Date Your Wife

* This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018. Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing… all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week’s podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication.   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight, and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets. QUESTION When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel? Point #2: Sugar & Spice Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it’s everything! Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is “I fucking hate you,” which turns into “I fucking love you.” QUESTION How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy? Point #3: Love Notes Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he’s having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language. QUESTION What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes? Point #4: Give and Take Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that. QUESTION Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them? Point #5: Dance With Me Garrett: As you can tell, we’re still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner. Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we’re married to want to receive. QUESTION What does your daily dance of communication look like? Communication Challenge: Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, “I love you,” but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse’s? Do you think one is wrong and one is right? Date Night Topic: For women, what is your husband’s love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife? Quote of the Week: “I’m essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning.” —Garrett J White “We’ll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home.” —Danielle K White

*Encore presentation from January 2018* Join co-hosts Danielle and Garrett J White with Week Two of the Date Your Wife Podcast, in which they share two VERY different views of how they were raised with money (or without) and how that has affected their relationship as a married couple.   In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level. Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school. QUESTION What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?   Point #2: The War of Spending Money Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money. According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change. QUESTION If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?   Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants. Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he’s no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn’t feel like he’s providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally. QUESTION What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?   Point #4: Learning from What Didn’t Work: The Cancun Contract With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn’t work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on. Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him. QUESTION Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?   Point #5: I Want You To Want To Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves. At one point, Garrett made a huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value of investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other. QUESTION How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?   Date Night Topic: What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?   Quote of the Week: “I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn’t know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment.” —Garrett J White   “If you want to be treated like a Queen, you’ve got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn’t fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he’s putting in effort, take the gifts he’s giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs.” —Danielle White  

*Encore presentation from August 28, 2018.* Garrett and Dannielle discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week’s episode.   ____________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation Danielle:  I think it’s crucial to have time together to reconnect so that when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated. When your relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other. QUESTION How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary is important to you? Point #2: Mommy Guilt  Danielle: Mommy guilt happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you’re excited to get away, and you end up having a great time, there’s always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation. I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize that your kids are going to be just fine. QUESTION How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money? Point #3: Hiring Help Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents? The entire game from a guy’s perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you’re going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free, and that is not part of the family. QUESTION How do you and your wife feel about hiring help other than your family” Point #4: Cashing In Chips Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. “I watched your kids, so now you have to watch mine.” “I brought you dinner, so you have to bring me dinner, too.” There’s always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends. There’s no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of, “I will do this for you if you do this for me.” QUESTION How often do you use your parents and friends instead of hiring someone? Point #5: What’s Important to You? Garrett: Some guys say, ” I don’t have enough money to get a babysitter!” I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car, and you’ll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you. Space away from the kids creates perspective and power; perspective on your children, perspective on you as a couple, and perspective on your life. QUESTION What are your priorities? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help. Date Night Topic: Talk about the places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for them. Quote of the Week: “When you move away from working in the family and in the relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power.” —Garrett J White “All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It’s not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what? You’re not the only one that can parent your children. —Danielle K White

*Encore episode from January 2019.* This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.” QUESTION What experiences have you had with personal development events? Point #2: Date With Destiny After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away. QUESTION Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny? Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year. QUESTION Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?   Point #4: Give Yourself Permission Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain. QUESTION Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?   Point #5: It’s in the Numbers The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught,” As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do about the numbers that you see.” QUESTION What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them? Communication Challenge: Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back. Date Night Topic: Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment. Quote of the Week: “The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.” —Garrett J White “It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.” —Danielle K White  

*Encore presentation from May 15, 2018* Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life – Danielle K and Garrett J White – who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the Whites break down all barriers and bares all in this week’s enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Ass Cheeks ‘n Thongs Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she’s wearing a thong and has a tiny bum – even I noticed. It’s when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass. Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife. QUESTION How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner? Point #2: Sexual Triggers Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it’s all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, ‘oh he’s cute,’ but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you’re so horny. Garrett: As guys, we have a very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered. QUESTION What triggers you sexually? Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn’t about that. She eventually had a boudoir photoshoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being. “When I’m learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit.” QUESTION What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship? Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he’s not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason – if physical intimacy is not happening – his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem. Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home – the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out. QUESTION Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband? Point #5: Road to Nowhere With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy. Garrett: “Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle.” QUESTION Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship? Communication Challenge: Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship? Date Night Topic: Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix. Quote of the Week: “Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle.” —Garrett J White “Take the time to connect. Even if you’re working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you’re willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress.” —Danielle K White

*Encore presentation from May of 2019* The conversation about the game of money is this week’s topic of the Date Your Wife podcast, a topic which proves to be a spicy one for married co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save more money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from only investing in the business to investing in the family. QUESTION How are you doing in the area of savings? How long would you be able to sustain your lifestyle if the money stopped coming in tomorrow? Point #2: Obsession The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book, ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes, which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years, he has invested and put strategies into place, which have benefited them in massive ways inside of their bank accounts and savings vaults. QUESTION Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money?   Point #3: Building a Legacy Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy, an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come plus help our children if we needed to. My parents live well, but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at our parents and don’t want to live like either of them. QUESTION What do you ultimately desire?   Point #4: A Team Effort Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on. QUESTION How do you handle money decisions in your relationship? Point #5: Maintain or Increase? Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. We would not change homes or cars, and we would keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine. QUESTION What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away? Communication Challenge: Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money. Date Night Topic: If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything? Quote of the Week: “This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.” —Garrett J White “When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it, and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.” —Danielle K White

Point #1: What is a Stack? A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing those emotions, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth. QUESTION As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?   Point #2: Impact There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production or War Stack.. The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship. QUESTION How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?   Point #3:  The Gift of Gratitude Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective.”There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place, and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude, and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.” QUESTION What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude?   Point #4: INSPIRED From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received insights and revelations about their marriage, and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.” QUESTION What about your spouse inspires you?   Point #5: From Then to Now Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is that I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter. QUESTION As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed? Communication Challenge: Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations. Date Night Topic: Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date. Quote of the Week: “Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.” —Garrett J White “When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.” —Danielle K White

  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? Danielle believes women typically aren’t people-pleasers, they’re conflict avoiders. Some women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.” QUESTION How does this play out in your marriage?   Point #2: On the Hunt As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.” QUESTION Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage? Point #3:  Hot-Headed When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation or argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved. QUESTION Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication? Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened.” Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you. QUESTION Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?” Point #5: Therapy After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point. QUESTION What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.” Date Night Topic: During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives. Quote of the Week: “Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.” —Garrett J White “In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.” —Danielle K White

In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity. *Encore presentation from October 2018*   Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast… Point #1: Jekyll and Hyde Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way. Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away – my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, and the sexual desire. QUESTION What part of you are you hiding in a box? Point #2: Super Power Danielle: I can’t operate as Susan all of the time, so it’s literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It’s learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. For example, I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan’s coming out. When it’s time to be a wife and a lover, Danielle comes out. Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in that relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There’s Dark Susan sex, and there’s Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way. QUESTION How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage? Point #3: Critical Bitch Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, “Fucking crazy woman.” Anything to do with Danielle’s dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden became powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion. QUESTION What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful? Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you’re not fucking hiding anymore. Inside Wake Up Warrior and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth. QUESTION What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing? Point #5: Submission vs Sedation Danielle:  How do I get to the end result I’m looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I’m happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms. Garrett: Most couples don’t want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they’re in; that somehow it will be magical when they die. QUESTION Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision? Communication Challenge: How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side? Quote of the Week: “Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, and that you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife.” –Garrett J White “I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as ‘different?’ What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?” –Danielle K White

Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast, aka the White’s weekly therapy session, coming to you for the first time from their new home studio. In this week’s personal and up-close conversation from inside their bedroom, the highlights of this episode include details about Closet Sex, Garrett’s tendency to go to the extreme, the purpose behind this podcast, and business strategies when it comes to dealing with the haters. *This is an Encore presentation from February 2019*   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Closet Sex Danielle’s certain she has nailed down the exact time and place of conception of their baby due in July. Knowing her ‘window of pregnancy opportunity’ was wide open, and determined to take full advantage of it, she seduced Garrett one morning as he was on his way out the door. QUESTION Ladies, when and where was the last time you seduced your husband or partner? Point #2: Rivals & Haters Any successful business is always going to have rivals and haters. When you’re new in the game, you take it very seriously and it can be crippling. Garrett: Inside of a relationship, you have to choose you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a relationship that’s not working out, as hard as it might be, you have to take responsibility for the way your marriage is because of you. QUESTION What has been your experience with the “haters” inside of your personal and business life? Point #3: Compromise Danielle: When there’s an end result that I’m looking to get, sometimes I don’t look at the steps I need to take in order to get to that end result. A relationship is a sacrifice and compromise on both ends. There were many times Garrett and I told each other to fuck off. No one goes into a relationship wishing it was shitty. QUESTION What is the current state of your marriage?   Point #4: They’re Going to Talk Shit Garrett: We started down this path of being responsible for our own change as individuals which allowed us to make some very important decisions when it came to business. Part of that process comes from dealing with people who talk shit. In the beginning stage of business, we always believe we’re the exception and that there is something we can do that will have people NOT talk shit about us. QUESTION What is your strategy for dealing with people who talk shit about you or your business? Point #5: The Certainty of Collision Garrett: I think you need to fucking punch people because it helps YOU. When I launched my first podcast filled with explicit lyrics in the Christian category, I was like a knife salesman at a waterbed convention. People began attacking Garrett and were out to take him down. Even though he knew he had brought this on himself, he wasn’t prepared for the incessant heat he was receiving. As he launched his counter-attack on the haters, it began to weaponize him. QUESTION Where in your world have you taken a stand for something, and because of that, have you have received enormous backlash and persecution? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around this topic: It’s your partner that gives you insight and guidance that no one else will give you; it’s your partner that gives you a swift kick, and it’s hard to receive. Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, have a steamy conversation about seduction. Quote of the Week: “You don’t have to go looking for haters. The moment you take a stand of any significance, a war of haters will come to your front fucking door who are there to train you on how to be able to effectively and powerfully collide with other human beings..” —Garrett J White “If you can’t take the heat, you’re not strong enough to keep going. People who have had enormous amounts of success have figured out how to move on, say fuck you, have tunnel vision, work harder and smarter, and become the best at what they’re doing.” —Danielle K White