Speak The Truth

Greg Wilson discusses the nature and scope of “Domestic Violence”, defined and explained.The church hasn’t done well in this category of ministry.Desecrating the image of God in another person. Where man has perverted the dominion that God gave man to rule and subdue the earth, but in man’s sinful state, he corruptly exerts power through violence. Definition: the desecration of the image of God through patterns of intentionally misusing power overtly or covertly in words or actions to gratify self.We need to engender a little more fear in the church to reveal the reality and frequency of it.Indicators of possible abuse Broadly, dominates control of emotional liberty, limiting relationships, finances, elements of control.Gaslighting - convincing the other spouse that they’re crazy, and thus gaining control over the other person. Colloquially, crazy-making.Triangulating tactics towards the counselor in counseling done through the perpetrator in counseling, so domestic abuse is happening in real-time in the counseling session. Covert abuse.In domestic abuse cases, the counselor, if not careful, can sound like the abuser by telling the victim what they need to do.Safety planning; Short term plansLong term plansIn counseling, we need to help to rescue the oppressed, God did!In the church, we need to be rescuing the oppressed, not encouraging them to stay in that situation.Church; care before you correct these domestic abuse cases.Episode References:Soul Care AssociatesBrad HamBrickChris MolesDarby StricklandAssociation of Biblical CounselorsThe Village Church

Show Notes:“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8The Heart of the Matter (Put On) Series is intended for use upon thoroughly working through the Put Off portion of this series. It is designed to help you facilitate a process with your counselees wherein they are given the opportunity to prayerfully examine Scripture as it pertains to divine truth concerning their beliefs, desires, and behaviors. Below is a brief explanation of each part of this series, and each handout’s purpose within the counseling process: Biblical Thoughts About My Situation and Others: Continuing to use the heart log counselees will be instructed to identify statements on these handouts that are relevant to their current situation. These thoughts are reasoned from biblical truth, and counselees should be encouraged to dispose of deceptive thoughts (identified in the “Put Off” portion of this series), and embrace thoughts more aligned with statements on this handout. Again, dissonance may occur, and it is important to notify counselees that this is a normal part of the process. The heart’s tendency to deceive does not evaporate simply because someone begins to wage war against lies. A helpful exercise along with the Heart Log might be to have them journal why dissonance remains or why they continue to lean towards believing deception over truth. Biblical Thoughts About Self: Unfortunately many Christians deeply embrace condemning thoughts about themselves. Such thoughts minimize the beauty of the Gospel while blinding people to their deepest identities as brought forth in the Bible. This handout provides just a few statements that are most true about your counselee (assuming he/she has placed faith in the finished work of Jesus). Work through each of these statements with your counselee. Allow them to wrestle with each statement, and have them examine why they will not (or feel they cannot) embrace these gifts from our Lord. Make sure that as they assimilate these thoughts (by God’s grace) that you make these thoughts about the kindness and love of God so that pride and self-centeredness do not sabotage the intent of this exercise. Maybe have them write prayers of gratitude to God for his amazing grace. Biblical Thoughts to Believe (in Faith) About My Situations and Others:While my situation is challenging, God is faithful to effectively help and strengthen me (Ps. 46:1-3). There is no situation too difficult for the Lord to resolve, and I will seek to glorify him in seeking resolution. Ultimately, I will seek to trust God’s purposes in Him either resolving or not resolving this issue (1 Corinthians 10:31; Proverbs 16:9). My situation feels like it has destroyed my life, but as long as I live I have the freedom to respond to my situation in a way that shapes and matures me so that I become more and more complete as God’s instrument of grace (James 1:1-4). My pain influences me to feel God is absent, but that cannot true. He is actually my refuge always present to help me in difficulty. Jesus actually lives to constantly intercede for me! (Psalm 46:1; Hebrews 6:23-25)Rejection can be extremely painful, but I have experienced it before and was able to persevere. I survived! If I feel it’s intolerable, maybe I am putting too much trust in people while not earnestly trusting God. Jesus does not condemn or reject me in this struggle, but deeply relates to and sympathizes with me in the pain of rejection (Jeremiah 17:5-9; John 19:15; Hebrews 4:15). Disapproval can be difficult, but fearing people is a trap that destroys. Believing that I need approval from someone in order to thrive is not true. Exercising faith in God as my sufficient helper is the antidote to my fear (Proverbs 25:29; Hebrews 13:6). People don’t necessarily cause my feelings and responses (though they do influence), but often people reveal things in my heart that I need to examine. It is nice to be noticed, but demanding it as a “must” could be revealing idolatry and deceptive desires in my heart (Colossians 3:5).Episode Resource:Christian Counseling - Heart of the Matter Counseling Resource

Episode Summary: Curtis takes time to Demystify PTSD by removing the D out of it. It’s not an abnormal reaction to normal life, but it’s really a normal response to really extreme and difficult circumstances. PTSD is severely misunderstood, and in this episode, Curtis offers a robust understanding of the nature and scope of PTSD. Episode Notes: How do we demystify PTSD?With the Counselee, helping them understand what’s going on physiologically and spiritually as far as what they're facing because the body naturally responds to trauma, and the physiological implications of fight or flight that is associated with fear.This isn’t just a military issue.First responders experience a lot of trauma, as well as familial experiences and events.People respond to trauma differently, and there are a lot of factors that play into manifestations of trauma.Pre traumatic factors involve a lot around how one grew up, experiences, core beliefs, worldview, etc. All of these factors play into the way someone responds to suffering, hardship, and trauma.Peri Traumatic - how are you responding to suffering, what was actually going on in the event itself, what happened to me, was it something I did, who was involved, etc.Where to start with a PTSD case, first develop trust. Going into time with humility, and ask good questions.Ways for churches to best minister to those struggling with PTSDDisassociation, removing yourself from reality, and entering back into a traumatic scenario.Show Resource Mentions:Biblical Counseling Coalition15:14 PodcastMighty Oaks Warrior ProgramDemystifying PTSDGarrett Higbee

Episode NotesAnswers to Shauna's questions of who'd we like to sit down with over a cup of coffeeMike - Jeff DurbinShauna - John Piper / Ben ShapiroJeremy - James K. A. Smith / Jordan PetersonTopics & Questions AnsweredGrief? grieving the loss of a child or a child losing a parentBooks on grief & loss Bob Kellemen - God's healing for life's losses: to find hope when you're hurtingPaul Tautges - A small book for the hearting heart: meditations on loss, grief, and healingPaul Tautges - Comfort those who grieveRejection?Can a woman lead out in a church ministry with a vision for launching and cultivating a biblical counseling ministry in the local church?Respond to some feedback we received regarding EMDR

Show Notes: Paul Tripp discusses his heart behind his recent book release on suffering, “Suffering: gospel hope when life doesn’t make sense”, which was largely due to his own recent experiences in suffering through an acute renal failure. Listen as Paul shares the nature of suffering and our response to it. "Tweetable Tripp one-liners" from the episodeSuffering is spiritual warfareSuffering isn’t neutral, we never come to suffering empty; we don’t suffer the thing your suffering, you suffer the way your suffering the thing your suffering.We have a dark ability to trouble our own trouble.Our bad theology is making a mess of our suffering.God doesn’t need us to be healthy to use us; that’s a human way of thinking.The move of grace is not from dependence to independence, but the move of grace is from independence to dependence.We’re afraid to be honest and transparent because we don’t believe the gospel.As Christians, we should be able to be the most honest community on the earth.As Christians, we struggle with believing the now-ism of the gospel of Jesus Christ.As Christians, we need to stop having cosmetic relationships.God makes his invisible grace visible by sending people of grace to give grace to people who need grace, that’s how it works, modeling that incarnational living.Our weakness is God’s workroom.Episode Resource Links:Paul Tripp Ministries - New Morning MerciesSuffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense 

Show notes:The cultural view of depressionTreats it like a disease, attributing it or reducing it to a chemical imbalance or a genetic disposition. These aren’t invalid, but it causes a quick diagnosis so it can be treated quickly. It can almost promise a remedy, which scripturally speaking, is much deeper, its more of a heart problem that has physiological and emotional implications. Therefore, culture has a very superficial view and resolution to depression, very much consistent with the medical model. This isn’t bad, its just incomplete and a truncated resolution because it doesn’t deal with the heart of a person which is where the root of depression is planted.Medication implications - they don’t necessarily fix the problem, but ultimately mask the problem and often times creates new symptoms. As biblical counselors, we wouldn’t counsel clients to stop taking meds, but to seek their medical professional.Placebo testing with depression medications demonstrated that the prospect of hope helped tremendously with those struggling with depression. If a placebo provided hope imagine what real hope can do for those depressed; the gospel provides a living hope to the hopeless.General & Biblical Notes on Depression:Depression is a progression; when unbelief goes isolated, and it's allowed to reign and nothing else is pressing in on that like community groups, discipleship, etc. it's very likely one can slip into a bout of depression.Paul’s teaching on suffering is helpful. Gal. 6.1-5.Imagine our community group leaders who respond in a Gal. 6.1-5 way?Learning from depression - learning to preach the gospel to ourselves and having others in our lives to speak into them.The gospel gap - gospel truth. Learning to orient our hearts in the place of sorrow.Learning to abide in ChristGospel Community is so necessary for those struggling with depression.Show Resource Notes:Soul Care ConsultingJournal for biblical counselingMartin Lloyd Jones - Spiritual DepressionEd Welch - Stubborn Darkness

Episode Notes:- What is EMDR TherapyDeveloped by Psychologist Francine Shapiro, EMDR stands for Eye Movement Reprocessing and Desensitization. It focuses on how memory is stored in the brain and how that impacts experience. It is a successful evidenced-based method for treating trauma.- How is it usedEMDR uses dual attention stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or rhythmic audio sounds) to activate the brain’s orienting response, allowing you to access adaptive information and attach it to the memory of trauma. “EMDR connects the ‘here and now’ parts of your brain to the ‘then and there’ trauma parts until your brain says I'm ok.- Is EMDR biblicalTo ask if EMDR is biblical may not be the right question if you are hoping to find the Scripture that speaks of it. The better question may be, “Is it unbiblical?” To that the answer is easy. –No. Nothing in the practice of EMDR goes against Scripture. When done by a    biblical counselor, it is best understood that EMDR is applying neuroscience to biblical counseling.- Scriptures and the EMDR processPsalm 139:14- The complexities of the brain are the Lord’s handiwork.John 16:13- Speaks of the Spirit’s role to guide us in truth. Believing clients often find the truth of Scripture plays a key role in the EMDR process. Jeremiah 33:6- Reminds us that healing is connected to truth.John 8:32- Truth has the power to set us free from what binds. 2 Corinthians 10:5- Calls us to take thoughts captive.Isaiah 61:1-3- Gives a picture of the healing that is ours.Psalm 24:1- All things belong to the Lord, including methods of care and healing.- Who should consider EMDR    - If you've been impacted by traumaTrauma is defined as the emotional shock following a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Trauma overwhelms the senses and hijacks normal processing. Traumatic experiences cover a broad range. Some include personal involvement where something happened to you. Others include something that happened to someone with you. Situations can also be traumatic due to the personal significance and impact on your life. Trauma results in an overwhelming sense of fear, feelings of helplessness, and loss of control. PTSD and CPTSD are clinical diagnoses given to people who are dealing with the continual impact of trauma. However, you do not need a diagnosis for EMDR to be helpful in processing your experience.- If you feel "stuck"EMDR is extremely helpful to people who feel stuck in their struggle. If negative self-talk, catastrophizing, feeling continually overwhelmed, or feelings of hopelessness are part of your regular life, reprocessing target events and memories with EMDR can help. If your life seems centered around the negative experiences of your past and traditional talk-therapy has not fully helped you move forward, EMDR may be exactly what is needed.- Is EMDR safeYes. Because EMDR is non-invasive and client-led, there is little concern surrounding the process or impact of the therapy. Below are supporting facts as well as things to consider:The client remains fully coherent and focused during the process. The client sets the pace and can decide if they need to stop at any time. When done properly, EMDR has the least susceptibility to suggestion or manipulation than do other therapies.EMDR should only be done by a professionally trained therapist. While EMDR is considered safe, not everyone is a good candidate for this therapy. Consult with a trained professional to determine if it is right for you.Episode Resources:Elizahuie.com  Mclean Bible ChurchCCEFEliza's Books    - Raising Teens in a hyper-sexualized world    - Raising kids in a screen saturated world

Episode Notes: After 8 or 9 minutes of riffing about being in lockdown with each other, the discussion starts about using assessments in the counseling room and with the local church for leadership development.ABC has a resource page with the assessments broken down into categories such as: AngerMarriageSexIntimacybitternessMoneySpiritual LifeSubstance AbuseParentingAdulteryDomestic AbuseWomanhood, etc.Besides providing excellent training for certifying biblical counselors, ABC is also dedicated to providing, through membership, counselors with enough resources to help. You can print out one of the resources and hand them right to the client.ABC membership is really a resource hubThe assessments help gather data quickly with a Likert ScaleEpisode Resources:Association of Biblical Counselors Membership

General Notes: Discuss Stewart Scott's new book, "31 Ways to be A One-Another ChristianHow Mike uses it as a pastor to encourage group leaders to be more relationally intentional with their groups and then being able to use it as a more formative leadership developing piece.Also, as a counselor, being able to use it as a form of data gathering, where the counselor is being forward about the relational dynamic of church engagement. As most counselees are pretty infrequent in attending church and even more infrequent with the communal life of their church.Using the book as a homework assignment to help counselees meditate on the verses, their explanations, maybe think of their own illustration, and then work to apply it by asking specific questions that center around the actions of the verse, etc.Episode Resources: 31 Ways to be A One Another Christian - Stuart ScottBiblical Counseling Coalition 

Episode Notes:The Heart of the Matter: designed to help facilitate a process with our counselees to help with the opportunity of examining their hearts. Drawn from Psalm 26.2Heart log (helpful in assisting counselees to identify various aspects of their hearts begin to identify our theirs through logging A situationTheir emotionTheir thoughts and beliefsTheir desires and wantsTheir subsequent behaviors and habitsEmotion Wheel Emotions are often smoke alarms of the soul that alert us to problemsUsing the exercises to reveal deceptive patterns of thoughts, desires, behaviors, etc. Deceptive thoughts about situations and othersDeceptive thoughts about selfDeceptive desiresLevel of desireSinful behaviors or habitsThis series is intended to diagnose what is going on within the counselee. The next part of the series will be about "Put On", where this series is about "Put Off"Episode Resources:BooksA Theology of Christian Counseling - Jay Adams.Linkshttp://feelingswheel.com/Episode Quotes:Situation is just a context that exposes the heart. - Jeremy Lelek.Idolatry is when you give yourself permission not to love God or someone else because you didn't get what you wanted. - Jeremy Lelek.Habits shape the heart - Christian History.