Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Episodes

Mentioned books

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Apr 27, 2022 • 52min

Episode 520: Ciera Clayton, Age 26, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Ciera Clayton bravely shares her story. Ciera talks about her love of and testimony of the Church, coming out, and trying to navigate her sexuality. Ciera talks about dating women and getting married and having a son. Ciera talks about that marriage ending but being on good terms with her former wife. Ciera talks about trying to date men and why that doesn’t work for her and why she returned to the Church. Thank you, Ciera for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. Every queer LDS story is unique and different, and it helps us to hear a variety of stories to help better support our LGBTQ members. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Apr 24, 2022 • 1h 16min

Episode 519: Clark Barrow, Understanding and Overcoming Self-Harm

My friend Clark Barrow (RM, Active LDS, Age 24, Married) bravely shares his journey with self-harm. Clark (who was on episode 398 with his siblings supporting their gay father Alec) talks about returning home from his mission to Utica, New York after 9 months with a knee injury. Clark talks about the anxiety of being home and how that experience led to significant anxiety and stress about when/if to return to his mission. That led Clark to finding a coping mechanism to numb the pain in self-harm. Clark talks about the shame and stigma around self-harm. Clark returned to Utica, New York and served for another 9 months before the stress/anxiety of the mission led Clark to turn to his copying mechanism of self-harm. Clark, showing great courage, opened up to his companion and Mission President which resulting in Clark returning home. Clark talks about being an early release missionary (twice) and what we can do to better support these good missionaries. Clark also talks about what led him to finally open up and get help with self-harm and begin his recovery. Clark is sharing his story to reduce the shame and stigma around self-harm to help others. Clark’s wife Tegan shares her thoughts about self-harm and how they love and support each other—and the importance of being open and honest during the dating process (which helps create a foundation of trust and vulnerability that is one of the keys to a successful marriage). Thank you, Clark and Tegan, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. Thank you for your courage and voice of hope! ** Please check out my new book that has a chapter about mental health and early-release missionaries: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**
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Apr 21, 2022 • 1h 16min

Episode 518: Susie White, Bravely Shares Her Journey with PMDD

My friend Susie White (married mother of 4, early 50’s) shares her journey with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation) which is very different that Premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Susie, by bravely sharing her story, helps us understand what this is; how it impacts mental health and can lead to suicidal ideation; how it is not a spiritual weakness; how it is diagnosed; and how to get help. Please check out www.IAPMD.org for more information. Susie mentions Christina Bohn Rudd who died from suicide with PMDD (the obituary of this remarkable women can be read at: https://www.columbiatribune.com/obituaries/pclm0093521) and the work for her mother Marybeth to bring more understanding. Her obituary includes this section: Christina suffered from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which can become more serious the longer it is undiagnosed and untreated. We feel compelled to share the importance of seeking help for premenstrual disorders. Many women and AFAB individuals are misdiagnosed and struggle to get appropriate help for many years. For information on PMDD, and if you would like to donate in lieu of flowers, please visit IAPMD.org. Susie, a committed Latter-day Saint, also talks about how we can improve our culture to better support women and their families. Susie’s husband Tim also joins us to give insights about how men can support their spouses with PMDD. Thank you, Susie for being on the podcast and for bringing light and understanding to PMDD and PME. You are doing live-saving work! ** Please check out my new book that has a chapter about mental health: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**
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Apr 18, 2022 • 1h 5min

Episode 517: Brandon Galli, Gay Latter-day Saint, BYU-Hawaii Student

My friend Brandon Galli joins us to share his remarkable story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Brandon, who grew up in Draper Utah and is 21 years-old, talks about acting on the impressions he has received that led him to come out, take a job with Disney in Florida, and then attend school at BYU-Hawaii. Brandon talks about his great parents and what they are doing to support him. Brandon talks about the positive experience he had a Disney and then at BYU-Hawaii including excellent experiences with administrators, faculty, and other students. Brandon talks about how BYU-Hawaii is helping to create Zion and gather Israel—for Israel includes LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Brandon is mature, spiritual, deeply authentic with a self-confidence about who he is and his life mission that is remarkable and helps all of us. Thank you, Brandon for being on the podcast along with your wonderful and helpful insights. You are great man with a wonderful future. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Apr 15, 2022 • 1h 26min

Episode 516: Eli McCann, RM, BYU Law School Grad, Same-Sex Marriage

My friend Eli McCann (age 37, Ukraine RM, Lawyer, Married Skylar in 2019) shares his journey. Eli starts with the pre-mission years, his Ukraine mission (good experience), and his journey following his mission where he was forced to finally face the reality of being gay and how that looks at a Latter-day Saint. Eli shares the terror and anxiety he felt during these years which led to Eli coming out in late 2013 (age 29) and concluding his best path forward is a committed same-sex marriage where we could build/share his life with someone. Eli also talks about his love of Ukraine and the fundraiser that he organized (along with many others) in March 2022 to help raise over $150,000 for the people of Ukraine. Thank you for your continued efforts to bless lives in Ukraine. Thank you, Eli for being on the podcast. Your story helps us see each other as members of the same human family and principles that help us love, honor and support everyone on their respective paths—where we have unity in diversity. You are a really good man with many wonderful gifts to bless and help others. You can find Eli on FB, Instagram (@eliwmccann) and Twitter (@elimccann). You can also check out his work mentioned in the podcast at https://www.itjustgetsstranger.com/author/elimccann/ and http://itjustgetsstranger.com ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Apr 12, 2022 • 43min

Episode 515: Ryan Anderson, New Book “The Choice to Leave Abuse”

My friend Dr. Ryan Anderson (Ph.D., married father of 4, active LDS, was on episode 443) talking about his groundbreaking book “The Choice to Leave Abuse” which is available at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PGKFY59) and Deseret Book (later in April 2022). The book for local leaders, parents and individuals to recognize and then help others (or yourself) out of abusing relationships. It is based on gospel principles and teachings. I encourage everyone to read this book and connect with Ryan’s work. I wish I had read this book before my YSA assignment. You can reach Ryan at randerson@telos.org or at his Facebook page @TheChoicetoLeaveAbuse You can also listen to a free audio recording (www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZfoF6ubukY) of the first chapter of the book at The Choice to Leave Abuse YouTube Channel (www.youtube.com/channel/UC1dNDxmRw3VJL4J3FpcfSDQ. Thank you, Ryan for being on the podcast and your great work.
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Apr 9, 2022 • 1h 17min

Episode 514: David Ostler, Principles for Families to Remain Strong When One Leaves the Church

My brother and friend David Ostler; Author of Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question which is available at Deseret Book (https://deseretbook.com/p/bridges-ministering-to-those-who-question?variant_id=181882-paperback) and Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/158958726X); join us to talk about a new chapter in his book. This new chapter discusses how marriages can stay together—and even thrive—when one spouse chooses to step away from the Church. The gospel bases principals in this chapter also apply when an adult child steps away from the Church. This chapter is free to download at bridgeslds.com and will be included in a future edition of his book. There is also a free guide to download at this site to help leaders talk in the councils and presidencies about how to minister to those who question. We all have people in our lives who have stepped away from the Church. David’s book and new chapter help us keep the family circle together and preserve the relationship—even with people we love not participating in the Church. David’s book also helps us better understand the reasons who someone leaves the Church—perhaps understanding these reasons (and discussing this at Church and in our families) helps some stay as we develop better ministering tools. David’s research points out that most in a faith transition do want to find a way to authentically stay in the Church. David also talks about “Circles” and how this program helps develop better communication tools to have meaningful discussions with those who believe differently. David has led over 20 of these Circles and I encourage you to check this out and possible participate (via Zoom). You can learn more at bridgeslds.com Thank you, my good brother for your efforts to “heal our divide” and create Zion.
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Apr 7, 2022 • 1h 19min

Episode 513: Gay Latter-day Saint Women, Age 18, Anonymous

My friend joins us via Zoom to share her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in this anonymous podcast. My friend shares her story to come out to herself, to others, to her parents on this deeply spiritual journey. She talks about the IG account she started @to_all_the_latterday_gays and the associated blog. My friend talks about how her relationship with her Heavenly Father helped her accept being gay and is key to removing shame and bringing peace. This is an excellent podcast from one of my youngest guests who insights, maturity and perspective well beyond her years. I encourage everyone to listen to this powerful podcast. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Apr 3, 2022 • 1h 24min

Episode 512: Meghan Decker, New Book: Tender Leaves of Hope

My friend Meghan Decker joins to talk about her new book (released on April 10, 2022) called “Tender Leaves of Hope. Finding Belonging as a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women.” The book is at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462143288/ (paper-back and kindle with audiobook coming soon). Meghan (my friend from High School) shared her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in Episode 473. Meghan and her husband David (who recently moved to Provo, Utah) are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchildren. In this podcast, Meghan talks about why she wrote the book, why it includes the stories of many other LGBTQ women on their respective paths, and how to honor and support people on their respective paths. Meghan, who is the mother of a queer daughter in a same-sex marriage, shares gospel parenting principles to support LGBTQ children as they make their way forward and to learn to “let go of my agenda for my child.” Meghan also has wonderful and practical insights to help LGBTQ Latter-day Saints feel welcome and a sense of belonging in our congregations. The book is for every Latter-day Saint. It will help you as a parent, as a local leader, if you are LGBTQ and if you want to do better at “gathering Israel”. You are also invited to attend an event on April 12th at 7 pm in Provo Utah where Meghan will be speaking about her new book (see for complete details: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tender-leaves-of-hope-tickets-267902572807) You can contact Meghan at www.meghandecker.com Thank you, Meghan for being on the podcast. You are doing great and needed work to bring us together. I encourage everyone to read your book!
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Mar 30, 2022 • 1h 8min

Episode 511: David Bingham, Gay, Left Church in 1980, Returned in 2016

My friend David Bingham (Age 60, Gay Latter-day Saint, Creative Director) shares his remarkable story. David talks about why he left the Church in 1980, his life outside the Church, deeply spiritual experiences, and his journey to return to the Church including receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood and his Endowment. David talks about what he has learned, the wonderful people who love him and support him, his supportive Bishop and Ward, feeling he would be celibate but then dating a wonderful man who is also a devout member of the Church. Thank you, David for being on the podcast and the courage to share your story. I was deeply moved learning of God’s hand in your life and your great heart and courageous decisions. Your story will help so many. On behalf of all our listeners, thank you! If you'd like to reach David, please message him on Facebook Messenger (www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1475074077) ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

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