Breaking Down Patriarchy

On today’s episode we’re going to be discussing loss — loss of family, loss of loved ones, loss of faith — and specifically we’ll be discussing loss in the context of excommunication from the Church of Latter-Day Saints.For listeners who may not be familiar, excommunication from the LDS Church is the single most severe form of discipline which Church leaders can enact. It’s a severance, total and often sudden, from a person’s community and from their faith tradition, and its fallout can be devastating. While this form of punishment may have its proper uses, its clear that far too often it’s instead wielded as a form of censorship against proponents of progress and accountability. So, on today’s episode we’re going to be digging in deeper to understand excommunication and its impact, as well as other relevant forms of loss, as I’m joined by Natasha Helfer who sat down with me for a deeply honest interview about death, divorce, and her own experience of being removed from the Mormon Church.Natasha Helfer (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and a Certified Sex Therapist, speaker, writer, podcaster, and supervisor with 20 years of experience treating individuals, couples, and family systems.

As we’ve discussed in Season 1 of the podcast, there is a strong and encouraging history of men aligning with feminist causes and contributing to feminist movements. This is a history that dates back at least 175 years to Frederick Douglas speaking in favor of suffrage at Seneca Falls and to John Stuart Mill advocating for women’s rights before British Parliament. From the very beginnings of First Wave Feminism, there have been men of integrity standing alongside our foremothers, and that tradition of male feminism continues to this day. Which is good, because we need them.We need people of all genders working together if we’re going to create the future feminists envision, but we especially need men to consider how they can play an active part in promoting change and in encouraging others to do the same. Fundamentally, this work we are asking of men involves examining their motivations and assumptions, it means admitting difficult truths, questioning deeply held beliefs, and having the courage to share this work with others – and I couldn’t be prouder to say that today we’ll be joined by two phenomenal men, Jon Ogden and Erik Allebest, who are stepping forward to lead the way.Jon Ogden (he/him) is founder of UpliftKids.org, a lesson library and curriculum that gives families a foundation after a faith shift.Erik Allebest (he/him) is the husband of Amy McPhie Allebest. He is a huge supporter of Breaking Down Patriarchy and of Amy. They have 3 daughters and a son. Erik is the CEO of Chess.com. He also loves playing any kind of game and doing almost any kind of physical activity.

On today's episode I sit down with chess expert and professional gamer, Alexandra Botez, to discuss women in the world of competitive chess, life as a streamer, imposter syndrome, harassment, world travel, and the future of women and girls in gaming.Alexandra Botez (she/her) is an American-Canadian chess player and commentator, streaming superstar. She's the creator of BotezLive, one of the most popular chess channels on Twitch and YouTube. As a player, she became a five-time Canadian National Girls Champion and won the U.S. Girls Nationals at age 15. She achieved her highest FIDE Elo rating of 2092 in March 2016, and she currently holds the International Chess Federation title of Woman FIDE Master. Botez is currently one of the top-10 female players in Canada.

Today we're going to confront some of the really hard things about being a woman in the LDS faith tradition and we're also going to highlight some of the beauty and the goodness and the moral rightness that is found there in the Church. To demonstrate one aspect of the many complicated factors of what it felt like to be a Mormon, here's a scene for my house when I was little: In the 1980s, my family drove a huge blue Suburban. My younger siblings and I would listen to cassette tapes in the Suburban on road trips and we would listen to the same things over and over and over again. One of the classics was a musical that was called My Turn on Earth. It came out in 1986 and it was about a girl who live with God and with the whole human family before being born in a human body on earth. What I got from that is that my soul could have come down to earth anywhere. I could have been born into a body of a rich aristocratic family and friends. I could have been born in a slum in Brazil. I could have been born into a Muslim family in Egypt or a Buddhist family in Thailand, and so my whole life, anyone I see anywhere, I have an awareness that that person could just as easily have been me. Every single person that I meet was at that big family meeting before humans came to earth, so we are all siblings even if we don't remember each other. This way of viewing other people is at the core of who I am and today I am so honored and so excited that on today's episode I'm joined by the author of My Turn on Earth, Carol Lynn Pearson.Carol Lynn Pearson (she/her) has been a professional writer, speaker and performer for many years. Several of her poems have been widely reprinted in such places as the Ann Landers column and Chicken Soup for the Soul as well as college literary textbooks. Her autobiography, Goodbye, I Love You, tells the story of her marriage to a homosexual man, their divorce, ongoing friendship, and her caring for him as he died of AIDS. This story made her a guest on such programs as "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "Good Morning, America," and she has been featured in People magazine. Pearson has written numerous plays, books, and educational motion pictures. Pearson holds a master's degree in theatre, is the mother of four grown children, and lives in Walnut Creek, Calif.

In the 21st century, witchcraft is trending. TikTokers, for example, sharing witch-based content, have amassed over 20 billion views under the hashtag “witchtok” and, as the trend grows, major retailers (including Sephora, Urban Outfitters, and many more) have eagerly started selling mystical crystals, spell books, and other witchy paraphernalia hoping to cash in on this growing faith movement. And yet all of this still leaves us with the question: who exactly are these self-professed witches? Some of you may even be wondering, is witchcraft actually real?To help cut through misinformation and shine a light directly on what witchcraft looks like today, we decided to go straight to the source and fortunately found Kari - a present-day, practicing witch - who was willing to sit down with our podcast’s editor, Sam Rose, for a conversation about ritual, history, stereotypes, and the self-identified witches who still walk among us. Kari (she/her) is a student of Jungian psychology, an active member of the Hyperian movement, and has been a practicing witch for over 40 years.

On today’s episode we visit the number one country in the world when it comes to gender equity—Iceland—to take a closer, more critical look at the history and present day lives of women in a nation viewed as the gold standard for women’s rights. To help facilitate this exploration of Icelandic culture, I’m thrilled to say that today we’re joined by globetrotter Rachel Greenley, as well as a number of Icelandic locals who generously sat down with Rachel to discuss to discuss patriarchy overseas, what American and Icelandic feminism can learn from one another, the red stocking movement, and the incredible history of how Iceland has become a world leader in gender equality.Rachel Greenley (she/her) has a master’s degree in International Development and is passionate about women's empowerment. She travels, lives, and works around the world with her husband and children.

As regular listeners know, we do our best on this podcast to not look away from the pain that patriarchy creates. In the past this has meant discussing the hurtful ways patriarchy erases history, the ways it diminishes women, limits possibilities for men and boys, and—on several occasions—this has meant listening to difficult stories of domestic abuse. On today’s episode we’ll be joined by an Anonymous Contributor who trusts us with another of these difficult stories.Note: this segment contains descriptions of domestic and sexual violence, among other potentially distressing content. I encourage everyone listening to please take care of yourselves as you know best.

In this episode I'm joined by phenomenal guests—Liz & Cami—two Americans who have lived in Saudi Arabia for the past several years and are ready to speak about their experiences navigating Saudi patriarchy as foreign women. Their conversation is fascinating and funny, discussing dress codes and driver’s licenses and the shadows of colonialism in this unique peek into one of the world’s—allegedly—most patriarchal societies.  

On today’s episode, we’re going to be exploring this concept of the feminist awakening with three extraordinary guests--Monica Rodgers, Shelbey Neil, and an Anonymous Contributor--who help us unpack the trance of patriarchy, the challenges of a new perspective, and the need to confront our former beliefs.Monica Rodgers (she/her) is a tireless advocate for the full actualization of women, inspiring women everywhere that saying “YES to the MESS” is the missing link to self-love and personal awakening. Through her podcast and group coaching programs, Monica guides women through their inner evolution, from trance to transcendence, revealing the toxic myths of social conditioning and self-doubt. Monica is a Mother, a Beloved Life Partner, a Certified Co-active Coach, Sacred Feminine Archetype Practitioner, Host of The Revelation Project Podcast, and she’s the Author of the upcoming: Book of Revelation.Learn more by visit jointherevelation.com.Shelbey Neil (she/her) hails from the mountains of Utah but has lived in swamps of New Orleans for the past 5.5 years. She likes dipping her toes into many interesting subjects and moving quickly onto the next—but feminism has sucked her in for a total immersion. Her life motto is horrendously cheesy, but you really do miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Many of us want to make a difference in our lives, find our purpose and create our legacy. Shaped by our past, we look toward the future, and toward creating a better world for those around us.As the daughter of an immigrant and refugee, Katica Roy is driven by a passion to eradicate economic inequality and to champion the rights of refugees, women, and children. She has written numerous articles about intersectional gender equity for different national media platforms and uses storytelling and data-stitching to create a common calling toward achieving gender equity. Her articles garnered over 2.9 billion impressions.I was thrilled to have Katica join me on today's episode for a fascinating discussion on gender and the economy.Katica Roy (she/her) is one of LinkedIn’s 2022 Top Voices for Gender Equity, the 2020 Colorado Entrepreneur of the Year, 2019 Stevie Entrepreneur of the Year, Top 25 Most Powerful Woman in Business, a 2018 Denver Business Journal Outstanding Women in Business finalist, a 2018 Colorado Governor’s Fellow, and was named a Luminary by the Colorado Technology Association in 2017, recognizing her as a visionary technology leader in Colorado. Katica is the CEO of Pipeline, an award-winning company that uses advanced technology to make intersectional gender parity a reality in our lifetime. In addition to its core platform, Pipeline launched the first gender equity app on Salesforce's AppExchange. Pipeline was also named as one of TIME Magazine’s Best Inventions of 2019, Fast Company’s 2020 World’s Most Innovative Companies, Fast Company’s 2021 Next Big Things in Tech, Fast Company’s 2022 World Changing Ideas. Pipeline is backed by both Accenture and Workday.