Three Percent

In this heartfelt and practical conversation, Blake and Jamie dive deep into attachment science — exploring how our earliest relationships shape the way we connect, protect, and seek safety today. Drawing from both research and their own friendship, they unpack the four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized — and describe them through vivid metaphors: the pasture, jungle, desert, and war zone.They share personal stories of conflict and repair, offering a hopeful look at how awareness and compassion can help us move toward emotional safety. This episode is a guide to understanding your relational patterns and choosing connection over protection.TakeawaysYour attachment style isn’t a flaw — it’s an adaptive strategy that once kept you safe.Awareness is the first step, but healing happens in relationship.Secure attachment (“the pasture”) is built through safety, consistency, and repair.Avoidance, anxiety, and chaos are often just unhealed attempts to find connection.The goal isn’t perfection; it’s movement toward honesty, empathy, and safety.ResourcesEmbodied Faith by Jeff & Cyd Holsclaw – https://www.embodiedfaith.life/Dr. Curt Thompson – Author and speaker on attachment & spiritual formation https://curtthompsonmd.com/attachment-theory-i/Related Episodes:A Practical Guide to Engaging Your EmotionsSuicide Prevention MonthEmotions for Dummies (Like Us)Learn more about Three Percent:www.threepercentco.comInstagram – @threepercent.coChapters(00:00) Welcome & Why We’re Talking About Attachment (04:15) What Is Attachment Science? (09:40) How Our Childhood Shapes Our Style of Connection(14:30) The War Zone – Disorganized/Ambivalent Attachment(18:50) The Jungle – Anxious Attachment (23:10 )The Desert – Avoidant Attachment (28:00) The Pasture – Secure Attachment (31:45) Blake’s Story: Growing Up Without Emotional Safety(36:20) Jamie’s Story: Learning to Stay Present in Conflict (40:30) How Attachment Shows Up in Our Friendship (44:10) The Role of Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation (48:00) Moving Toward the Pasture: Repair and Connection(53:00) How Faith and Attachment Intersect (57:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement for the WeekKeywordsattachment, attachment theory, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, disorganized attachment, emotional safety, friendship, faith, therapy, trauma healing, co-regulation, nervous system, parenting, relationships, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, Three Percent, mental health, emotional literacy, self-awareness, connection, neuroscience, grace, growth

In this week’s episode, we sit down with New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host Annie F. Downs—known by many as the “Queen of Fun.” Annie shares with us her journey of embracing both joy and pain, and how cultivating delight in everyday life can reconnect us to God, ourselves, and others. Together we explore the tension between being hopeful and bypassing pain, how to discern what parts of our story are private vs. public, and why fun is more than just entertainment—it’s a taste of eternity. Annie invites us to rediscover what our five-year-old selves loved, and how those simple joys can bring healing and hope today.LinksAnnie F. Downs: anniefdowns.comThat Sounds Fun Podcast: Listen hereBook: That Sounds Fun https://amzn.to/42s5ObFUpcoming Tour Dates with CAIN: caintheband.comReforesting Faith: What Trees Teach Us About the Nature of God and His Love for Us by Matthew Sleeth https://amzn.to/42seuPoTakeawaysFun is not frivolous—it’s a spiritual practice that points us to eternity.Vulnerability requires discernment: knowing what belongs to your private life and what can be shared publicly.Hope can be both a practice and a feeling—sometimes we “put it on like a jacket” before we fully believe it.Settling into our humanness allows us to extend grace to ourselves and to others.Men especially need to reclaim fun and kindness toward themselves, not just others.Chapters(00:00) – Putting on Hope Like a Jacket(02:00) – Meet Annie F. Downs: Author, Speaker, Podcaster(05:00) – Onsite, Vulnerability, and Healing(10:00) – Public, Personal, and Private Lives(18:00) – The Tension Between Hope and Spiritual Bypassing(25:00) – Settling Into Humanness and Grace(29:00) – Why Fun Matters for Men(35:00) – Listening to Your Five-Year-Old Self(41:00) – Fun as a Taste of Eternity(44:00) – Be Kind to Yourself(46:00) – Annie’s Upcoming Tour and Projects(48:00) – Pizza, Shirley Temples, and Madeleine L’EngleKeywordsAnnie F. Downs, That Sounds Fun, hope, fun, faith, vulnerability, Onsite, private vs. public life, therapy, humanness, grace, joy, eternity, childhood delight, masculinity, emotional health, three percent podcast

Join Dr. John Deloney, a best-selling author and mental health expert, as he explores what true strength means in today's world. Delve into his journey from punk rock roots to discovering the importance of vulnerability and connection. He shares how unprocessed trauma impacts families and emphasizes that men must first believe they are worthy of love. Learn about his transformative therapy experiences and how they helped reconnect with his daughter. John highlights the power of grieving, challenging traditional views of masculinity, and finding peace over performance.

What does it mean to live with a faith that feels real in the middle of life’s messiness? This week we sit down with pastor, father of five, and director of discipleship at Pillar Media, Chad Mondragon. Chad shares about his family story, his journey through church ministry into media, and the launch of The Jesus Table—a platform designed to meet people where they are with honest discipleship.Together we talk about:Why the bravest thing men can do is take the risk of vulnerabilityHow the epidemic of loneliness is shaping faith and masculinity todayWhat real connection looks like at home, at church, and with friendsThe role of questions, doubts, and honesty in a faith that feels realWhy family dinners, small groups, and even workouts can be places of healingChad reminds us that courage in manhood isn’t just scaling mountains—it’s opening up to safe people, risking vulnerability, and discovering that we’re more deeply loved than we fear.Links & Resources Mentioned:Chad’s work: thejesustable.comFollow The Jesus Table on InstagramFathered by God by John EldredgeChapters (00:00) – Introducing Chad Mondragon (04:00) – Family, youth ministry, and the value of dinner table conversations (13:00) – From planting churches to discipleship in media (20:00) – The loneliness epidemic & men’s need for connection(27:00) – Faith that feels real: questions, doubts, and vulnerability (39:00) – Risking love through honesty (54:00) – The Jesus Table projectKeywords:Chad Mondragon, The Jesus Table, loneliness epidemic, faith that feels real, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, discipleship, family, John Eldredge, Fathered by God, men’s ministry, F3, connection, Pillar Media

In this episode, Blake and Jamie share a simple but powerful framework for engaging your emotions: Pause, Pray, Process, Express. Building on last week’s conversation about suicide prevention and the dangers of bottling up emotions, they offer a practical, grace-filled tool to help you slow down, connect with what you’re really feeling, and bring those needs into safe relationships. Through honest stories about marriage, parenting, and friendship, they show how emotional awareness isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.Learn more about Three Percent:🌐 https://www.threepercentco.com📸 Instagram – @threepercentcoDownload the free Pause, Pray, Process, Express guide on our website.TakeawaysMost men bottle up, blow up, or numb out instead of engaging emotions.Neural pathways (the “slip and slides”) can be retrained with new practices.Pause: Slow your nervous system and notice what you’re feeling in your body.Pray: Invite God into your emotions without bypassing them.Process: Journal, talk it out, or seek safe co-regulation.Express: Share your inner world in ways that build connection and, when needed, set boundaries.Progress, not perfection, is the goal.Chapters(00:00) Why Engaging Emotions Matters(03:00) Bottling, Blowing Up, and Numbing Out(06:00) Stories from Parenting and Marriage(10:00) Why We Need to Create New Neural Pathways(14:00) Step 1: Pause – Slowing Your Nervous System(20:00) Step 2: Pray – Inviting God Without Bypassing(24:00) Step 3: Process – Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation(32:00) Step 4: Express – Sharing Your Inner World Safely(37:00) Movement, Boundaries, and Nonlinear Growth(40:00) Small Steps: Progress Over Perfection(43:00) How to Download the Free GuideKeywordsThree Percent, emotions, emotional health, men’s mental health, suicide prevention, emotional awareness, pause pray process, nervous system regulation, prayer, journaling, co-regulation, vulnerability, marriage, parenting, friendship, boundaries, holistic masculinity, therapy tools, emotional literacy, emotional connection, resilience, spiritual formation, healing practices

If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You are not alone.In honor of Suicide Prevention Month, Blake and Jamie open a tender and courageous conversation about suicide, loneliness, and hope. Blake shares the story of his own suicide attempt as a 17-year-old—the pain, shame, and family struggles that led him there, and the long journey of healing that followed. Together, they discuss the epidemic of loneliness among men, the need for emotional language and safe connection, and the importance of creating spaces where honesty can be met with care instead of shame. This episode is a raw invitation to remember that every life has value and that healing begins with being known.Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com 📸 Instagram – @threepercentcoTakeawaysSuicide prevention starts long before a crisis—it begins with connection, empathy, and emotional language.Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, often linked to isolation and loneliness.Behind anger, addiction, or performance often lies pain and fear that need to be named.Sharing your “3%” with safe people creates connection that can hold chaos.Compassion for your younger self is a vital part of healing.You are worth the effort it takes to reach out for help.Chapters(00:00) Why This Episode Matters – Suicide Prevention Month(03:00) Blake’s Story: A 17-Year-Old Carrying Too Much(08:00) Shame, Family Pressure, and Coping Through Numbing(12:00) The Night of the Attempt(18:00) What Loneliness Does to the Soul(23:00) Hiding, Shame, and the Story Everyone Believed(28:00) Why Suicide Prevention Starts at Birth(32:00) The Epidemic of Loneliness in Men(36:00) Connection Doesn’t Erase Pain—but Holds It(40:00) A Letter to My 17-Year-Old Self(46:00) Practical Next Steps & Resources for ListenersKeywordsThree Percent, suicide prevention, suicide awareness month, Blake Roberts, depression, shame, loneliness, healing, mental health, men’s mental health, holistic masculinity, trauma, addiction, recovery, vulnerability, faith and mental health, emotional literacy, crisis resources, therapy, compassion, identity, being known, resilience, self-compassion, healing journey

Blake and Jamie celebrate six months of their journey, reflecting on themes of masculinity, emotional vulnerability, and faith. They share insights about the importance of community and friendship in healing. The duo expresses gratitude for their global audience and highlights memorable moments that shaped their dialogue. With excitement for upcoming guests tackling mental health and fatherhood, they encourage honest connections. As they look forward to the future, they invite listeners to engage and share their stories.

In this soulful and deeply human conversation, author, speaker, and coach Justin McRoberts joins us to explore the sacred tension between calling and rest, ambition and surrender. With humor, honesty, and theological insight, Justin shares the spiritual and emotional journey behind his book In the Low. We discuss fatherhood, friendship, control, and what it means to hold both grief and joy with open hands. If you’ve ever wrestled with doing enough or being enough, this episode is an invitation back to groundedness, belovedness, and the long road of faithful presence.Check out more of Justin McRoberts: 🌐 Website – www.justinmcroberts.com 📸 Instagram – @justinmcroberts 📚 Book – In The LowLearn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.comTakeawaysYour “calling” doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be playful and sacred.Ambition without rest leads to burnout and bitterness.Slowing down often feels like failure in a productivity-obsessed world.God’s invitation is not just to work for Him, but to be with Him.Real rest means learning to release control.Friendships that hold both celebration and grief are vital to resilience.There is no sacred calling without sacred rest.Chapters00:00 Welcome & Meet Justin McRoberts03:30 What Is In The Low All About?06:00 Ambition, Surrender, and the Space Between10:20 Calling as a Form of Relationship13:40 Relearning the Pace of Love and Grace16:00 Burnout, Shame, and Being "Too Much"19:30 Parenting, Grief, and the Myth of Control24:00 What He Learned From Deep Friendships28:00 Masculinity and the Pressure to Perform31:00 God’s Invitation to Rest and Trust35:00 Questions That Help You Stay Human39:00 Where to Find Justin OnlineKeywordsJustin McRoberts, Three Percent, Sacred Strides, calling, rest, surrender, ambition, masculinity, Christian leadership, burnout, spiritual formation, work-life balance, grief, friendship, control, parenting, vulnerability, emotional health, faith and productivity, theological reflection, presence, fatherhood, resilience, healing, belovedness, performance pressure, letting go

Rachel Clinton Chen, a therapist and trauma practitioner, dives deep into the realities of trauma and healing. She discusses how trauma isn’t just about the events we endure but also the weight we carry alone. Rachel unpacks the high cost of integrity in spiritually abusive environments and emphasizes that grief can be the starting point for hope. She urges listeners to acknowledge their truth and understand the body as both a vessel of pain and a site for redemption. Her insights blend honesty and compassion, making the conversation a powerful call to embrace vulnerability.

In a heartfelt conversation, the hosts dive into the transformative power of personal change. They share their own battles with addiction and emotional numbness, emphasizing that true healing comes from within. The importance of self-compassion, empathy, and understanding motivations for change take center stage. They challenge the notion that we are defined by our struggles and highlight the value of community support. This candid exploration serves as a reminder that the journey toward healing is ongoing, yet wholly worthwhile.