had people reach out to him offering unsolicited advice about their parenting styles. Danielle: Everybody is super judgy about parenting styles, and at some level, every parent feels like they have fucked up their kids. QUESTION How do you handle unsolicited advice when it comes your way? Point #3: I Love You No Matter What If Danielle had to choose only one thing to teach their children, it would be accountability coupled with love. “If you could embed accountability and love into a kid, I think that would solve the world’s problems.” Years ago, Garrett began telling his daughters, “I love you, no matter what.” No matter what they do or say, he told them he will always love them. QUESTION If, as a parent, you could only teach your children one thing, what would that be? Point #4: Boxes and Checklists Just like in education, there’s a box that people try to put their kids into of ‘this is what it looks like to be successful.” And anything that doesn’t fit inside that box, they consider inaccurate or not right. For most parents, they’re always trying to get it “right” with their children, so they always feel guilty. And because they never get it ‘right’ based on a checklist that never ends, they don’t focus on the actual belief systems they want to instill in their children. QUESTION How are you keeping your children inside a box? Point #5: Core Beliefs Garrett: You can teach your kids all kinds of tactics, but what are the important mindsets and skillsets that you ‘should’ teach your children? There are plenty of people who know how to do the dishes, yet are unable to produce in life. I’m convinced that what people actually learn as children and what they take into their adult life is driven by the values and beliefs their parents instill in them, both by what they say and by what they watch their parents do. QUESTION What are the core beliefs that you are brainwashing your kids to believe that are empowering them as people? Communication Challenge: What are the actual belief systems that matter to you, and that you are instilling in your children? What are the beliefs about themselves and the world that you are consciously depositing into them? Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, have a conversation about how you want your children to remember your interaction and love connection as a couple. Quote of the Week: “I was blown away when I got married at how horrifically unprepared I was to be a married man.” –Garrett J White “She’s not mine to manipulate and control. I’m there to guide and lead her; to show up and do the best I can as a parent.” –Danielle K White