Breaking Down Patriarchy

In this episode I'm joined by the astounding social worker and psychotherapist, Dr. Julie Hanks, for an astonishing conversation about aspirational shame, imposter syndrome, why far too many women feel prohibiting from chasing their dreams, and how we can strive to recognize and accept ourselves as the people we’re meant to be.Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist with nearly 30 years’ experience providing a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower women to prioritize their dreams, revolutionize their families, and personalize their faith. She is the founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy, an outpatient therapy clinic, and the author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women. Dr. Hanks is a local and national media contributor, a coach, a private practice consultant, and an award-winning performing songwriter. Dr. Hanks is the host of Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast and creator of online courses helping women navigate motherhood, relationships, and faith. A native Californian, Hanks currently lives with her family in Sandy, UT. For additional resources visit DrJulieHanks.com or connect with @drjuliehanks on social media.

When we began accepting submissions for this season, we received an outpouring of stories from women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Stories about how the Church has affected their relationships, how it’s affected their careers, their faith, their sense of self-worth. And, while we are very much dedicated to continuing to seek out and promote diverse voices, we also believe that this surge of stories from Mormon women needs to be heard.We received so many of these submissions that to listen to them all at once would be overwhelming, so we’ve decided to split them up to make sure we can pay adequate attention to each individual experience. In this episode we hear several short, personal stories from women raised in Mormon homes, and we’ll return and hear more of these stories later in the season. We’re so grateful for each and every one of these contributors for finding the courage to speak and the wisdom to recognize that we all deserve better than the patriarchy we were raised under. To begin this series we'll be hearing from three guests: Tiffany Sowby, Chelsea Homer, and an Anonymous Contributor.Tiffany Sowby (she/her) is the co-host of The Sisterhood Podcast. A few of her favorite things are: Scrabble games, meaningful conversations, and shopping for shoes. She has an unhealthy dependency on Nutella.Chelsea Homer (she/her) is the founder of Faith Journey Meetups and co-founder of a social club for women and genderqueer people looking for connection outside of religion. She loves to write, hike, and go on bike rides with her family.

When we began Season Two of this project, we had the honor of hearing from an anonymous servicewoman in the US Marine Corps who alerted us to alarming disparity among genders within our nation’s military. In the Marines this included misfit equipment, dismissive stigmas against mothers, and an enshrinement of masculinity that bordered on fanaticism. We were so grateful to this first contributor for opening our eyes to some the patriarchy entangled in our armed forces, and now we want to delve even deeper into that tangle.On this episode we hear from author and former intelligence officer Kaitlyn Zivanovich who helps us continue unpacking the patriarchal culture of the US Marine Corps. Kaitlyn’s words offer us an in-depth exploration of the ‘manliest’ branch of the military, how their marketing of hyper-masculinity came to be, and how the corps can continue moving forward in its treatment of women, people of color, and LGBTQIA+ servicemembers to create a more inclusive military for all.

We have a long way to go in our work of deconstructing oppressive systems, and one of the most challenging aspects of doing this work is being able to look at the pain these systems have already caused and are actively causing. It’s being able to listen to one another’s most difficult stories and do so with courage and compassion, without giving up our hope for the future. We can let these stories be lit as beacons to guide our way. We can let them be lit as a fire that drives us forward.On today's episode we hold spare for hard stories. As a caution for listeners, these stories will include explicit discussions of physical and sexual abuse, child marriage, domestic partner violence, and self-harm — and we recognize that this subject matter won’t make for easy listening. But we hope you’ll stay with us because these stories not only spread knowledge and challenge our empathy, they also help us understand how women and nonbinary people can persevere through hardships and still share a light with the world.We're so grateful to be joined by Red O'Hare and Susan Warren who each share stories of survival.

On today's episode I'm joined by my friend, entrepreneur Reese Harper, for a vulnerable conversation about the idea of being a provider, self-actualization, and how men and women together can collaborate to dismantle patriarchy in our workplaces. Reese Harper (he/him) is a financial advisor, a musician, and an entrepreneur. He loves outdoor recreation, writing, and spending quality time with his family.

Music is one of the keys that can unlock our memories, sometimes almost transporting us back through time. Whoever you are, chances are you have at least a few of these musical shortcuts to the past…Maybe you remember driving down the highway with your friends, windows down, singing together at the tops of your lungs. Or maybe you remember seeing a favorite band in concert and the electric energy when they played that one perfect song. Music can tie us to moments of community, of family, of grieving and celebration and callings of faith. Music even ties many of us to our most romantic moments through a special song that we share with a partner or spouse. Whatever genres you listen to, whatever instruments you play, music grounds all of us in our most intimate and important moments.On today's episode we're joined by Jessie Iacono who takes us on a journey through music and memories, through childhood struggles, to marriage, to motherhood and medical crises, all while confronting patriarchy and trauma alongside the guiding lyrics of Billy Joel.Jessie Bryan-Iacono (she/her) is a writer, a business owner and real estate investor. She enjoys reading, watching her three kids play sports, being active and travelling with her family.*Note: this episode includes discussion of topics such as mental illness and self-harm

On today’s episode we’re going to be exploring the systems of patriarchy at work in the sciences and the arts, hearing from two special guests – computer engineer JoCee Holladay Porter & artist Shannon Christie - as they help us reckon with both sides of this double-edged sword.Shannon Christie (she/her) is a social worker, artist and writer, and the founder of Ragtag Magazine, a web publication focused on creativity and community in the Pacific Northwest. When she has any amount of free time, she loves trying new Thai restaurants, doting on her houseplants, and collecting shiny rocks.JoCee Porter (she/her) is a computer engineer and a wannabe science communicator. She runs a book club highlighting female authors in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM).

A church (which is just a building used for Christian worship) can look like all sorts of things. Some churches boast stunning stonework and intricate stained-glass windows, while others are only modest wooden structures. You can find churches built up in trees, in caves, or on top of volcanoes. Some swell with the sounds of solemn hymns while others are radiant with music and praise. What these churches all have in common, however, is that they’re centers of faith, of doctrine, and of community engagement, and they often hold power in the community’s that they serve. Can that power be disseminated and wielded responsibly? Of course it can. However, far too often we find troubling stories of toxic patriarchy and abusive behaviors surfacing within our church communities.On today’s episode we’ll be joined by two guests — Kathy Barbini and an Anonymous Contributor — who share their stories and help us explore the roles of patriarchy in our churches and beyond.Kathy Barbini (she/her) is an independent documentary filmmaker and former producer for national television programs. She loves hiking, the ocean, movies and reading. Learn more about Kathy's latest film at baptizingfeminism.com

Most of us would love to have a perfect memory, but we often fall far short of this aspiration. Who hasn’t forgotten someone’s name right after being introduced, or failed to remember where you left your car in the parking lot? Our memories are rarely as reliable as we’d like them to be. And more so, our memories – even some of our most formative ones – can alter over time. Like a game of telephone, each time we return to a memory it can change ever so slightly until the story in our mind — while it may reflect a personal truth — is suddenly far from the facts of the lived reality. Memory is ephemeral, ever-shifting, and foundational to the ways we understand our worlds and ourselves.In this episode, we explore the phenomena of memory with two outstanding guests -- Emilly Prado and an Anonymous Contributor -- discussing and exploring the influence of patriarchy along the way.Emilly Giselle Prado (she/her) is a writer, DJ, and educator living in Portland, Oregon with roots in the San Francisco Bay Area and Michoacán, Mexico. As an award-winning multimedia journalist, Emilly spent half a decade independently reporting on a wide range of topics, most often centered on amplifying the voices and experiences of people from historically marginalized communities. Her writing and photographs have been published widely, appearing in more than 30 publications including NPR, Marie Claire, Bitch Media, Eater, Oxygen, The Oregonian, Remezcla, and Travel Oregon. Emilly is the author of Funeral for Flaca, a memoir-in-essays shortlisted for the Pacific Northwest Book Award and called, “Utterly vulnerable, bold, and unique,” by Ms. Magazine. She is also the author of Examining Assimilation, a youth non-fiction title at the intersections of identity and U.S. history. Emilly is a Tin House and Las Dos Brujas Workshop alumna, Blackburn Fellow and MFA Candidate at Randolph College, and a co-founder of Portland in Color. She moonlights as DJ Mami Miami with Noche Libre, the Latinx DJ collective she co-founded in 2017.

How do you feel about beauty pageants? In 1968, the feminist group New York Radical Women organized a picket of the Miss America Pageant and paraded sheep around the area to protest models being judged like animals at a county fair. These activists refused to talk to male reporters, which forced newspapers to call in women reporters from their usual assignments covering second-tier stories. And then they set up a freedom trash can and they piled in their bras and false eyelashes and put in copies of magazines such as Playboy and the Ladies Home Journal. These demonstrations at pageants spread to many other countries, including to the Miss World pageant held in England in 1970, where protesters threw flower bombs and disrupted the event with football rattles. And then in Scotland in 1975, a large group of women called the students signed up for a beauty pageant. And then on the day of the contest, they all stormed in together wearing overalls and no makeup, essentially hijacking the event. Whatever listeners think about beauty pageants, it's about to get more complicated. On today's episode, we hear a fascinating essay from Holland Allebes Anderson, granddaughter of the very first Miss World Kiki Hawkinson.Holland Allebes Anderson grew up in Southern California. She is currently a student at Brigham Young University Provo, studying to become a Landscape Architect with an emphasis in urbane farms and edible parks. Holland is an artist of many mediums such as oil paint, ink, digital art, installation art, chalk art, performance art, and poetry. Her art and thinking are shaped by her faith (Church of Jesus Christ), parents, gender, plants, and her humor.