Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Episodes

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Jul 1, 2022 • 1h 43min

Episode 539: Troy Gagon, Lost son Terik to Suicide, Solving Pornography

**Trigger Warning: Podcast talks about Suicide. If you are suicidal please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255** My friend Troy Gagon (age 52, Married Father of 7, Active LDS) bravely shares his long journey to understand and solve pornography—including the effectiveness of the ACT (Acceptance, Commitment, Therapy) approach. Troy also talks about his 17-year-old son Terik who died by suicide in Feb 2015 (you can read more about Terik at www.terikgagon.com). Troy talks about how his family is healing and finding hope, things we can do to better support families who have lost on to suicide, and hopeful thoughts to those who are suicidal. If you are working to solve pornography, please listen to this podcast. Troy’s insights will help you. And if you have lost a family member to suicide, Troy’s perspective and gospel insights will help you. You can reach Troy at T.s.gagon@gmail.com or 801-836-5733. Thank you, Troy for your courage to share your story. Respect. ** Please Check Out My New Book (Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below) that discusses solving pornography—and helping those with scrupulosity and mental health challenges ** Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
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Jun 28, 2022 • 1h 29min

Episode 538: Michael Finch, Age 27, Suicide Survivor, RM, BYU Student, Gay

**Trigger Warning: Podcast talks about Suicide. If you are suicidal please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255** My friend Michael Finch bravely shares his story. Michael talks about realizing at BYU that he is gay before his mission, resulting in feelings of “my life is over”. At that time, Michael ignored this realization, and he served a successful mission in New York City speaking Mandarin Chinese. Michael talks about returning home and trying to move forward with his life including coming out as gay (positive experience). However, suicidal ideation (which has been part of Michael’s story since before his mission) continued until Michael’s suicide attempt in March 2021. Michael bravely shares more about that experience, what he has learned and why he decided to openly share about his suicide attempt to help others. A year after his suicide attempt, Michael made this Instagram post in March 2022 (www.instagram.com/p/CbgRYONvJMEG2Y9pKxDA2u7r272D-WqoTy-EZk0/). If you are feeling suicidal or what to help others, please listen to Michael’s podcast. He helps us understand why someone considers suicide and how best to help them. I learned so much listening to Michael. If you are suicidal, please call 800-273-8255 Thank you, Michael, for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. Respect. You are a great man with a wonderful future. Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤️ https://www.listenlearnandlove.org/gay-lesbian-same-sex-podcasts https://listenlearnandlove.org/suicide-podcasts ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Jun 25, 2022 • 1h 11min

Episode 537: Taylor Niebergall, Building Bridges Podcast

My friend Taylor Niebergall (active LDS, Married Mother of Two) joins us to talk about her podcast focus on building bridges between those in the Church and those who have left the Church. Taylor talks about why she started the podcast, the purpose and her hopes to build more understanding between these two groups of people. You can check out Taylor’s podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/building-bridges/id1585596531. The article she wrote can be found here, http://the-after-eden-project.com/ and you can follow the Building bridges Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/Building-Bridges-podcast-101942785569497/ or Taylor’s personal account here https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008387117636 You can also check out my brother David Ostler’s book referenced in the podcast at: https://bridgeslds.com/about-author/ Thank you Taylor for being on the your good work to bring us together as the same human family. ** Check out my book on improving Latter-day Saint Culutre ** Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566 Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
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Jun 18, 2022 • 1h 19min

Episode 536: Sadi Rogers, Same-Sex Marriage, Believes in Church

My friend Sadi Rogers (age 32, EMT, mother of 3) shares her story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Sadi talks about growing up in Arizona, realizing she has romantic feelings for women, being honest with her Bishop and eventually marrying a man. Sadi talks about the goodness of that marriage (lasted 11 years) which eventually ended. Sadi then talks about her desire to be single and fully participate in the Church. That changed when Sadi met and then fell in love with her now wife Quinn Kelly—including personal revelation this was her path. While I invite everyone to follow Church teachings, I share stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints on their own unique paths to help us better support others. Neither Sadi or I are inviting others to follow Sadi’s path—but we are inviting us to come together as the same human family to love and support each other and leave judgement to our Savior and His perfect understanding. Thank you for your courage to be on the podcast Sadi and share your story. You are a wonderful person doing much good in this world. I’m glad you have Quinn in your life. You both have my love and support. For more stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saint women, please check out Meghan Decker’s book (referenced in the podcast) at https://meghandecker.com/tender-leaves-of-hope ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Jun 15, 2022 • 1h 18min

Episode 535: Ashley Smith, LDS Mother of a Gay Son, LDS Living Article

My friend Ashely Smith (Married Mother of Six, Active LDS, Mayor of Cañon City, Colorado) shares the story of raising and supporting their gay son Kyle. This podcast is based on the excellent article that Ashley wrote for LDS Living in June 2022 (https://www.ldsliving.com/what-can-you-say-when-a-family-member-comes-out-as-gay-7-ideas-from-a-latter-day-saint-mom/s/10712). This is a powerful podcast. I encourage everyone to read the LDS Living article and listen to the podcast and then consider what you can do in your circle of influence to improve our understanding of and support for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you, Ashley for being on the podcast and writing this LDS Living article. You are doing wonderful work in many areas to bless and help others. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Jun 12, 2022 • 1h 16min

Episode 534: Marie Ellis Cook, Narcissistic Abuse Survivor

My friend Marie Cook (Active LDS, Age 28, Married Mother, Temple Square RM) bravely shares her story growing up in a home with a narcissistic mother. Marie discusses how she gradually realized her unhealthy upbringing and how these behaviors were becoming part of how she treated others. Following a painful breakup, Marie (with the help of friends) walked into BYU-Idaho counseling center to begin her road to healing and to break the cycle in her future family. It is a remarkable story of courage to change her trajectory and now help others. Marie, who is a certified recovery coach, shares helpful tips on her Instagram account @marieelliscook If you are in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, this podcast will help you. If you want insights to help others in a narcissistic relationship, this podcast will help you. And if you have narcissistic tendencies, this podcast will help you. Thank you, Marie, for your courage to share your story.
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Jun 9, 2022 • 1h 16min

Episode 533: Isabelle Wheeler, Nonbinary Latter-day Saint

My friend Isabelle Wheeler (age 23, UVU student, RM) bravely shares their journey as a nonbinary Latter-day Saint. Isabelle talks about their early life, college, serving a mission (Fort Lauderdale, FL), and their experiences following their mission. If you are nonbinary or transgender, Isabelle’s insights and experience will help you. If you are a parent or local leader trying to better support nonbinary or transgender Latter-day Saints, Isabelle’s story will help you. Thank you, Isabelle for your courage to be on the podcast. I was deeply moved hearing your experiences and gospel insights. You are remarkable and our Church is better with you as a member. Links mentioned in the podcast: Deseret News Article: https://www.deseret.com/u-s-world/2022/6/7/23157031/1-in-20-young-adults-identify-as-transgender-or-nonbinary-pew-survey-finds-pew-research-lgbtq LGBTQ Workshop Panel with Trans and Nonbinary Students: June 15th, Utah Valley University Institute, 7 pm, 785 College Dr, Orem, UT 84058 Chapter 8 from Richard Ostler’s Book: https://www.dropbox.com/s/uz9qjy1dq5fox7c/Chapter%208%2C%20Transgender%20Latter-day%20Saints.pdf?dl=0 Great podcast from Questions for the Closet on Gender Dysphoria: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-is-gender-dysphoria/id1504990147?i=1000565502494 ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Jun 6, 2022 • 1h 19min

Episode 532: Teresa Myers, Age 24, Bisexual Latter-day Saint

My friend Teresa Myers (BYU grad, RM, Recently Married, Active LDS) shares her story as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. Teresa starts with difficult years (including suicidal ideation) that has a component in her sexual orientation. Teresa talks about her decision come out to others, importance of therapy and her decision to share her story to help others. Teresa talks about exploring all possible roads and then feeling personal revelation that her path forward was to marry a man and fully participating in the Church. Teresa talks about opening up to her husband Corbin during the dating process and how that ended up strengthening their relationship and developed a better foundation for honestly, vulnerability and community. Their story is a wonderful love story. If you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint, please listen to Teresa’s story. It will help you. If you are a parent of someone wanting to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, Teresa’s insights will help you. Thank you, Teresa for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. You are strong and brave and you being honest gives hope to others. Links mentioned in the podcast: LDS Living Article: https://www.ldsliving.com/what-can-you-say-when-a-family-member-comes-out-as-gay-7-ideas-from-a-latter-day-saint-mom/s/10712 Meghan Decker Book: https://meghandecker.com/tender-leaves-of-hope Richard Ostler Faith Matters Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/114-are-we-listening-learning-and-loving-a/id1307757928?i=1000561389883 ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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May 31, 2022 • 1h 3min

Episode 531: Taryn Hiatt, Suicide Prevention

My friend Taryn Hiatt, Area Director Utah/Nevada American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, joins us to talk about suicide prevention. Taryn (who has been working in this space for over 20 years after her father Terry who died by suicide in 2002) talks about the various organizations available to those considering suicide, those working to prevent suicide, and support for suicide loss survivors. Taryn has great insights into the scope of these organizations and how they all work together for the common goal of suicide prevention. Taryn also shares her own journey as a survivor of being sexually assaulted and suicide attempts. For Taryn this isn’t theoretical—rather since she is walking this road—Taryn has real-life and practical insights to give hope and healing. Taryn talks about the “dark night of the soul” and finding hope that dawn will come. Her story is deeply moving and will help you. She also talks about how to better support our LGBTQ friends. If you are considering suicide or working to help others, please listen to this podcast. Taryn’s insights will help you. Thank you, Taryn, for being on the podcast and all your great work in our community to saves lives and bring more understanding. You are a hero to me and many others! Here are resources mentioned in the podcast: Suicide Prevention Hot Line: 1-800-273-8255 Trans Suicide Hot Line: (877) 565-8860 or translifeline.org/hotline/ Trevor Project: 866-488-7386 Or www.thetrevorproject.org/ David Archuleta Love Loud: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooh6otPKmzE June 24th LGBTQ Suicide Prevention Event at University of Utah: https://utlgbtq.attendease.com/ Link to support a loved one after an attempt: https://afsp.org/when-a-loved-one-has-made-an-attempt/ and this recording youtu.be/ouHshCnh_Yw and www.namiut.org/resources/mentoring Link to support you after your attempt and coming home: https://healthcare.utah.edu/hmhi/programs/crisis-diversion/
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May 28, 2022 • 1h 2min

Episode 530: Dr. Christian Judd - Coping with Loss from Suicide

My friend Christian Judd shares the story of his brother Bryan who died by suicide in April of 2010. I became aware of Christian and his good work and message around this topic with these tweets: https://twitter.com/christianmjudd/status/1513174782723846145 https://twitter.com/christianmjudd/status/1513583004785917957 Dr. Judd, who is a board certified psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner, shares insights on how to help individuals navigate when someone close has died by suicide. He also provides insight for those who have considered suicide. Here are three suicide prevention numbers. Please reach out for help if you are having suicidal thoughts: Huntsman Mental Health Institute Crisis line (Utah residents): 1-801-587-3000 National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor Project: 1-212-695-8650 Here is a link to the David Archuleta Love Loud video mentioned in the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooh6otPKmzE If you are having thoughts of suicide or have lost someone to suicide, Christian’s insights may help you. Thank you Christian for being on the podcast and all your good work. You are a good man and friend. Also, check out Christian’s podcast called Social Hall Sports Podcast (mostly about sports) at https://linktr.ee/socialhallpod And check out a chapter from my new book on mental health (chapter 6) at: amazon.com/dp/1462139566

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