Delusions Of Grandeur

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Dorsk 81 the Cloned? I thought not. It's not a story Barbara Hambly would tell you. Dorsk 81 was super good at his desk job, but he was the first Dorsk to ever get bored and he decided to be a space cop instead. He graduated police academy in the most unceremonious way possible and then his best friend forced him to go to a N*zi rally "just to see what they're up to." Turns out, they were up to genocides (duh). But since Dorsk 81 wasn't super populer...lar...back home, the mayor ignored his warnings and now most of their planet is dead. Dorsk 81 himself got internally fried trying to cosplay as Sailor Moon in defense of the Jedi Temple — though he did manage to use the Force to hip check 17 Star Destroyers so hard it sent Gilad Pellaeon's mustache a'quivering. The best we can say about these chapters is: .................the book is almost over. Also, KNIGHT HAMMER. 💀

Folks, this book is rough enough that maybe even fat free flavor crystals sprinkled on a sarcastic omniscient space clam can't save it. Everyone is getting done dirty in this section, from the entire Wampa race down to Wedge Antilles. Our heroes hop all over the galaxy, finding out things that other people already know and gaslighting their significant others, friends, and/or protégées. Even more upsetting are the gratuitous mentions of Pellaeon's depression mustache. Our hosts dive deep into Crix Madine's baffling uniform to distract themselves from the impossible task of figuring out how much time has elapsed so far in this book (Five years? Two days? The galaxy may never know).

Fair warning: if you identify as a woman or a Mon Calamari, there's not much to appreciate about these chapters. Leia finally gets to go out with her family — to eat a salad. Admiral Ackbar can't even make it past the Corneria mission in Star Fox 64 — despite being a revered war vet. Qwi Xux is supposedly a brilliant scientist — but more importantly, Wedge thinks she's hot. And even though Callista tried to break up with Luke Skywalker, she continues to follow him around the galaxy — enduring Wampa attacks and an endless barrage of stories about his gap year on Dagobah.

Luke and Calista retreat to an icy luxury resort to chase the Force while relationship friction simmers. Hutts scheme over a rebuilt superweapon and an engineer markets a terrifying redesign. A clone society raises questions about identity and conformity. Admirals play high-stakes brinkmanship at a tense warlord summit.

They recap a chaotic Hutt raid on Coruscant aided by ferret-like thieves. Political maneuvering in the New Republic and shaky Jedi oversight come under fire. Callista’s loss of Force connection and Luke’s personal choices create awkward moments. A messy Imperial power struggle heats up while Mara Jade’s portrayal sparks heated reactions.

They dig into a late‑90s Star Wars tie‑in with Dune‑style Tatooine hijinks and undercover plans inside Jabba's Palace. Tusken culture and bantha bonds get surprising attention. A strange Bomar monk with a brain in a jar and Hutt mining schemes create galactic intrigue. A baffled Imperial engineer survives grotesque punishments and ominous cloning implications.

They riff on Lando's wild gambles, mindharp mythology, and a pyramid full of time-bending transformations. Vuffi Raa's comic antics, shrinking crisis, and earring gag get plenty of laughs. They also poke at odd worldbuilding, geology tangents, tarot sabacc scenes, betrayals, and a chaotic reveal about buried cities and colonial collapse.

They riff on a trashy Lando Calrissian novel filled with jackalopes, dinosaurs, and long sabacc scenes. Political context and troubling eugenicist passages get called out alongside giddy laughs about cumberbunds and loincloths. A mysterious sorcerer forces a quest for a mindharp, complete with tuning forks, bus hustles, saloon brawls, and a five‑tentacled droid stealing the show.

They break down rescue plans, daring shipboard tactics, and a botched mission to stop the Eye of Palpatine. Political scheming and aristocratic maneuvering put Leia through a drugged astral test. Mara Jade’s arrival turns the tide and sparks explosive confrontations. A surprising body-swap and the loss of Force abilities create messy emotional fallout and uncertain futures.

They dig into Luke’s injured, trauma-driven romance and wild astral visions. Leia survives aristocratic capture using royal etiquette and uncovers secret archives linking power plays to Palpatine. Han’s club scene raises questions about Ragonda’s sudden wealth. The hosts coin a hilarious new word for crisis-driven crushes and debate ethics around mind preservation and droid personhood.