Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Richard Ostler
Welcome to our podcast!
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jul 30, 2022 • 1h 15min
Episode 549: Heidi Bartle, Author “When Mommy Feels Sad”
My friend Heidi Bartle (Active LDS, Mother of 5, BYU Grad) shares her story of waves of unexplained sadness which led to a diagnosis of depression and a further diagnosis in 2012 of bipolar. With the encouragement of a therapist, Heidi opened up to her children (ages 5 – 15 at the time) about her mental illness. That helped reduce the shame and sigma and normalized having a mental illness (just like having an allergy or asthma).
That led to Heidi to write a groundbreaking children’s book called “When Mommy Feels Sad: A Mother’s Journey Through Depression” which is at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/When-Mommy-Feels-Sad-Depression/dp/1638859787
If you are a parent with a mental illness, Heidi’s book and this podcast will help you. If you have someone in your life with a mental illness, Heidi’s insights will help you. There are so many wonderful segments in the podcast including the ending about deliverance being both a process along the way and a final event.
You are one of my new heroes Heidi. Thanks for your courage to share your story. You are giving hope and better tools to so many.
Jul 27, 2022 • 58min
Episode 548: Joe Horton, Dear Wife Ann Died of MS After 43 Years of Marriage
My friend Joe Horton shares the story of falling in love in 1978 with his wife Ann concurrent with her MS diagnosis. Joe talks about healing blessings, advice to not marry someone with MS, and his personal revelation to marry Ann. It is a beautiful and deeply moving love story.
Joe (who was President/CEO of Primary Children’s Hospital from 1994-2007 and currently is Professor in the MHA Program at the David Eccles School of Business) talks about the deep rewards and challenges of the road they jointly walked together. That road included having two children (Matt and Drew), Ann eventually needing a wheelchair, managing providing care, Ann blessing so many, and Ann’s passing on April 15, 2021. You can read Ann’s obituary here: https://www.larkinmortuary.com/obituary/view/margaret-ann-horton-13
Joe’s life is very different than he imagined on the flight home from Rome Italy in 1975 after a successful LDS mission. However, Joe shares how he wouldn’t trade this life for the life he once imagined.
Joe ends the podcast with nine life lessons he has learned from the experience. The principles in these life lessons are foundational and can help all of us navigate the realities of mortality.
I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast. It will help you have more hope. It will help you better see our Heavenly Parents love for all their children during our difficult mortal journey. It will also help you help others as they walk complicated roads.
Thank you, Joe, for being on the podcast. Your story honors Ann. I’m glad more are hearing about your wonderful wife and the many lives that are better because of her. Thank you for your courage and faith and all the lives that are better because of you.
Jul 24, 2022 • 1h 11min
Episode 547: Allison Dayton, Founder Lift and Love
My friend Allison Dayton (Active LDS, Mother of Three Including a Gay Son) joins us to share her latest thoughts on the intersection of being LDS and LGBTQ. Allison has been on this road for 4 decades with her gay brother Preston (who died in 2017) and her gay son Jake (currently at BYU) and has a unique and needed perspective.
Allison started Lift and Love (check out liftandlove.org and @liftandlove on IG) which is a support group for LDS parents with LGBTQ kids. It also helps give local leaders more tools to better support LGBTQ youth. Life and Love also has a series of support groups (mentioned in the podcast) that is so needed and expanding. Life and Love is identity supportive and church supportive.
I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast and connect with Lift and Love. It will help you as a parent, local leader or LGBTQ member. Thank you, Allison, for your great work.
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Jul 21, 2022 • 1h 20min
Episode 546: Evie Jimenez, Eating Disorder
My friend Evie Jimenez (BYU Student, RM, Age 21) joins us to bravely talk about her eating disorder (anorexia nervosa). She discusses personal daily battles with the disorder since her diagnosis at age 11 and the difficulty of those years on a personal, family, and social level. Evie then talks about her road to hope and healing (family support, accepting her disorder, therapy, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ). She offers honest and vulnerable stories about the mental dialogue of her disorder including counting calories in the sacrament bread.
Evie is now in recovery. She is looking forward to finishing her education at BYU and a career helping others recover from eating disorders.
If you are working to solve an eating disorder or help others, please listen to this podcast. Evie’s story will help you. Thank you Evie for being on the podcast. You are brave and courageous. I was deeply moved hearing your story!
** Please Check Out My New Book (Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below)**
Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
Jul 19, 2022 • 38min
Episode 545: Lauren Harrigian, New Covert, Transgender Latter-day Saint, Part 2
My friend Lauren Harrigian (who was on Episode 540) joins us to answer questions and give more insights following her original podcast episode. Thank you, Lauren, for being on the podcast and share more about your journey. You are awesome.
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Jul 16, 2022 • 1h 21min
Episode 544: Koji Aoki, Solving Pornography
My friend Koji Aoki (Age 27, RM, Married, Grad School) joins us to talk about his 10+ year journey to understand and then solve his porn use. Koji (who is a long-time family friend) talks about how his porn use started, how it became a habit and then how he stopped using porn to serve a mission (Lima, Peru North). Yes, Koji got clean for his mission but lacked the tools to see and solve the root of his porn use.
Koji talks about life after his mission and how porn came back into his life as a copying mechanism which led to immense feelings of shame. Those feelings a shame and depression led to an attempted suicide that allowed Koji to fully open up to his parents and get more help. It also led to direct revelation in a powerful moment of “you are enough”.
Koji (who has completed two full iron man triathlons including Kona, HI) talks about connecting with Sara Brewer (https://www.sarabrewer.com/) and the added tools and insights that allowed Koji to end porn use. Koji also talks how he is grateful for this whole journey because of the added Christlike attribute to help others. Koji, married in September 2021, talks about opening up to his now wife Kenley on the second date about his porn use and how they navigated that road together.
This is one of the finest podcasts we’ve done to end porn use. If you are working to end porn use, looking to avoid it in the first place, or looking for better tools to help others—please listen to this podcast.
Thank you, my friend Koji, for being on the podcast. Respect. Thanks for bringing light and hope too so many! You can reach Koji at k10aoki@gmail.com.
Jul 13, 2022 • 1h 15min
Episode 543: Dr. Shawn Tucker, New Book Called “Humility: A Practical Approach”
My friend Shawn Tucker (Humanities Professor Elon University, Married Father of 4, Active LDS) joins us to talk about his new book about humility. The book explores qualities like devotion to God, meekness, vulnerability, seeing your weakness, respect, modesty, friendship. The book gives practical insights into what it means to be humble in your relationship with God and with others.
I learned so much listening to Shawn’s insights about humility. It helps me see some of my blind spots and want to do better. It helps me find more peace in my life to be normal—and finding joy in being normal.
Please check out the book at: https://www.amazon.com/Humility-Practical-Approach-Shawn-Tucker-ebook/dp/B09ML7BQNM
Thank you, Dr. Tucker, for being on the podcast and your insights and gifts to help us become a more Zion like people.
Jul 10, 2022 • 1h 18min
Episode 542: Autumn White, Scrupulosity OCD, Active Latter-day Saint
My friend Autumn Brooke White bravely shares her 20+ year journey with undiagnosed scrupulosity. Autumn (now in her late 30s) shares the intrusive thoughts about worthiness that have been part of her life since her teenage years. Autumn talks about how she best navigated walking this road alone—not feeling safe to open up to others or realizing this was not a spiritual weakness.
Autumn then shares, about two years ago, opening up to others (friends, Bishop) which led to a therapist with an understanding of scrupulosity resulting in an accurate diagnosis and a relatively short path to healing.
If you are having thoughts of unworthiness, it may not be a spiritual weakness—it may be scrupulosity (or spiritual OCD) which attacks that is most precious to you. Listening to this podcast will help you. And if you want to be prepared to help others in your circle that have undiagnosed scrupulosity, this podcast will give you tools to see it in others and get them help. No one should live 20 years with undiagnosed scrupulosity.
Thank you, Autumn, for being on the podcast. Great job. You are brave and courageous. Your story will help so many.
** Please Check Out My New Book called "Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture". Link Below. Chapter 7 is about Scrupulocity **
Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
Jul 7, 2022 • 1h 5min
Episode 541: Nicole Herway, Domestic Violence Survivor and Therapist
My friend Nicole Herway (LCSW, Mother of Two, Divorced Survivor of Intimate Partner Abuse, Active LDS) bravely shares her own story to help others. She is not doing this to speak poorly of her former spouse, but to increase knowledge and awareness of abusive patterns and debunk myths.
In the podcast Nicole debunks 8 myths using her own story, academic knowledge, and front-line clinical experience.
If you feel you might be in an abusive relationship, please listen to this podcast. It will help you. If you suspect someone you love is in an abuse relationship, please listen to this podcast. And if you are a local church leader, please listen as it will give you better tools to help others.
Thank you, Nicole, for being on the podcast. I learned so much. I encourage everyone to listen to this powerful episode.
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Nicole’s web site: https://www.herwaycounseling.com/
Power and Control Wheel and Equality Wheel: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheel-gallery/
Sister Aileen H. Clyde Quote (starting with “If charity is not ….): https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1991/11/charity-suffereth-long
Elder Kearon April 2022: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/24kearon
Elder Hollard April 2021: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/23holland
** Please Check Out My New Book (Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below)**
Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
Jul 4, 2022 • 53min
Episode 540: Lauren Harrigian, New Convert, Transgender Latter-day Saint
My friend Lauren Harrigian (early 30s, living in AZ, Mental Health Therapist) share her journey to transition and then later connect with and join the Church. Lauren talks about why transitioning helped her be her ‘full-self’ leading to more happiness and peace. Lauren then talks about why she joined the Church to find more peace and feel God’s love. She also talks about the love and support she is receiving as a member of the Church in her Ward and Relief Society.
This is a great podcast to understanding our transgender friends and how to love/support a transgender Latter-day. It also gives us insights on how we are stronger with our transgender members and how they too a part of the “Gathering of Israel” and help us create Zion.
Thank you, Lauren for being on the podcast. You are awesome.
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143


