Delusions Of Grandeur

Luke Skywalker is nowhere to be seen this week! Lando remains unimpressed while Han Solo meets his childhood hero: The Flying Dutchman, Space Edition.™ Thrawn arrives on the Noghri homeworld for tea and accusations. Leia and Chewie wake up in a locally owned artisanal bakery. And we GET INTO IT on the history of colonialist grasses, baby!! Once you’re done reading these chapters, get grass-pilled with a few Earth-related gems:California’s Lying Fields of Gold1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus CreatedThe Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins

Mara Jade unenthusiastically trades the jungle for a bustling market in Space Morrocco. Talon Karrde shares a secret: he accidentally discovered the location of the infamous Katana Fleet — 200 super dope ships all tethered together by Bluetooth but which were thought to be “lost.” Joruus C’baoth is still around and still weird and still fascist. Han, Lando, and Luke get into MUCH CHICANERY on New Cov — a pharmaceutical planet that’s basically Little Shop of Horrors meets Bio-Dome (1996).

This week, we start off with Talon Karrde hiding behind the galactic equivalent of a lamppost—his love for the hot goss almost destroys him and his crew. Luke and Lando complete a neat side quest spurred by Lando’s excellent sense of smell and crafty negotiating tactics. An ambitious Bothan is trying to take down Admiral Ackbar with dirty money and sly interior decorating. WE GO BACK TO THE ARCHIVES, BABY, where we discover some weird stuff about the original Jorus C’Baoth. And Han Solo finally becomes the partner we all knew he could be by just…getting the heck out of the way. <3

The thrilling conclusion of the Thrawn Trilogy reveals what secrets Palpatine hid in his mountain lair. Luke ends up covered in poison ivy during a clever ruse with Mara, and Wedge Antilles finds himself reluctantly babysitting ships at Sluice Van. A surprise attack leads to chaos as Thrawn's plans to steal New Republic ships unfold. Lando's decision weighs heavily as he navigates trust versus tactics, while a political crisis looms with Admiral Ackbar's arrest. Join the excitement as heroes converge and tactics are put to the ultimate test!

A hilarious exploration of two contrasting figures, Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade, illustrates the battle between relaxation and alertness in a perilous jungle. Listeners dive into their first confrontation filled with witty banter amidst an imperial search. As Luke hotwires a ship and crashes, Mara's history as the Emperor's Hand unfolds, revealing her complex motives. Meanwhile, Leia faces an assassination attempt on Kashyyyk, showcasing her quick thinking and survival skills. The tension between Mara and Luke shifts as truths are revealed, making for an engaging adventure.

The hosts dive into Luke's stranded predicament in deep space, exposing his struggle with X-Wing repairs with R2's help. Leia's cultural clashes on Kashyyyk highlight the planet's Wookiee charm, while a mysterious freighter introduces the cunning Talon Card. Tension builds as Luke meets Mara Jade, who blindsides him with his sudden inability to connect with the Force. Meanwhile, Han and Lando navigate a casino in pursuit of Talon, unraveling intriguing connections to Jabba the Hutt. Galactic Zillow browsing and hypothetical planet-buying add a playful twist!

Chaos unfolds as Lando seemingly attracts visits from everyone just when he least needs it. Meanwhile, Han Solo’s buddy falls victim to a robbery, and Leia and Luke tackle a Yoda-themed dilemma. C-3PO’s unexpected upgrade leads to amusing antics, and Grand Admiral Thrawn orchestrates a crafty river-crossing challenge in space style. Tensions soar with dark Jedi threats, a daring plan to hide Leia on Kashyyyk, and Luke’s tricky escape from an interdictor cruiser, showcasing Thrawn's chilling decisiveness and strategic prowess.

Luke hilariously thwarts Jedi-nappers while Leia taps into her Force skills, leading to a comical jewelry caper. Thrawn's strategic brilliance shines in an expertly crafted space battle. The tension rises with ambushes on a diplomatic tour and Leia's budding Jedi training, fraught with mishaps. Luke faces existential doubt amid growing distrust of Jedi, all while an intriguing confrontation with the enigmatic Mara Jade unfolds. The narrative unfolds cinematically, paving the way for exciting encounters with Lando.

Dive into the captivating world of Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy! Discover Thrawn, the genius villain who outsmarts foes through cultural mastery. Luke grapples with his Jedi responsibilities while Han navigates a post-imperial life filled with political challenges. The introduction of intriguing characters like Talon Karrde and Mara Jade adds depth to the narrative. Explore mysterious sites and Force-sensitive plans as the New Republic faces political tensions, all wrapped in Zahn's masterful storytelling!

Sit back. Relax. Let us pour you a tall glass of cool blue milk as we spin fascinating yarns about some of the galaxy’s most villainous scum—and how they came to frequent a certain wretched hive. That’s right: we’re unpacking the first six stories in Tales From The Mos Eisley Cantina. We’ve got mistaken identities, townhouse robberies, and sentient trees. And who would’ve thought that Greedo’s story would be the most tragic thing we’ve ever read? Or that two of these stories seem eerily similar to two musicals you can find on a list of 2023 Tony nominees?